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To not have done DD's hair for her exam?

210 replies

Stellaaa2017 · 14/06/2017 12:00

DD is 18 and had an A-Level exam this morning. I did her hair in a high poneytail all the way until the end of year 11. She was self-conscious and wanted it like her friends but could never do it as well as I did, so I had no problem doing it. However, I did say for further education she can do it and she managed to get it in a similar style for the start of sixth form.

This morning it wasn't going well and I admit it definitely wasn't. However, she did get it up many times with it looking ok but claimed there was just too many bumps, so kept taking it out. I admit it didn't look as good as normal but we all have bad hair days!!

She wanted me to do it. WIU not to? It's not like she didn't get her hair up or anything like that. What will she do at uni?

OP posts:

ExplodingCarrots · 14/06/2017 12:03

I wouldn't have. I'd keep making her to do it herself , not out of meanness , but so she can practice and perfect it herself.


lougle · 14/06/2017 12:04

It takes 2 minutes and she had an exam to go to. It wasn't really about the high pony tail, was it? She was stressed. Would it have hurt to do something to help her relieve her stress?

My DH does all sorts of things that I can strictly do for myself, as I do for him.


SaucyJack · 14/06/2017 12:04

Yeah, I reckon YABU. It's a stressful day for her. She probably just wanted a bit of TLC from her Mummy.

Even if she is 18!


harderandharder2breathe · 14/06/2017 12:05

She's stressed about her exam, I would've done it for her

Yes she needs to get used to doing her own hair but I wouldn't pick the fight on the morning of her exam.


alltouchedout · 14/06/2017 12:05

As it was the morning of an A Level exam I would have done it on the grounds that anything I could do to de stress her should be done and there will be plenty of opportunities in the future to teach her the great life lesson of doing her own hair.


GemmaB78 · 14/06/2017 12:05

I should imagine she was all fingers and thumbs this morning due to her imminent exam. Under those circumstances, perhaps you were a little unkind.


DartmoorDoughnut · 14/06/2017 12:06



OuchBollocks · 14/06/2017 12:06

I think you were a bit unreasonable. It's just a nice thing to do when someone's stressed. My mum would do my hair if I asked, and I'm a capable 35 year old.


NellieFiveBellies · 14/06/2017 12:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OddBoots · 14/06/2017 12:06

I can't imagine still doing DDs hair beyond about the age of 12 but I think with an A Level exam that day I would do it, even if I didn't normally do it, just to set her off in a positive frame of mind.


Loopytiles · 14/06/2017 12:07



TheDropBear · 14/06/2017 12:07

You were being a bit mean. It's not unreasonable to say she should have to do her hair now but considering she had an exam and was probably stressed it would have been nice to offer to do it for today.


FleetwoodMacDonalds · 14/06/2017 12:07

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. The last thing needed on an exam day is unnecessary added stress, even if it only involves her hair.

There is a (minor problem), an easy solution (you helping her). Why say no?

If it was an everyday or frequent occurrence I'd agree with you, but give the girl a break on her stressful day!


ElspethFlashman · 14/06/2017 12:07

She was stressed and needed a bit of petting. I'd have done it that once, given the context.


bookwormnerd · 14/06/2017 12:09

With her exam today I would have done for her. She will have been stressed as it is and anything you can do to make day easier would have helped her go more relaxed into exam


BigSandyBalls2015 · 14/06/2017 12:09

Ask yourself if you would have helped a friend out with their hair this morning, if they were struggling and wanted help?

If the answer is yes then why is your DD any different? I think you've been a bit mean.


NavyandWhite · 14/06/2017 12:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HibiscusIsland · 14/06/2017 12:11

On the day of an A level? Yes i would. I remember throwing up with nerves before an A level. Normal rules don't apply.


notanevilstepmother · 14/06/2017 12:11

I think she wanted her mum to do her hair because she was worried about her exam. I can understand you don't want to be doing her hair everyday now she is older, but maybe make an exception for this kind of thing?

You will miss her when she moves out, make the most of her time with you.


AperolOnIce · 14/06/2017 12:12

YWBU and tbh I wouldn't be surprised if this is the kind of thing she'll remember for a long long time and not in a good way.


rightsofwomen · 14/06/2017 12:13

I've done all sorts of things for my A-level son over the past few weeks that I wouldn't normally. I can't help him get the stuff in his brain, but I can show him I'm trying to make things a bit easier for him
e.g. put the bottom sheet on his high sleeper, get him breakfast of his choice on exam days.

He can do both of these things quite well for himself and we both know that, but this is a difficult time.

So, yes I think you were being a bit mean.


notanevilstepmother · 14/06/2017 12:13

At uni she will have female flat mates so I wouldn't worry about that.


PersianCatLady · 14/06/2017 12:14

She wanted me to do it. WIU not to?
Any other day I would have said that you shouldn't have done it for her but on a day when she has an important exam, I would have done anything to make sure my child left the house in the best possible frame of mind to sit an exam.

So basically YABU, sorry.


upperlimit · 14/06/2017 12:15

I think you were mean. I get clumsy when I'm stressed too and it wouldn't have taken you long.


Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 14/06/2017 12:15

A self confidence boost would have worked wonders before an exam. .
Ywbu. .

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