FENCEWANKER

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I'll start by saying I am absolutely furious. So bear with angry spelling and grammar.

We are incredibly lucky and live on a marina on a river. It's very beautiful. On the river are temporary moorings for riverboats. This is lovely. Some people have unofficial 'permanent' moorings and have made their gardens pretty and mow the grass. This is nice.

3 weeks ago a shiny new boat showed up directly opposite our house. It's a lovely boat, nice to see out of the window.

Yesterday THEY PUT UP A THREE PANEL OVER SIX FOOT FUCKING FENCE. See pic.

Would I be unreasonable to burn that fucker to the ground and also put a hole in his stupid boat?

I'm phoning people tomorrow. I'm still cross. Apparently planning don't answer your complaint unless they need more information. And I'm telling them about the tree. Poor tree.

I do wonder what the OP would do if homes were build along the riverbank... I mean, properly along it, not 1000 yards away from it like the OP!

Wouldn't get any view at all then.

It's a conservation area and a listed park opposite, so it's very unlikely I'd have to worry about that. Making Jeffrey even more annoying.

Also, it's more like 10 yards than 1000. So they'd have to be on stilts. Which sounds quite fun. Maybe his next move.

For a lay person please, can you permanently purchase moorings that aren't attached to your own property? or do you rent them?

Regardless, you can't just do as you like, especially in a Conservation Area. Fencewanker is breaking all the rules whether or not the Marina Owner turns a blind eye. You can't cut back trees without Council permission, even if they're not protected and you shouldn't be cutting back any trees or hedges in nesting season.

I'd be tempted to buy a dinghy and an anchor and frequently moor mid river, right you know where

The tree being cut maybe the undoing of Fencewanker™

He absolutely won't have permission to erect a fence

Or anything else

Is it definitely the river fanny?

So has fence wanker just adopted a bit of river bank as his?

Yes. On the edge of the River Fanny. I so wish I'd put that ony diagram.

Cock. Absolute cock.
I've thought about boat life being a way out of private renting hell. Marina fees seem quite high, fuck it I might just fence off some river bank and become toad of toad hall.
Oh hang on, I can't do it because I don't own the river.

Twat

He's wanking into the river fanny?

rude placemarking

How could you have overlooked only the best part of WANKFENCEGATE???

The River Fanny.

Maybe a placard?
you could be the Fanny Preservation society
saving the riverbank from innapropriate erections

What do we want -fanny. When do we want it - now!

Well this has descended

the Fanny Preservation society
saving the riverbank from innapropriate erections

I am not sure how a thread entitled FENCEWANKER could be considered to be degenerating

You know, a petition with that title would go viral
and probably get a lot of press interest and attention on issue, as well as embarrassment for the owner of said fence

Ok so you enjoyed looking out the window at his boat. Suddenly a fence appears so you can no longer see his boat. You are very angry about this as you liked looking at his boat. Clearly he did not enjoy you staring at his boat. Hmmm. Hard to say who is being unreasonable here to be honest! Just hoping none of this is euphemisms given the bizarre thread title.

the Fanny Preservation Society saving the riverbank from inappropriate erections

Well this has descended

I was just thinking the same thing. But then this is Mumsnet...

I couldn't give a toss about his stupid boat MissDuke. I do care about the river bank, protected trees, nesting birds and the conservation area. HTH.

update complaint passed to planning enforcement. They sounded UNIMPRESSED

Ohhh! That sounds like progress! How unimpressed?

Yay! Save the River Fanny!

How funny, without outing us both, I walked my dog on t'other side of the river this morning and clocked that fence, fencewanker is an apt name. That is not riverbank etiquette!

I agree the marina owners won't give a shiny shite sadly. Hope something happens to the fence