Should I take the job when I cheated to get it

[Fuzzywuzzy1]

Name changed.

I'm rubbish at interviews and had failed at over 7 over 6 months.

I had a job coming up and I knew there was a friend of a friend who could help me. I admit I was manipulative. I gave her a bit of a sob story about how I was so depressed I couldn't get a job (it was true though). Knowing she would put a good word in for me.

So she told the hiring manager I was brilliant and the person she wanted to get the job etc. She worked for the same department previously and was very well respected so this personal recommendation mattered. But while it helps there is a 'merit' based system so while it's not point based it's an overall mark for your answer.

So the friend found out the questions beforehand for me and rang me to give me them and then sat down with me the following week and told me what to say for each one.

When the day of the interview came I obviously excelled as I knew the questions and answers. There was one question I didn't know but gave a good answer anyway.

I got the job and was delighted. I am qualified for the job and competent but I'm so so rubbish at interviews.

As my start date goes nearer I my excitement has gone.

I cheated.

I would not have known the answers without help and had a HUGE advantage over the other candidates. I don't think I would be sacked if found out and there's no way they could prove it anyway but I just feel bad.

Like I've not got the job on merit.

But then loads of people get jobs because of who they know every day.

So maybe I should forgive myself.

AIBU to feel really guilty?

I wonder what jobs / industries all the outraged people in this thread are in. I would have wondered even harder 15 years ago when I was struggling to get anywhere by just working hard and trying my best. Are there really pockets of the world that you can deal with like a studious school girl? And where are they, and how do you get into them? For me, making the transition from being a studious school girl to an adult with a bit of hustle was incredibly tough. Bizarrely (you all think) despite making that transition just enough to have a sort of career, I actually have a reputation in my industry for integrity. I guess it's all relative.

I am serious about wondering what jobs you all work in. Also - are you protected in them against unfair dealing? Are you safe and secure or can you get kicked out because senior management changes and the new guy doesn't like clever women, people from your old company, etc?

What difference does that make?

Being coached for interviews, making some contacts, getting advice, asking someone to put a good word is one thing. Manipulating someone else into giving you the answers and then writing out exactly what you should say Is cheating. It crosses the line.

The op was going to the interview knowing she couldnt answer questions. Weirdly, in a short space of time, she says she has got herself up to speed. So she could have simply done that. Rather than cheating.

My job is as fairly well protected as it can be. No one can ever say what will happen in the future.

I have managed to build a damn good career, pass interviews and assesments and never had to cheat.

@AntiGrinch We're not talking about the cutthroat world of business here. I've worked for one of the world's biggest law firms, a big insurance company and a large bank - I know about corporate subterfuge, about preferential treatment in interviews and the power of networking. I'd have no problem with OP having got the list of questions beforehand - that's just good networking and resourcefulness. The problem is that someone else gave her the answers. That's not resourceful, it's cheating. It's a bit pathetic. And it shows that she's not capable of doing the job.

Agreed, Saiman. Imagine the OP had written an AIBU that went: "I recently went for a job interview. I was well qualified for it and knew I could do it. The job went to someone else, however, and later I found out that the winning candidate had been given both the questions and answers beforehand by an employee. AIBU to think this is cheating?"

I wonder if people would have given the same answers ("YABU! This is perfectly fine!") or whether they would have been outraged for the OP.

Meh. The opposite happened to me: someone on the interview panel told me a key question beforehand. They gave the job to someone newly qualified who cost more than a third less to hire.

Take the job. Employers are out for what they can get and wouldn't recognise your honesty if you hadn't looked at the questions.

There is a huge difference between approaching someone in a relevant field of work and saying 'I'm interviewing for a role in X next week, what are the hot topics at the moment that might come up in an interview?', and 'I'm interviewing for a role at X next week, can I see the questions for the interview and can you coach me through the answers I should give?'

The first example is using your initiative, the second is cheating.

How did your friend come to have the questions? Are they standard and always asked or part of a list of questions used for all jobs. Or had she got them through bad means?

If you ever fall out with your friend then she has the power to get you sacked. I wouldn't put myself in such a vulnerable position where someone has that hold over me. If you were ever caught it might result in an automatic dismissal, well it would in my old workplace.

To be fair, Disordered, OP's friend has also put herself in a very vulnerable position here - arguably even more so: the OP, after all, wasn't working for the firm at the time whereas the friend obviously was. As a manager, I'd have much more beef with the friend's actions. So, unless friend is tremendously stupid / looking to change careers, it's not that big a risk speaking from a strictly pragmatic POV.