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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends expecting me to look after kids, 6 week holidays.

999 replies

famtastic · 03/07/2017 08:44

I have just found out from another friend, that a couple I'm friendly with who live round the corner told her that I am having their children for them in the summer holidays. It would be 3/4 days a week 6:30am till 10:30am. So in theory we would still have the day after 10:30 to do what we want.

But I have not actually been asked by them! Or had days times mentioned to me. Literally all that was said to me back in may was "we may need the odd favour in the holidays" and I just said oh ok! They didn't elaborate on the favour and I was in the playground taking my kids to school so a bit distracted and didn't ask.

I was looking forward to the summer holidays with my own 2 children ages 3 and 8, lazy mornings and doing what we want, now I feel sick! There is only 2 weeks left and they still haven't mentioned it to me! And surely they can't get anything else sorted now?! Also my husband works 10/11 hours a day and he leaves at 6:50am he won't want anyone round while he's getting ready for a long day at work! And lastly I don't even know their oldest I've met him once for maximum 1minute, their kids are different ages to my two so I can't see how it's going to work well.

Ahh I don't want to do this but I don't know what to do! Am I being unreasonable??

OP posts:
Hazandduck · 03/07/2017 17:31

Aw good on you @Fam! Can't believe how much this thread moved on since I last posted, had to trawl through about 20 pages and I am absolutely astounded at the woman's brass. Fair play to you and hubs on staying strong! I think you should just post her number on here and let about twenty million mumsnetters tell her what we think :)

InvisibleKittenAttack · 03/07/2017 17:32

This is a case of needing something to be ok so just assuming it will be. OP said other people have done free morning childcare for the best part of a year so this couple is used to the idea that other people will do free childcare and they don't need to plan to pay for it.

The conversation probably went "oh no, [previous victim] can't have the kids over the summer because she's changed jobs." "Never mind, fam said she's happy to have them. Can you make sure you check with her she's got them from Monday?" Then "yep Monday 17th will check she can do that."

Never stopping to think that "happy to help" doesn't mean "have them all the time" as they are used to using people to have them all the time for free, not occasionally helping out as most people would view that sort of offer.

CoconutAmericano · 03/07/2017 17:33

You are handlng all this cray cray fantastically well op! Well done, keep it up. You should be very proud. She is absolutely insane 😂

WorzelsCornyBrows · 03/07/2017 17:34

If her work was so important she'd make damned sure she had suitable childcare in place and the terms were agreed well in advance.

I work full time, I take as much leave as I can during each school holiday, then it's holiday clubs, which are all booked and paid for in advance. I never ask favours of friends, though I'm sure in absolute emergencies they would help, but I wouldn't want my friends to think I was using them for free (or otherwise) childcare.

This woman is demented. Well done OP.

magoria · 03/07/2017 17:35

A favour is not every morning for the entire holidays. Especially without checking with the person doing it for them.

You and your DH have taken the choice for you NOT to work and have less income as a result.

She basically wants you to look after her DC for free so she can work and earn and have more disposable income at your expense.

FizzyGreenWater · 03/07/2017 17:37

Unbelievable that you think she will moan for two weeks.

Not a priority right now but you need to get your shock in there first so to speak.

'Don't even SPEAK to me about that. I cannot BELIEVE you would be so underhand as to make sure to ask for a vague favour and then plan to have me as an unpaid childminder for weeks on end from 6.30 am!!! You are NUTS!'

StormTreader · 03/07/2017 17:37

Those texts are pretty clear - she thinks shes better than you because she works. No wonder shes so angry when youre supposed to be grateful to her for being your friend and finding things to fill your time so youre not slobbing on the sofa all day, bored!

FancyThatFenceEdge · 03/07/2017 17:38

"We need a name for the mum. Like LemonDrizzleCakeLady. Or Liftzilla.."

Yeh, like....CUNTZILLA!

juneau · 03/07/2017 17:39

'Don't even SPEAK to me about that. I cannot BELIEVE you would be so underhand as to make sure to ask for a vague favour and then plan to have me as an unpaid childminder for weeks on end from 6.30 am!!! You are NUTS!'

Hear, Hear!!!

dustarr73 · 03/07/2017 17:39

I have a name for her necklikeajockeysbollix or brasso.😂😂

Ev1lEdna · 03/07/2017 17:40

I see you did that OP - well done you. I hope you enjoy the school holidays with your kids.

Decemberqueen · 03/07/2017 17:41

Hi OP...
I rarely post but even I've come on here to say that this is fucking shocking. I had one, nowhere near in this vein though. Just some requests that I mind her child while she worked at home. I did it once but not again when on another occasion she could not give me a time the kid's dad (parents not together)would be there to pick kid up from my house as it was dad's night. Do not make yourself the solution to their problems. Well done pats OP on the back . The one I mention did another few things that made me distance myself from her as well.

WashBasketsAreUs · 03/07/2017 17:42

All caught up now, so I can go and have a bath now!

She's mental. DO NOT HELP HER AT ALL!!

Somanyshoes · 03/07/2017 17:43

I can't believe the self-entitlement of people!

Alternatively, you could say "Yes I'll do your childcare" and present her a bill in advance and tell her you'll only be there if you're paid up front before you start.

Cheeky mare.

ErnesttheBavarian · 03/07/2017 17:43

My poor kids haven't been fed, totally lost track of time reading through this thread like Shock

WeAllHaveWings · 03/07/2017 17:45

ernest send them over to fam I'm sure she won't mind feeding them, she doesn't WORK

Questioningeverything · 03/07/2017 17:46

😂😂 @weallhavewings

Bluntness100 · 03/07/2017 17:48

Op you need to start a new thread then link to it on here before this one fills up,,,

whosideawasthis · 03/07/2017 17:49

wow I'm so shocked by her behaviour! Let us know if she dares to turn up!

SlummyMummy77 · 03/07/2017 17:50

This entire thread has made my buttocks clench in anger! J
How dare this entitled woman - Fam you rock!

tiggytape · 03/07/2017 17:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Libitina · 03/07/2017 17:52

We need a name for the mum. Like LemonDrizzleCakeLady. Or Liftzilla..

WORKzilla?

Jux · 03/07/2017 17:52

Just ignore for nnd e dh deal with her if she turns up (and tell us all about it!).

How likely is it that she doesn't come tonight, butt ns up tomorrow when you'e alone, or collard you in the playgroud? If she does 'go public' and approaches you in the playground, then please make it clear quite loudly that they asked you for Monday only and have been so rude that you want nothing further to do with her, then walk away head high. That will warn all the mums earwigging what she is like..... Many will just melt away (and probably become your friends Grin).

AlternativeTentacle · 03/07/2017 17:52

Now that you have replied, instead of leaving it - you should have responded to the 'I'm coming over later' with 'Perhaps you would be better off spending that time, you know. actually finding childcare? Like normal parents? Just a thought'.

LazyDailyMailJournos · 03/07/2017 17:52

It's a good point about her WORK though.

If her WORK is so important to her then why isn't she nailing down the specifics of her childcare, so that she can go to WORK safe in the knowledge that her kids are sorted? Perhaps she needs to take her WORK a bit more seriously?

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