FENCEWANKER

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I'll start by saying I am absolutely furious. So bear with angry spelling and grammar.

We are incredibly lucky and live on a marina on a river. It's very beautiful. On the river are temporary moorings for riverboats. This is lovely. Some people have unofficial 'permanent' moorings and have made their gardens pretty and mow the grass. This is nice.

3 weeks ago a shiny new boat showed up directly opposite our house. It's a lovely boat, nice to see out of the window.

Yesterday THEY PUT UP A THREE PANEL OVER SIX FOOT FUCKING FENCE. See pic.

Would I be unreasonable to burn that fucker to the ground and also put a hole in his stupid boat?

If there's a footpath at the end of your garden doesn't that mean it's public and he has no right to put anything there at all?

Also, do you think the marina owner is selling moorings that he has no right to sell

VivienneWestwoodsKnickers

Yes, you are right! I thought that as well, it is an office cubicle wall.

Weird wanker, this one.

I think you might have upped the ante on parking wars. If it doesn't involve a boat, river or a marina now we will feel disappointed.

@Mexxi yep me too!

We've had a look and it looks like it's the Environment Agency that owns the mooring there, not the marina. I'm phoning them tomorrow

Just to clarify, ping pong table (definitely is, it's on wheels and everything) is put in position by Formerly Nice Boat Man, not original Fencewanker. However we can see where his inspiration has come from, can't we children?

The supporting broom really is funny.

canalrivertrust.org.uk/enjoy-the-waterways/boating/mooring

I don't know the rules, but boat and canal owners need licences and, for a home mooring, need to fulfill a series of legal obligations.

It is rather ugly actually.

If they are moored permanently how are they getting rid of waste water etc? I hope they aren't chucking it in the river.

If they are moored permanently how are they getting rid of waste water etc?

I kind of assumed boats were like caravans and had those cassette things you empty. But who knows. People who can be Fencewankers and Broomwankers are probably capable of pretty much anything.

God I'd hate to live near a river. Forget about fences and wankers, think about the river rats yikes! No thanks.

Enjoyable thread though. Such escapism for me anyway. And very amusing too. But maybe not so much for OP.

gingernaut - thank you for that link

think about the river rats

Never seen one. However MANY well fed looking cats...

He fancies himself to be a structural engineer there with that broom setup.

Do you think he did sketches and load calculations before the great erection?

Yes l too thought about the downside of playing ping pong by a river.

Let's hope he's got plenty of balls as tbey'll soon be bobbing about in the river behind that huge election. ............What ?

He is taking the piss OP and knows you're onto him. The upended ping pong table is there to annoy you more and it's really annoying me too

It is stupidly annoying. Must be clear though, we have two (2) separate wankers now. Fence and broom.

Sorry, the broom erection wasn't an installation erected by FENCEWANKER?

well that's bizarre.... is the ping pong table on marina land? it looks closer to you than fencewanker's fence?

So what would happen if the broom , accidentally of course, ended up in the river? Is it actually holding up the table? Could someone, not saying you of course, give a good old shove?

Ping pong table (and broom) is on the bit of marina-owned land next to Formerly Nice Boat Man's boat. So yes, it is even closer than Fencewanker's fence. But not as permanent, due to being a ping pong table.

You know what? The ping pong table actually makes me start thinking that the original fence looks quite nice...

And that's how they get you Lostinaseaofbubbles

Is formerly nice boat man erecting the ping pong table to piss off Fencewanker then?