AIBU to think 18 year old DD could get the shopping delivery in?

[ncfortoday]

Hi, I'm willing to hear I'm BU (I'm not one of those ) so be as honest as possible.

I have a food shopping delivery coming tomorrow (a rather large one at that) but something has come up and I can't be in the house. However, DD will be home all day. She's 18. I asked her if she'd be okay getting it in and she said she'd rather not. She says she has never done it before, etc. AIBU to think it's fine to expect her to do it? Obviously if she won't, I'll have to change it. Is it something your 18 year olds would be happy to do?

My 15 year old ds does this regularly.

Yes, anyone who doesn't instantly agree that anyone and everyone must have a clinical diagnoses for the simplest thing is nasty.

FFS. The OP says she isn't anxious, who the fuck are you to decide she is and tell the rest of us we have to agree?

Mine do it every week. The 22 year old gets asked for ID for alcohol and the 18 year old doesn't!

LiveLongAndProspero - the OP also says she is not lazy. Who are you to tell the rest of us she is and then go on and on about it in an aggressive manner, come to that? Describing all and any form of avoidant behaviour as laziness is just... lazy... It sounds like the dd is trying to avoid temporary elevated feelings of anxiety, which she should not be allowed to do, as those feelings are within the norm and she needs to get used to dealing with them so she can learn they are not harmful or long lasting after successfully dealing with a situation like this, but that is not the same thing as her not being arsed to help (ie being genuinely lazy).

She sounds like she has ordinary levels of anxiety about doing something new. The way to deal with that, is to do it.

@Groupie123 - the OP hadn't even asked her to put the shopping away, literally sign for it and move it into the hallway.

I can't believe it was even posed as a question - if she is home and the shopping is due to be delivered, surely she signs for it no questions asked?

She's EIGHTEEN. no wonder the world is going to hell in a handcart.

Can she open the door and accept a delivery from Topshop or ASOS?

If the answer is yes then you have your answer.

My 16 year old.has done that for years tell her, don't ask her - she's being lazy and unhelpful.

My sons always had an issue doing this. It wasn't laziness, it was anxiety. They do it without issue now and put everything away but I can see where your daughter is coming from.

LiveLongAndProspero
Maybe if you'd read the op but struggles to go to doctor on her own
Says a lot. Who are you getting aggressive at?

roundaboutthetown but clearly live is the expert here! The dd has a job so can't have anxiety! Even though posters on here (including me) have stated they have worked the same job yet suffer with it.
Yet still can't be possible obviously

Maybe read it yourself.

Pretty sure my 4 yo would be up to this task if I let him.

Sorry I haven't read the whole thread, but in answer to original post, YANBU!!! I was living on my own at 18! Had to deal with jobs, car insurance, paying bills etc etc. Surely any 18 year old can bring in the shopping??? If I was you I'd say- if you r living in my house, the least you can do is help a tiny bit.

Excellent post roundaboutthetown.

OP did it all work out OK.

I hate to say it and may be barking up wrong tree but is your GP male? I don't really blame any young girl who is uncomfortable being alone around males she doesn't't know very well.

My 6yo would easily be able to manage that.

Ridiculous. Honestly I would regard myself as a failure if I'd raised an 18 year old who wouldn't do a simple chore.

Our gardener came today. My 10 year old greeted him, gave him a hand with his mower and then afterwards paid him with money from my purse. I had no idea he was even here; it isn't his normal day. I only knew when I questioned why my purse was out of my bag.

Temporaryanonymity I'd consider myself a failure of my kids let someone into the house without my knowledge!

It's so tedious to hear how many people's tiny children can do this and that.

I think the OP must know other kids can do this and that! The question is why her supposedly non-lazy, supposedly non-anxious child feels less than able to!

@Temporaryanonymity that really isn't something I'd be shouting about. That really isn't something to be proud of.

He is the gardener, of course he didn't come in the house. He parks outside and starts gardening.

Temporaryanonymity that was a bit of a joke because I wouodn't be accusing any parent if failing based on one example of a child's behaviour!

Children are not dogs or horses or floral borders that one can train to go in a set direction. They are people one guides and encourages. When things appear to go wrong I eouldn't say I'be failed, or they have failed, I 'd wonder why and what could be done.

YANBU! My 3 DC are proper lazy and they can still manage to get the Tesco delivery in for me whilst I'm at work. They are 19, 17 &13. 2 with some anxiety issues. And they manage to put it all away.
Think maybe you need to explain to her that you're busy, she eats the food and for once needs to help. Or she can start shopping for herself.

Tunnocksmallow so because your kids have anxiety does that mean you speak for all? Just because they can do it, all people with anxiety can?

My 5 year old runs to the door to get deliveries. It's not exactly difficult.

If your daughter wants to eat then she needs to learn how to answer the door and take food deliveries. And put them all away too! She lives in the house and should know where everything goes. I certainly hope she does know and actually cooks too.

She'll get nowhere in life if you're still essentially tying her shoelaces as an adult.

I am not speaking for anybody, just stating what happens here in my house, you know, as previous posters have done on the thread.
I was commenting on the op's situation, obviously not everyone in every household getting a home delivery!
And, I think the OP has said she's not aware of her daughter having any anxiety issues.