To not have done DD's hair for her exam?

[Stellaaa2017]

DD is 18 and had an A-Level exam this morning. I did her hair in a high poneytail all the way until the end of year 11. She was self-conscious and wanted it like her friends but could never do it as well as I did, so I had no problem doing it. However, I did say for further education she can do it and she managed to get it in a similar style for the start of sixth form.

This morning it wasn't going well and I admit it definitely wasn't. However, she did get it up many times with it looking ok but claimed there was just too many bumps, so kept taking it out. I admit it didn't look as good as normal but we all have bad hair days!!

She wanted me to do it. WIU not to? It's not like she didn't get her hair up or anything like that. What will she do at uni?

Read the previous posts people OP said she's 11!

OP says she is 18 and it is in bold

11 and doing her A' Levels, Joannegrady

Amusing you telling people to read the thread. OP's daughter is 18 now.

She has an A-Level exam, do you really think she's 11?

I am middle-aged, 4 kids, and my sister still does my hair when she is around when I am going out. What's wrong with that?
How much money do people spend at the hairdresser to have their hair up for a special occasion. Being kind doesn't mean you treat someone like a baby.

It was the morning before an exam when she was probably feeling stressed. Why on earth would you not be willing to help her.

She was jittery. She wanted things to be right for the exam. That included her hair.
Any other day I would have said don't do it. On a day that's so important and when she wants a bit of reassurance? Mean not to.

Mine is at uni and 20 now, I put her hair in French plaits for ski-ing because she can't and she asks me.

I actually don't see the issue, she puts luminiser and bronzer on my face because I am too heavy handed.

YABU, Very unkind a ridiculous not to help her on the miring of an exam. Seriously!

My DD is 17 and often comes for her hair doing. She likes Dutch plaits, I can do Dutch plaits, I can't see the issue. It's five minutes out of my day to make her smile.

I assume everyone who is bitching about this never goes to the hairdresser? I mean, you can cut your own hair with the kitchen scissors right? And why would you need someone else to wash and blow dry it? Cos you know, you're and adult who is perfectly capable of doing it themselves right? (Of course, there will be a long list of reasons why it's different 🙄)

What an awful mother!

I think it's more that it's a basic ponytail and she's 18. Not a complicated 'up do' or french plaits, potentially requiring assistance (can be tricky to do your own).

joannegrady90 "Read the previous posts people OP said she's 11!"

Read the first line of the OP, Joanne. She's 18.

It obviously wasn't about a bump - it was about the fact she was terrified in the face of a really important exam and wanted a bit of looking after!

What is done is done now - unless there are bigger issues this will soon be brushed over (no pun intended). I hope her exam has gone well and you can give her a big hug later.

It was nothing to do with her hair. She wanted her mum to reassure her.

I would definitely have done it for my daughter, however old she was, especially before an exam. As someone said, if you'd do it for a friend why not for your daughter?

I would take my hair down and start again if it's bumpy.

I never wear my hair up because I just can't do it nicely, would love to tho, especially in this weather.

I can only wear it up if SIL is round to help me. YABU. As someone else has said though you clearly don't think so, so our comments are pointless.

This one wasn't really about the hair... you were mean. As if it would have hurt you today to have helped her out before her exam.

Bit unfair to say I don't think I am, I have clearly said I was obviously in the wrong then, making your comments worth it.

I know it's frustrating, Stellaaa2017. My DD3 will get very stressed if she has bumps in her hair and will pull it out and want it put up again. But she really can't help her perception of it. It looks terrible to her when she sees what to me seems like a small bump. To her it's like a mountain peak!

YWBVU not to help her on the morning of an exam when she probably really tense and stressing out. If I were you, I'd apologise when she gets in later.

She was worried and stressed, and you could have just calmed her down and shown her a bit of love, and maybe even that 2 minutes could have been a nice time between the two of you as she prepared for her exam.

Nobody's a perfect mother though, and maybe you can just take other opportunities to help her and be nice to her when you can.

It was a tough call and I think you have accepted you called it wrong. Make it up to her and to yourself. Hope she did ok. I hope you do ok waiting to hear from her.

Yes I agree you did get it wrong. She was stressed for a specific reason this morning and wanted comfort from her mum. Doesn't matter if she's 18.

OP, sometimes when we are stressed we focus on the little things to distract out minds from the big things. Hence the stress about the bump. Or maybe she was having a thought pattern that went along the lines of everything needing to be perfect.
Having my hair brushed by someone else is a very soothing feeling. My DD, who is 9 and cannot yet brush her own hair reliably, often brushes mine for me.
It's a bonding thing.
Make ammends, apologise, explain and then offer to do her hair for her next eam.