FENCEWANKER

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I'll start by saying I am absolutely furious. So bear with angry spelling and grammar.

We are incredibly lucky and live on a marina on a river. It's very beautiful. On the river are temporary moorings for riverboats. This is lovely. Some people have unofficial 'permanent' moorings and have made their gardens pretty and mow the grass. This is nice.

3 weeks ago a shiny new boat showed up directly opposite our house. It's a lovely boat, nice to see out of the window.

Yesterday THEY PUT UP A THREE PANEL OVER SIX FOOT FUCKING FENCE. See pic.

Would I be unreasonable to burn that fucker to the ground and also put a hole in his stupid boat?

I don't think so, because Fencewanker won't be able to see Broomwankers ping pong screen table because of his MASSIVE AWFUL FENCE.

How very bizarre, Sorry op I would be fuming with it all too if it was me but as its not its actually quite funny .

Can you speak to Broomwanker and ask whats going on if he was previously nice?

Some people on this thread really need to get a sense of humour :D

One FENCEWANKER is an anomaly but now you have FENCEWANKER and BROOMWANKER.

This is a cluster of WANKERS.

You need to check up stream for river water contamination. And contact the CDC.

We must stop the spread of wankage.

An put up Skull and Croosbone signs warning of river contamination.

And get a Hazmat suit lest you catch the wank and feel the urge to erect something awful.

Great thread, great photos and super diagram 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

I think you are NBU to think the fence is ugly but I think yabu to worry about it. I guess he has just propped them up so it's not like a proper fence is it????

How long do you think he is likely to stay? Days?, months? Years?

Have you spoken to the Environment Ageny OP?

Can't believe people are saying this doesn't look awful. I'd knock it down in the night. Why must people be such massive cunts?

It's all such an eyesore.
Hope you manage to get it sorted.

then you could do pointing at things that upset you poses with DM faces...

I hope it's not. I'd rather eat my own eyes than point at things for a fascist rag

However. Ping pong table is now down and set up for ping pong. With water on 3 sides. Genius.

Fence is still bloody there. Considering offering a graffiti artist I know free bed and board to make it look pretty.

Ping pong balls float. They might be on to something? A sort of ping pong / water polo mash up?

Would your artist friend be willing to do a mural of fence wanker and his behind fence activities? It would be like the fence wasn't even there then....

what is doing behind the fence that requires so much privacy? Possibly clue in his name...

My spaniel would be happy to retrieve ping pong balls from the river for a small consideration

What is it that you are doing in your house op , that all your neighbours are erecting barriers so they don't have to see?

That's the real question

Have you tried your local paper about the cutting of the trees ?

Our local paper would report in the opening of a bloody envelope

Just to be pedantic can I correct something further up the thread
You can apply for planning permission on land you do not own - it's actually quite common practice when people are deciding whether or not to purchase a piece of land BUT you must inform the landowner that you are doing it as part of the process
https://www.planningportal.co.uk/info/200126/applications/59/howtoo_apply/3

Although I don't think this applies in this case as they obviously don't give a shit about what they are or aren't allowed to do

*What is it that you are doing in your house op , that all your neighbours are erecting barriers so they don't have to see?

That's the real question*

Don't think I've not wondered. But I really just sit there, read my book. Quietly.

Bold fail

so now you have broomwanker in addition to fencewanker?

Must be something in the water.

There's a miniseries in that Chardonnay
The River Fanny version of Top of the Lake.

Ping pong balls retrieved with net. Excellent entertainment. tried quite hard to look like we weren't looking or laughing

Id be itching to get some cans of spray paint and do some art work on the panels, canal side. Cock and balls perhaps? Signed 'banksie 11'

There again,I've got form...2am nicking of a tablecloth from a cafe by the colosseum in Rome, writing 'trespassers will be persecuted' on it in lipstick and draping it on part of the colosseum way back when.

Ahh, those were the days

Maybe he's going to attach string to his balls so if any drop in the Fanny he can pull them out?