AIBU to think 18 year old DD could get the shopping delivery in?

[ncfortoday]

Hi, I'm willing to hear I'm BU (I'm not one of those ) so be as honest as possible.

I have a food shopping delivery coming tomorrow (a rather large one at that) but something has come up and I can't be in the house. However, DD will be home all day. She's 18. I asked her if she'd be okay getting it in and she said she'd rather not. She says she has never done it before, etc. AIBU to think it's fine to expect her to do it? Obviously if she won't, I'll have to change it. Is it something your 18 year olds would be happy to do?

Wow!
My 13 year old does from time to time if i am not home in time. First time she put the fresh broccoli in the freezer and some similar mistakes but I got home shortly after and caught all her mistakes. I gave her full marks for effort and she has done better since!

Social awkwardness = a bit - reluctant to ask for things in restaurants etc but she can exchange a sentence or 2 with a delivery person.

My 11 yr old with asd brings it in and puts it all away...

Oh and now people think this is a joke! Definitely not

She doesn't have anxiety no. I'd say she is probably on the shyer (is that a word?) side but she is normally okay.

Well, I think the comments have told me then!

My 19 year old was a bit like that last year. I had the same discussion as I was out at work and hubby in his home office at top of house.

She did it grudgingly, and guess what, the ocado guy ID'd her. We had wine in the order. And not in a nice way. He actually said " I can't deliver unless an adult present" .when she explained she was, he demanded photographic ID and didn't believe her. Hubby was in his home office on third floor and had to come down or mr Ocado was taking it back. We did laugh about it though.

It's social anxiety, I'd get her to do it.

Ah ok, cross post, sounds like it's interacting with the delivery person she's anxious about. Still yanbu! Life skills.

If she has no anxiety issues she should 100% do this. Please don't change it around her, she will be eating the food and it's a very simple task. If she is in all day, she could really be putting it all away as well...

Just tell her to do it. Why ask at all? She eats the food presumably - she can help around the house. Either that or ask her to fetch it from an actual shop...

You made the mistake of asking her.

"DD I can't be there to take the shopping in and put it away tomorrow, so you'll have to take care of it".

My 9 and 11 year old do this each week. One at the door other going back and forth to the kitchen then both unpacking (at that point I normally intervene to remind them about where things go/how they go).

My four year old 'helps' me with our delivery- but I know that's totally different

Still, an 18 year old resident in the same house ought to be able to bring in some shooing and make small talk with delivery person.

You are def NBU. My DD19 helps if she's around, as does my DS9. The guy dumps it in the kitchen. He'll chat. Or not. It's just like talking to someone at the checkout. Can she do that? If I asked DD she'd say what do I have to do? I'd say ask him to put it in the kitchen. Say thank you. That's it. She'd say ok, no problem!

I'm 17 and my parents ask me to get some things from the supermarket sometimes never mind receive a delivery. If I said with any seriousness I didn't "want the hassle" of either I would not be met with very positive responses.

No shame in being shy but a good way to help her get over that would be for her to do something simple like take the shopping in and have a brief interaction with the delivery driver.

Is she planning on eating any of this food?

Yes I suppose the mistake was asking her. It's probably my fault as she is my oldest so I do kind of see her as younger than she is.

offer to cancel the delivery and leave her a list with taxi money.

Good grief. Just tell her to do it, that is utterly ridiculous.

With regards to managing it in the hallway, most delivery drivers will bring it into the kitchen if she asks.

YANBU! I lived on my own at 18. Tell her to get a grip and pull her weight.
Fuming for you.
But it is hot and I am pregnant and grumpy.... so feel that way anyway!

My sen 11yo did it today, I'd just sat down to feed the baby when the shopping turned up, so he dealt with it all. All away and everything, although I had to rearrange the freezer so the door shut.

Talk through what she needs to do. She may not know whether she needs to sign anything, empty crates and give them back, leave a tip etc. Does she take the bags off the driver at the doorstep or do they take it to the kitchen? How much stuff are you expecting? What do you want her to do if there are any substitutions?

I can see it would be daunting if you've never done it before.

Of course she should do it.

shes 18! With no SEN and no anxiety. Of course she can open to door, accept bags if shopping and stick frozen and chilled stuff away

It's funny because she works in a supermarket (think Sainsbury's local or Tesco express) and is fine talking to customers there.

Is there such thing as anxiety when at home with social interaction? I can't explain what I'm asking really.

She's fine when at her job or asking a teacher for help, etc. but struggles to go to doctor on her own (she likes me to come) etc. I definitely wouldn't say she had anxiety though, I suppose it's more of her just being a bit shy? As she is so confident at work and her teachers always describe her as a 'social butterfly'

All my DC love this "job" they carry bags into the kitchen, know where everything goes other than frozen we have two freezers a large chest and normal one. They are EIGHT, SEVEN and THREE!

Erm, tipping? Shit, is this a thing? I thought you weren't allowed to!

oh for goodness sakes. works in a supermarket but cant put shopping away? blimey oh riley. shes got your number!