WIBU to name my daughter my cousin's name, when my aunt doesn't want me to?

[PartyPooper16]

Not looking for opinions on the name.

My daughter is due in 3 weeks and we both absolutely love Madison/Maddie.

My cousin is called Maddison/Maddie. She is now almost 12. She has ASD and my aunt thinks she will struggle with the idea of them having the same name.

We are all really close and I'd hate for this to come between us, but we really can't agree on any other name and just love it.

My aunt has said "do what you want, but I honestly would rather you didn't".

WIBU?

@Nocabbageinmyeye no I said that was Madeleine.

The only thing YABU about is that you even bothered to ask her. You should have just announced the baby's name after she was born.

My cousin and his wife used my oldest son's name for their first child. After she said I really hope you don't mind. Again whilst we are "friendly" on social media and chat a bit on there we only see each other once or so a year. So it doesn't matter! And I really didn't mind. In fact there were 3 boys at his nursery with the same name! You have no control over what others call their kids so why should they feel they can control your choice.

If your close family are in regular contact with your cousin, the two little girls are going to have be differentiated somehow. It'll probably be "Big Maddie" and "Little Maddie" but one of them could become "Short Maddie" or "Fat Maddie" or "Mad Maddie" - not even necessarily to your face.

Maddison is a lovely name, but I think it's better all round if you pick a different name, and one which isn't so close to home. Sorry!

I wouldn't have asked and just chosen the name. I'd never choose a name I only liked.
There are three Charlie's in my family. It's easy to work out who's who.

I'm clearly asking because I don't want to do the wrong thing

TBF you already have an answer to your question, from your aunt, but you don't like the answer so have asked strangers on the internet. If enough people agree with you it won't actually change how your aunt or your cousin feels so aren't you really just searching for justification to be selfish?

Like others here normally I'd say go for whatever name you want but in this case I think it's a bit different. Glad you decided to go for another name

Honestly if it's you're favourite name I'd just use it. It's not like you're naming your dd the same as another baby of similar age / generation. People are far to precious about names at times. Your daughter your choice.
And it is a lovely name. X

How can you only like one name in the entire world-full of names?
Genuinely, don't get it.

Fnd another name and perhaps use it as a middle name. Are you definitely having a girl?

Name her what you want! 😊 Whilst being civil is important, naming your child is a big deal and it's ok that you out your feelings first!

*put. Not out.

Have either of you asked your cousin what she thinks, maybe she'd be delighted to have a baby called after her or maybe like her mum says it would cause confusion.

The thing is though if you're a very close family, everyone will find a way to differentiate about which Madison they're speaking about, so you risk your baby been know as baby/little Madison/Maddie or similar, it also risks her cousin been referred to as big Madison/Maddie. Neither been a nice option.

I haven't read the thread (sorry) but have you asked your cousin? If I'd been asked at that age if it was OK to give a new baby the same name as me I would have been so proud and delighted!

Sorry just saw pringlecat made same point as me earlier about big/little.

You should call your daughter what you want. It's got nothing to do with your aunt, unfortunately for her and your cousin.

Call your daughter Maddison/Maddie.

They will both get over it.

I would not let a soul alive tell me what to name my own child!

I can't believe some people are telling you to not name your child with the name you want!

I wouldn't do it

For all of the reasons the aunt is concerned about but also because it's shit having two family members with the same name (speaking from experience). There are countless names out there; you'll find another you love.

I disagree. The OP should call her baby what she wants to call her. Her aunt is being unreasonable.

We have one name in or family that an uncle has, his son has, and my cousin called her son too.

Most families I know have more than one Paul or David or Steven or Sophie or Hannah.

A name doesn't BELONG to someone you know.

Molly? Melissa?

Megan or Allison?

My niece has a younger cousin with the same name as a teenager it really dented her self esteem, at 13 suddenly she was big xxxx, even now at family events she gets really upset especially as she suffers with weight problems and has been previously anorexic. It was not that they had the same name it was that her named changed and she was too self conscious to mention it.

I'd pick a different name

I imagine "Baby Maddie" or "Little Maddie" will heartily resent this label too. Around her third birthday the latest, probably earlier.

How about Marigold? Nn Mari?

Or Molly? Maggie is lovely too. My dd went through a stage of wanting to be called Maggie.