To not go with 18 yo DD for an injection?

[danielandgeorgia]

DD is getting that new meningitis injection next week. She wants me to come with her. AIBU to say she is old enough to go alone?

Yes she is, but why wouldn't you give your DD moral and emotional support? And why would you not want to if she's scared and wants a hand to hold?

Fair enough if you're busy but even if my 70yo mum asked me to go to a medical apt with her i would. Sometimes kindness doesn't hurt.

Of course she's old enough to go on her own.

But if a friend asked you to go with her , would you say no?

Depends really - if you're free and she wants you to go then I'd go. If youre working and would haveto take time off then don't.

MNetters really confuse me. They seem over-sentimental at times when their children are younger but then dump them from a height once they hit 18.

Is there a reason you can't or don't want to go?

Ideally I'd like to get the housework done

Tell her you'll come with her as long as she splits the housework with you, then. To be done before not afterwards.

Housework??? It can wait, go and support your child.

You're right, danielandgorgia. A bit of light dusting is way more important than supporting an anxious child.

could someone please let me know - am I a vile MN Viper, or are some posters just clueless????

Ideally I'd like to get the housework done

Seriously

Housework? Bloody hell...........

Are you having a laugh? You won't accompany your daughter for something that worries her because you'd rather do housework?!

If my dd (who is 18) wanted me there with her, I'd be there.

Housework can always wait.

Does she want you to go because she's afraid of needles or a fainter? In which case, go in and keep her calm. I don't like needles; when I had my first blood test at 16 they were checking for Leukaemia (which I didn't have) and a few other really nasty things (mercifully absent). I was sure it would hurt like hell and that I was going to be told I was v ill. I would have been very hurt (and even more nervous and fidgety) if DM hadn't held my hand... and held me still!

MNetters really confuse me. They seem over-sentimental at times when their children are younger but then dump them from a height once they hit 18.

Well, there's no hivemind, you don't know if the sentimental ones are the same as those who drop their children at age 18.

But yes, that's the second thread I feel utterly baffled by.

Teenage daughters still have feelings, no idea why some mothers think they don't.

Do some women turn into robots when they turn 18?

I've had my mum come with me to the dentist when I was having some scary treatment. She also came with me to a gp appointment once when I felt I couldn't cope. Both times I was in my 30s!

My mum came with me for blood tests when I had a spell of needle phobia during an illness that required a lot of blood tests. I was 24 at the time. Bless her.

If an 18yo asks their mum to go with them, then the mum is probably needed.

Mine hates injections, she got hers done at the same time as we all got some holiday jabs - but I'd have gone with her anyway if she'd asked.

You don't want to go with her to something that worries her as you have housework? Sounds like you have a great relationship with her! You'll always be very close with that attitude!

She doesn't have a fear. She frequently gets blood tests and doesn't mind needles at all - that's not just my opinion, she says that. She "just wants me there"

I'm 32 and I've asked DH to attend my prenatal GTT, as last time I went by myself and completely broke down. I think this sort of thing isn't about age, so it could be nice to go if she genuinely wants support.

She "just wants me there"

Then be there. You don't stop being her parent because she is 18 now.

Sometimes I want my mum to just be there. She always is. And I'm 40. I feel absolutely loved and valued and I know where to turn and who to talk to if I ever need.

Do that for your daughter please

I've noticed that too VV
Go with her op, agree about splitting housework, one thing I'd suggest is that you don't let her feel like an imposition on your time. 18 is still young in the grand scheme, and I'm sure you wouldn't want to put her off coming to you in the future

If I really wanted my mum there, she would be there. And that's why I'm going to look after her when she goes senile rather than take her money and go on a cruise.

You reap what you sow!