Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


Should I take the job when I cheated to get it

309 replies

Fuzzywuzzy1 · 18/06/2017 09:22

Name changed.

I'm rubbish at interviews and had failed at over 7 over 6 months.

I had a job coming up and I knew there was a friend of a friend who could help me. I admit I was manipulative. I gave her a bit of a sob story about how I was so depressed I couldn't get a job (it was true though). Knowing she would put a good word in for me.

So she told the hiring manager I was brilliant and the person she wanted to get the job etc. She worked for the same department previously and was very well respected so this personal recommendation mattered. But while it helps there is a 'merit' based system so while it's not point based it's an overall mark for your answer.

So the friend found out the questions beforehand for me and rang me to give me them and then sat down with me the following week and told me what to say for each one.

When the day of the interview came I obviously excelled as I knew the questions and answers. There was one question I didn't know but gave a good answer anyway.

I got the job and was delighted. I am qualified for the job and competent but I'm so so rubbish at interviews.

As my start date goes nearer I my excitement has gone.

I cheated.

I would not have known the answers without help and had a HUGE advantage over the other candidates. I don't think I would be sacked if found out and there's no way they could prove it anyway but I just feel bad.

Like I've not got the job on merit.

But then loads of people get jobs because of who they know every day.

So maybe I should forgive myself.

AIBU to feel really guilty?

OP posts:

VladmirsPoutine · 18/06/2017 09:25

Forgive yourself and do the best you can.


Auspiciouspanda · 18/06/2017 09:25

Meh take it, you need a job.


Fuzzywuzzy1 · 18/06/2017 09:25

Thank you.

I was desperate for a job. I did what I had to to get it.

OP posts:

Fuzzywuzzy1 · 18/06/2017 09:26

I'm going to take it. I just feel really bad

OP posts:

kimlo · 18/06/2017 09:27

I'm rubbish at interviews. I would take the job.


Fishface77 · 18/06/2017 09:27

You used your initiative and every available resource to get that job.
Now prove your worthy of it.


SellMySoulForMoreSleep · 18/06/2017 09:28

It's not the worst thing anyone has ever done. Just make sure you do the job well and enjoy it.


MatildaTheCat · 18/06/2017 09:28

Well yes, you did cheat but your friend wouldn't have done all that for you unless she actually believed you were a good candidate for the role. Few people would risk their professional reputation by recommending a friend who was rubbish.

So take the job and make it a success but never ask for a favour like that again. Make a donation to a relevant charity from your first salary to atone. Smile


Witchend · 18/06/2017 09:29

I think she is the one whose job would be on the line if found out. You didn't make her get the questions etc.


OnnaNoHito · 18/06/2017 09:29

You know what you did was wrong, but it's done now and there's nothing you can do about it.

Keep the job, and "pay it back" by doing good deeds for other people as often as you can, whether that's using some of your first wage to donate to a food bank or something as simple as offering a colleague a ride home on a rainy day when they would usually walk.


Cuppaoftea · 18/06/2017 09:30

Take it and throw yourself in to the role, this lady put her personal reputation on the line to help you.


Fuzzywuzzy1 · 18/06/2017 09:30

Do you think it was 'wrong' and cheating?

OP posts:

bumblebee50 · 18/06/2017 09:30

To be honest you obviously really wanted the job and used everything in your power to get it - wouldn't anyone who had that opportunity? Lots of people do a really good interview but then can't hack the job. Now you've got the chance to prove what you can do. Best of luck.


DartmoorDoughnut · 18/06/2017 09:32

Congratulations! You just did your homework, it's not like you lied about qualifications you just prepped for the interview!


Urglewurgle · 18/06/2017 09:32

It's not cheating really, it's using your connections. I wouldn't worry about it, it's not like you've lied to say you can do something when you can't.

IMO It's not dissimilar to the advantage an internal candidate might have over an external.

I don't think you've done anything wrong.


Fuzzywuzzy1 · 18/06/2017 09:32

Thanks everyone :-)

OP posts:

Cocklodger · 18/06/2017 09:33

Take the job OP and don't feel guilty.
So long as you think you can do it I see no problem Flowers


Jamhandprints · 18/06/2017 09:33

Well, lots of people look up common interview questions online and practice. Or ask someone who does a similar role for advice. You and your friend did cross a line but i think it depends how common the questions were and whether the job involves vulnerable people. If they were normal questions and nobody at risk then... who cares, just enjoy it! Some people make fake cvs and lie at interview and dont bat an eyelid.


Whatsforu · 18/06/2017 09:34

I don't think people realise the difficulty when faced with being consistently rubbish at interview. You could have a person who says all the right things at interview but can't cut it when it comes down to the job. Sounds like you are more than capable or your friend would not have recommended you. Just work hard and think no more of it.


AguacateMaduro · 18/06/2017 09:34

I'm job-hunting, in Ireland, so it's a bit different and I've come to the same conclusion that it is not what you know but who you know. You sound like you've been looking a good while and you've sent off hundreds of applications (as I have) and maybe now it's just your turn. Your path crossed the path of an acquaintance in the job hunting/recruiting crossroads.

Take it.

I am waiting for a break too.


EllaHen · 18/06/2017 09:35

You networked.

What you are feeling is called Imposter Syndrome. Try to shake it off and prove yourself wrong by doing a great job.


LedaP · 18/06/2017 09:36

I think it was cheating.

Wrong is harder to define. Lots of people do this. I have been coached when going for promotions. But no one i know would ever give the exact questions and tell me what to say.

Every interview i have been in or done has a list of about 20 questions that you pick from so that no one can predict exactly which ones will be asked.

In these situations there is always a loser. So someone will have lost out because you had so much help.

On the other hand there is nothing to say that person would have been better at the job than you.

You need to make sure you excel in this role. If not this will backfire on you and your friend.

I have to say i wouldn't have given you the answers. I would have coached you. I also wouldnt be happy of i picked up on the fact that my friend manipulated me. But its hard to work out wether you did manipulate her or just be honest.

Make sure you never tell anyone at work what she did to help you.


NavyandWhite · 18/06/2017 09:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jpclarke · 18/06/2017 09:36

My dh is hunting for a new at the moment and from what I can gather this kind of thing goes on all the time. People seem to get jobs based on who they know these days, not what you know.


Temporaryanonymity · 18/06/2017 09:37

She definitely should not have done that. How did she get the questions?

What she could have done is to decide what sort of questions would be asked and given you examples. Or, the organisation might (stupidly I think) ask the same questions each time meaning you were probably given no more of an advantage than an internal candidate.

Did she definitely have the questions or just a really good insight into the role and what questions might be asked? that makes a key difference IMO.

That said, put it behind you now and don't tell anyone what you think she did. It could make her working life very difficult.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?