To not go with 18 yo DD for an injection?

[danielandgeorgia]

DD is getting that new meningitis injection next week. She wants me to come with her. AIBU to say she is old enough to go alone?

AIBU to say she is old enough to go alone?

Of course she's old enough to go alone! I know at 18 I wanted to go alone for appointments and did.
If she's asked if you'll go along with her for support though, why wouldn't you?!
I know I would.

How mean. I would have been gutted if my mum had prioritised housework over coming with me to a medical appointment

If your child (no matter what age) wants you with her then you go. No argument.

If I really wanted my mum there, she would be there.

This. I know I said I went by myself, but that was out of choice. If I'd said I wanted her to take me, she would have like a flash!

I dunno. Seems to me that 18 is plenty old enough to be doing things like this without your mum there to hold your hand. Tell her she'll be fine. Tell her you'll pick her up afterwards if she needs.

When I had bridge work done at the dentist and was 38 my mum still came with me. A bit of moral support goes a long way!

I would go if my teenager wanted me to be there. Infact, I would be pleased he'd asked.

You're her Mum. Be there. Wouldn't you do it for your best friend if they asked? The cleaning can wait, your house won't stand up and walk off.

I dunno. Seems to me that 18 is plenty old enough to be doing things like this without your mum there to hold your hand. Tell her she'll be fine.

If she'd be fine alone, she'd probably know that, wouldn't she?

Unless it is part of a larger problem with lack of independence (i.e. if she doesn't go to appointments for routine checks alone, etc.) I really don't see a reason to deny her the emotional support.

And if it is a larger problem, then when she has to get an injection is not the best time to bring it up.

I'd think you were my mum, but my sister is younger than 18...

This is exactly why I don't have a good relationship wit my mum, she always prioritised other things over us kids (usually cleaning too). Luckily I have a bloody amazing MIL, and have built up an almost mother daughter bond with her but still sad I will never have the real thing.

Think about what you want your long term relationship to be like.

I'd go with her even without a specific need if she asked, but in my case there are two influencing factors - I am a housework slacker and workwise I have a degree of autonomy. If I had a critical work appt it might not be possible but otherwise I'd go. The idea of sharing the housework appeals but mainly because I hate it

If she had a specific fear/issue then I'd work with her to arrange a time to ensure I could avoid a work clash.

All that said if it really wasn't possible I'd tell her I was sorry but wouldn't die of guilt. They all know I turn up if at all possible.

Why on earth wouldn't you go with her? Is getting the housework done that important? I'm going for a colposcopy next week. Now I'm something of a veteran of colposcipies, this will be my fifth. But if I wanted my Mum there, she would be there. In the same way that when my Mum had to have a lump removed, I was there. It's what we do for one another. It's about loving and caring for someone, looking after them. Why wouldn't you do that?

I assume 'I need to get housework done, so I am not gonna be arsed to go to the doctors with my daughter' is a joke?

If not, I fucking despair, I really do.

Housework. Snort.

What's that poem about the housework can wait but children can't.

I would go with her, as she's asked, but wait in the waiting room rather than go into the actual room with her. That's what I do with my 15 year old. You're there both before and immediately afterwards but they are being independent to an extent too.

My mum was like this when I was younger. Never came with me to anything and sometimes I really wanted her to. We are not close now. At all.

Oh dear you sound awful. I would go anywhere with my children if they wanted me to - I can't believe anyone wouldn't. I feel so sad for her. I imagined you had something really important to do.

If she wants you there that should be reason enough to go. I'd be really hurt if my mum prioritised housework over me looking for a bit of support from her

My dd is 24 and suffers with anxiety. I go to lots of things with her -GP, Dentist, job centre. If she needs me then I go.

Ideally I'd like to get the housework done
Your DD can't expect you to support her when you obviously have such important business to attend to!!

I despair.

I'm 28, and so do most of my medical stuff by myself these days, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that if I said I wanted them for anything, my parents (both) would come with me if they possibly could. And actually being that sure is one of the reasons that I am confident enough to go out in the world by myself, and have been from a young age - because I can try things, and if anything goes wrong, they'll be there. We're also all very close - and they know that I'd be there for them if needed too, now I'm old! The little silly things really do build up to a bigger picture that can be worth thinking about, although I know that it's not always so obvious while looking directly at the small thing!

I live 5000 miles away from my mum. I'd pick having an injection with her over most things. You don't know what the future holds. But you know it probably holds more housework.

I swear there was this exact thread a couple of weeks ago.

Does she need a lift or something?

Its doesn't matter how old you are sometimes you just want your mum to be there. You need to go with her OP. She might just want some time with you and is using it as an excuse for that.
My mum took a weeks leave last year to take me to a hospital operation and look after me afterwards even thou DH was perfectly capable. But I asked her so she came and I'm in my 30s.

Meh.

If I was at work they'd go themselves but if not it'd be a nice opportunity for a coffee and chin-wag with my offspring.