ever So droll. I think you are quite young, and thus have GCSEs. In some posts your syntax is quite sophisticated and in others you make daft mistakes, such as 'me and my Mum', as opposed to 'my Mum and I', and your repeated use of 'prey tell', which is completely the wrong use of prey; you actually mean pray.
I make no comment on your educational attainment, which from your syntax is rather above your average 16 year old, (and as I am hip deep in GCSE examining at the moment, I am well acquainted with the syntax and spelling of the average 16 year old), but the facility with which you twist things is similar to one of those clever kids who think they will get away with bamboozling the examiner under the bullshit baffles brains principle.
Which part of the SW, Bristol? Exeter? Plymouth? I bet you're not as far down as my bit unless you are really Candy Atherton?