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Original poster

Should I take the job when I cheated to get it

309 replies

Fuzzywuzzy1 · 18/06/2017 09:22

Name changed.

I'm rubbish at interviews and had failed at over 7 over 6 months.

I had a job coming up and I knew there was a friend of a friend who could help me. I admit I was manipulative. I gave her a bit of a sob story about how I was so depressed I couldn't get a job (it was true though). Knowing she would put a good word in for me.

So she told the hiring manager I was brilliant and the person she wanted to get the job etc. She worked for the same department previously and was very well respected so this personal recommendation mattered. But while it helps there is a 'merit' based system so while it's not point based it's an overall mark for your answer.

So the friend found out the questions beforehand for me and rang me to give me them and then sat down with me the following week and told me what to say for each one.

When the day of the interview came I obviously excelled as I knew the questions and answers. There was one question I didn't know but gave a good answer anyway.

I got the job and was delighted. I am qualified for the job and competent but I'm so so rubbish at interviews.

As my start date goes nearer I my excitement has gone.

I cheated.

I would not have known the answers without help and had a HUGE advantage over the other candidates. I don't think I would be sacked if found out and there's no way they could prove it anyway but I just feel bad.

Like I've not got the job on merit.

But then loads of people get jobs because of who they know every day.

So maybe I should forgive myself.

AIBU to feel really guilty?

OP posts:
OhWellNeverMindEh · 18/06/2017 10:07

Because I wonder what constitutes the line crossing, the feeding of the answers from friend? If so, then really the friend is in the wrong?

Stanstan · 18/06/2017 10:08

We have whole parts of our job market where the help you got wouldn't even register. Who you know matters more - happily you know the what you know it too so will thrive - go for it

CauliflowerSqueeze · 18/06/2017 10:09

For me that cheating went beyond what is OK. It's fine for someone to put in a good word for you, but to access the interview questions and then have someone prep you for them is awful. How would you feel if you applied and bust a gut in your application and interview just to find out that someone else had got the position dishonestly?

I'm quite surprised nearly everyone here is fine with this. In an exam situation would everyone be fine with it? "Oh yes well my child managed to access the GCSE maths paper early and we coached him through it all so he managed to get a 9!" "Oh good for him!" Doubt it.

pringlecat · 18/06/2017 10:10

What sort of questions were they? If they were competency based questions ("tell me a time when you demonstrated X quality") and your friend helped coach you into giving suitable answers based on her knowledge of what you've done, then it doesn't sound terrible.

It's a different case if the questions were along the lines of "Answer this quadratic equation in 2 minutes, go" and you were fed the answers.

OhWellNeverMindEh · 18/06/2017 10:11

Interviews are a mine field. I've been for many and I think only failed at 2. I'm brilliant at interview and in 90% of cases been brilliant at the job. If I'd not been a good interviewee I would never have stood a chance.

Who is 100% honest at interview? Even when integrity is a massive part of the role? I'm prepared to stand corrected but I'd be surprised if anybody is.

woollychimp · 18/06/2017 10:11

Just go for it - if you feel you're qualified and competent then go for it. I know people who have lied about their qualifications to get jobs, and gone on to be good at those jobs.

Orlantina · 18/06/2017 10:12

I've had 7 interviews over the last 3 weeks - for very similar roles. Most of the questions have been very predictable and there's been little difference in the questions asked - just variations on a theme.

But you've got the job - and yes, interviews are often good at recruiting people who are good at interviews. The real test will come when you do the job.

ThanksMsMay · 18/06/2017 10:13

Obviu It was cheating and unfair, the other applicants probably needed the work too! However as that person really tried to help you I would personally just make sure you do a fabulous job so it doesn't reflect badly on her

ArchieStar · 18/06/2017 10:15

You used your initiative and every available resource to get that job. Now prove your worthy of it.

This!!

ArchieStar · 18/06/2017 10:15

Oh and best of luck in your new job OP! Flowers

claraelsa · 18/06/2017 10:15

I don't think you should have done it - or rather the friend of a friend shouldn't have done it, you didn't ask her to get you the questions.

As long as you can do the job then it'll be fine go along there and give it your best shot and forget about what the friend of a friend did, it's in the past now.

Witchend · 18/06/2017 10:16

I doubt a friend of a friend would know that the Op was good at the job, so I don't think you can excuse it on that.
It's not using initiative/preparing etc any more than sneaking into the teacher's room to get a sneaky look at an exam paper is.

However the OP didn't ask for that, so I think the guilt would be on the person who gave the questions not her.

OhWellNeverMindEh · 18/06/2017 10:17

You know what, I do feel for the other interviewees, but I've been for interviews where somebody internal already had the post, it's not the same thing but outcome is the same.

I've also been for interviews where I've known the interviewer (previous role) and I got he job because of this. Not because I was great at my job (which I was) but we were mates.

I dunno, I keep thinking of the bottom line, is it worth losing out to this job for and I think not. My mum is the high priestess of moral ground and I think she would even say take it. (I'm just surmising though)

CurlyhairedAssassin · 18/06/2017 10:17

Cauliflower: "I'm quite surprised nearly everyone here is fine with this. In an exam situation would everyone be fine with it? "Oh yes well my child managed to access the GCSE maths paper early and we coached him through it all so he managed to get a 9!" "Oh good for him!" Doubt it."

You can't compare the situations. Once you have the gcse certificate you have it and aren't tested again. In a job situation you are still "tested" past the interview day, ie if you're not up to the job then you'll be let go.

If OP is competent and does well for the company then they'll be happy. If she is rubbish at the job she will be sacked and the experience will tell her something. However it sounds like this will all work out fine.

OP, as others have said, this type of thing goes on more than you think. In the old days you might not even have had to have an interview. You'd just be recommended by someone and go and meet the boss over lunch or something to see if your face fitted.

I wouldn't worry about it.

CauliflowerSqueeze · 18/06/2017 10:18

"My child got a place at Cambridge!"

"Mine applied too but didn't do well at the interview - he tried really hard to prepare but some of the questions came a little out of left field apparently."

"Oh well what we did is ask someone at Cambridge that we know to email all the interview questions and then come over to the house and coach our son through them all. So that happened and the interview went well and now he has a place!"

"Oh well excellent- I call that really good preparation and lots of people do that kind of thing - what a brilliant idea! imagine how much better he will have performed knowing exactly what all the questions would be and being able to answer them all perfectly, having been coached through the whole thing! He must feel so great!"

LedaP · 18/06/2017 10:18

Even in competency based interviews you can give someone the answers.

You can tell them exactly what they want to hear. The exact details of whst needs to be covered and write the answers. As op saod her friend did.

OhWellNeverMindEh · 18/06/2017 10:18

Op, you there or are you out shopping for new work outfits????

Blimey01 · 18/06/2017 10:18

Take the job and don't give it another thought.
I've seen lots of people progress because of who they know not what they know. Let it work in your favour this time.
You say your competent and can do the job so go for it. Make them glad they hired you. Good luck. Xx

troodiedoo · 18/06/2017 10:19

You did what you had to do. You need a bit of luck with job hunting and you got some. Congratulations. Hope it goes well.

CauliflowerSqueeze · 18/06/2017 10:20

Of course it's comparable Curly. It's using dishonest means to get yourself an unfair advantage over other applicants. It's absolutely reprehensible. It makes a total farce of the whole thing.

Orlantina · 18/06/2017 10:21

You can tell them exactly what they want to hear

This. I've done this - it's not what I do in real life - I am not that organised and am a bit crap at priorities, easily distracted but I can give an interview answer to that question about "How do you manage your priorities, organise yourself, handle difficult situations, deadlines etc"

How do they know if you're bullshitting or not?

They find out when you start the job.

Orlantina · 18/06/2017 10:23

One thing that's annoyed me about interviews at the moment

"Do you think this has been a fair recruitment process?"

How do you answer that if you don't know what's gone on behind the scenes?

Salmotrutta · 18/06/2017 10:23

I'd feel bad for the other candidates who might also have prepared as best they could but without the "inside" knowledge.

They might have been struggling to get a job too and be great at what they do.

Really unfair and dishonest in my opinion.

WhatsGoingOnEh · 18/06/2017 10:25

It's FINE. If anyone has been a bit naughty in this, it's your friend for giving you the questions. But as everyone else has said, she wouldn't have done that unless she thought you were an excellent candidate.

I also 💓 the idea of donating some of your first salary to a charity to say thanks to the universe for the leg up! Maybe there's a lovely charity that helps people back into work. Give them 10% of your first pay packet.

Good luck in your new job. Forget about this. It's really not worth any more angst.

Missingthepoint · 18/06/2017 10:26

Take the job. Put your whole effort into it. Don't ever mention to anyone that someone inside gave you help. But be careful you never get on their wrong side and make them regret getting you the questions. If it ever came out you could both be fired. It was a lack of integrity on their part. They chose to help you, they could have refused or pretended they had been unable to access the information. Also think, if they are doing this for you, what other regulations are they prepared to ignore?

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