WIBU to name my daughter my cousin's name, when my aunt doesn't want me to?

[PartyPooper16]

Not looking for opinions on the name.

My daughter is due in 3 weeks and we both absolutely love Madison/Maddie.

My cousin is called Maddison/Maddie. She is now almost 12. She has ASD and my aunt thinks she will struggle with the idea of them having the same name.

We are all really close and I'd hate for this to come between us, but we really can't agree on any other name and just love it.

My aunt has said "do what you want, but I honestly would rather you didn't".

WIBU?

I would find another name. You asked, and you have your answer.

I don't understand why people are saying it would get confusing. Does everyone not know anyone with the same first name?

Do people really get confused if 2 individuals have the same name?

OP use the name. It's a name and no-one 'owns' a name.

Call your baby girl Madison, and your entire family will probably have you down as selfish and unsympathetic, not just your aunt! She knows her daughter will struggle, and she is asking you not to cause difficulties.

People will look at your beautiful baby and their thoughts will go to that other girl with the same name, and that you were insensitive to your aunt.

I'd use it.

How would it cause issues?

Op said the original Madison in the family has ASD, and the aunt knows it will confuse her.

Do you think you want Madison just because it's familiar to you as a child's name, op?

My uncle and cousin have the same name (not father and son, uncle and nephew), I'm not sure it was an issue.

But I wanted to call my son the same name as my DH's nephew and my DH said it would be too confusing. So we called him something else.

There are thousands of names, I am sure you could find something else. And you can use your cousin's name as a second name.

I come from a family where there are family names and 'big yikes' 'little yikes' etc.... I like it for us but in this case where you know that your aunt whom you love and presumably respect would rather you chose a different name for the sake of her daughter( your cousin) I really don't think it would be at all reasonable for you to chose Madison. There are loads of lovely names ... just cross it off your list and move on

I think the fact that the little girl has ASD would make a huge difference. The aunt knows her own daughter and if she feels that it would confuse her, then I would respect her wishes. I know my youngest wouldn't like it and would find it confusing. You know that at least once her little girl would be differentiated from yours as the Maddie with ASD. I've already had my youngest described like like to tell her apart her from another girl with the same name.That wouldn't be fair.

Why did you bother asking if you're just going to use it anyway?

Thumb - then that puts the aunt in the position of saying yes when she knows her dd might change her mind later, ot saying no and feeling like she's being mean. And she's already said no to op. Might cause a problem with the Aunt then, having her answer challenged again, as well as the dd. That's what I meant by interfering. It would be like op is changing her strategy and manipulating the situation to get the answer she wants no matter what.

Why don't you ask your cousin for her opinion?

I wouldn't, but only because it could get confusing in later years.

Yeah true. Just looking for options.

I wouldn't do it. It'll cause bad feeling and it'll be confusing. My brother is a (say) Edward and so is my uncle... and so was his uncle. It gets rather confusing... But it's family tradition so there's likely to be another little 'Edward' sometime soon for the next generation.
I am wondering why you asked if you weren't going to really take on board the answer.

You're not being at all unreasonable, nobody owns a name, and you can call your DC whatever name you wish.

Those thoughts can console you, when you can see that it's upset your aunt, and potentially caused a rift between you.

Of course you can't use the name.
Since I was a little girl I have loved the name Georgia. Couldn't imagine anything else. But then OH's cousin was called Georgia. So we picked a different name. It's not difficult.

Don't do it. There are thousands of names you can choose from. I have a granddad, dad, brother, two uncles and a cousin all called Robert and it's a pain in the arse

In a word don't.

There are millions of names out there. Don't sour a good relationship because of baby brain/pregnancy selfishness. You will be the one who ends up getting slated in the family for being selfish and quite rightly too.

The child has ASD. You really wonder why they don't want another girl with the same name without ASD? How can you be so insensitive?

Yabu, i wouldnt if a close family member had a name i liked. There are loads of lovely girl names out there

Why don't you ask your cousin for her opinion?

She already has!

If you're close, then I would choose naother name.

Under ordinary circumstances I would say it shouldn't cause any issues etc etc.

But given the older girl's SN it might just be one of those things that make her already complicated and stressful life just a little bit more complicated and stressful. Is it worth it? I probably wouldn't think so.

I wouldn't do it tbh.
And I have the same name as my mum's cousin, we were always "big dodo" and "little dodo", which was fine when I was little but got more confusing when I grew up, as I'm now a good 8 inches taller than her!
Your aunt sounds nice, so she'll probably be gracious if you do it, but they'll never forgive you really.
Also I agree with PPs that madison isn't a great name anyway and will date badly.