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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends expecting me to look after kids, 6 week holidays.

999 replies

famtastic · 03/07/2017 08:44

I have just found out from another friend, that a couple I'm friendly with who live round the corner told her that I am having their children for them in the summer holidays. It would be 3/4 days a week 6:30am till 10:30am. So in theory we would still have the day after 10:30 to do what we want.

But I have not actually been asked by them! Or had days times mentioned to me. Literally all that was said to me back in may was "we may need the odd favour in the holidays" and I just said oh ok! They didn't elaborate on the favour and I was in the playground taking my kids to school so a bit distracted and didn't ask.

I was looking forward to the summer holidays with my own 2 children ages 3 and 8, lazy mornings and doing what we want, now I feel sick! There is only 2 weeks left and they still haven't mentioned it to me! And surely they can't get anything else sorted now?! Also my husband works 10/11 hours a day and he leaves at 6:50am he won't want anyone round while he's getting ready for a long day at work! And lastly I don't even know their oldest I've met him once for maximum 1minute, their kids are different ages to my two so I can't see how it's going to work well.

Ahh I don't want to do this but I don't know what to do! Am I being unreasonable??

OP posts:
DancesWithOtters · 03/07/2017 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Roughlyroughrough · 03/07/2017 17:20

Quimby I absolutely believe this thread. I've had a similar experience with a woman who's son was friends with my son. She put enormous pressure on me to have her son. I did it on some days to start with because I was too much of a wimp to say no. She didn't pay me a cent.

Eventually I got sick of being taken for a mug so I started making excuses and she stopped asking. I think some working mums get desperate and they somehow think they're entitled to get a SAHM to have their child. I had three children of my own and it was just too much having four children, one of which wasn't mine and didn't know our rules etc.

I'm much more assertive these days and I would never get into a situation like that. Having said that, it can be incredibly difficult to say no to someone, especially when they are extremely persistent.

I think the OP has done very well indeed.

SparklyMagpie · 03/07/2017 17:20

I am absolutely speechless and i feel like asking you to PM me her number so i can bloody ring her and get it through her thick skull

The absolute cheek!

I can't wait to see her reaction to your DH taking over now

A massive well done to you OP, i'd have struggled with this from the beginning but knowing how angry i feel for you, i could go all guns blazing lol and i shall remember this thread when my little boy is at the age for these " favours " from friends parents

Good luck you two Grin

fleshmarketclose · 03/07/2017 17:21

Pretty sure the nearly fourteen year old will be secretly cheering you OP. After all which teen wants dragging from their bed at 6.30am in the holidays to be babysat by a complete stranger with two little ones? There would be meltdown here if I so much as thought it tbh. Hopefully the teen will now be able to stay in bed and keep an eye on his sibling as required which is pretty much the norm at that age.

Roughlyroughrough · 03/07/2017 17:22

OP can you start a new thread please.

DartmoorDoughnut · 03/07/2017 17:23

Glad your DH will be there to back you up

rinabean · 03/07/2017 17:23

Quimby you can't believe it because you're not a dickhead (I assume)

I'm pretty sure that any conversation between them was more like: "Do you think we can get her to do it? Oh I know, if you be vague and I'll get her to agree to the Monday, we can spring it on her then and get her to do the whole holiday!"

they're not nice people, or honest

It seems like they try this on anyone they can. It is horrible that people prey on people who aren't assertive, and try and twist it into them being the victim

Starlight2345 · 03/07/2017 17:23

The difference between the beginning of the thread and you now are remarkable..You will of grown from this..

Don't put this link on FB or send it her..She won't agree...Have you ever seen AIBU - yes... no I am not.. some people won't get it and it will create more drama.

Enjoy your summer holidday Op

Bluntness100 · 03/07/2017 17:24

Blimey, I just saw this, just want to say stick to your guns op. This woman seems to think you're her free childminder. Most deranged thing ever. A favour is once or twice, planned in advance carefully and resulting in much gratitude. I've never encountered such misplaced entitlement. She needs to sort her own child care out, she doesn't get you as a free child minder because you don't work. It's nuts.

Stop responding to her, just leave it now.

rollonthesummer · 03/07/2017 17:24

I'm pretty sure that any conversation between them was more like: "Do you think we can get her to do it? Oh I know, if you be vague and I'll get her to agree to the Monday, we can spring it on her then and get her to do the whole holiday!"

Do people really have conversations like that?!

famtastic · 03/07/2017 17:25

Husband is home now, going to eat etc, il update if she does come round.

He said he's just going to say she said no anything else you want!?

Bank card? Car keys?

Lol he will too.

OP posts:
IrritatedUser1960 · 03/07/2017 17:25

I'd say they have left it too late to ask and you have things planned so sorry no.

Quimby · 03/07/2017 17:25

I may have expressed myself poorly.
I was not trying to call the op a liar or troll hunt in case it's been read that way.

I was trying to put across that I just can not fathom how people like this exist. How in the world would someone get to the point in life of having a 14 year old kid and not realise how ridiculous they are being.

In summary : op = good person
Other person = fucking ridiculous to the point that I can barely (but crucially do) believe they're an actual adult person

wetpebbles · 03/07/2017 17:25

A

FuckingHateRats · 03/07/2017 17:26

OMG :o film their interactions through the window please!

Spadequeen · 03/07/2017 17:27

Rina, to be fair, we don't know that. They could just be completely clueless, we don't know that they maliciously set out to be shit heads, they could just be!

Mulledwine1 · 03/07/2017 17:28

On the plus side OP you have kept us well entertained this afternoon. I suspect this will go into the annals of MN classics.

wheredoesallthetimego · 03/07/2017 17:28

I was babysitting for money at that age!

Ev1lEdna · 03/07/2017 17:28

You must be crazy to think this is fair on us! Do you not think it's selfish of you not to give a bit of your free time up! Il come round later and sort it out as I have to get back to my WORK.

I swear to God if someone capitalised 'work' like that at me as if I was just a feckless idiot waiting for my time to be filled I'd lose the plot. She is a cheeky fecker. I'd just refuse to do the Monday and tell her not to bother coming round to sort it out. How unbelievably rude and arrogant.

ButDoYouAvocado · 03/07/2017 17:29

We need a name for the mum. Like LemonDrizzleCakeLady. Or Liftzilla..

Aeroflotgirl · 03/07/2017 17:29

I hate the entitlement of some working parents, who think its the job of stahp to provide free childcare during the holidays, like this woman. I gave up work so I could stay at home and look after MY kids, not yours! My goodness the brass neck of that woman, really!

thatdearoctopus · 03/07/2017 17:30

She's clearly not going to listen to reason, so there's no point reminding her that you're not letting them down because you had no idea they were expecting you to do any of this (apart from the monday)
So yes, maybe the best thing is for your dh to just say "computer say no" on repeat.
They're going to be furious and slag you off round the neighbourhood anyway. But I bet everyone else has wised up to them so I wouldn't worry about your reputation.

DAMNgina · 03/07/2017 17:30

What time does she finish work..?

Will it be before this thread fills up?

Off -topic, I'm quite chuffed I'm on a legendary thread...

eatingtomuch · 03/07/2017 17:31

I choose to work part time / term time. You would be amazed at the assumptions many of my friends made around childcare.

I was happy to help the odd day of a few hours of they had appointments but I had to be firm that I would not provide daily childcare.

I love the holidays with my kids and the freedom that brings. Having others kids daily prevents and changes that freedom.

RuggerHug · 03/07/2017 17:31

ButDoYou WagonFacedCheekyBint?