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How many mini-tasks do you do before 8am?

513 replies

m0j1to · 08/06/2017 13:19

Kind of following on from the "mental load" thread, I think lots of women are in the position of having effectively done the equivalent of maybe half a days work before they even leave the house "of a morning"?

This would be a typical weekday morning for me -

5.30. Get up. Feed and deal with cats / litter trays. Get showered and ready.

6.00 Iron and "de-fluff" 4 school uniforms (hazard of 3 white Persian cats Confused). Lay out all clothes for DC
Make sure PE kits are in bags.
Check correct homework is in bags etc.

6.30 Take DH coffee in bed and wake him up. Wake everyone up. Start making breakfast, unloading dishwasher and whatever else. Up and down stairs in the meantime for people asking where's this and where's that and general moaning.

7.00 Serve everyone breakfast - to various specifications

7.20 DS1 and DD1 leave.
Run round and make sure bathrooms ok and no underwear etc left around the place, beds made etc (particularly on days cleaner is coming). Put some laundry in. Make beds.

7.30 DH leaves. Tidy kitchen and see if I can get DD2 and 3 (twins) to do 15 mins music practice if they didn't do it the night before.
Do whatever hairstyles of the day on both.

7.55 Leave for school run.

This is NOT meant to be a moan or sound like a martyr complex because after this, my time is more or less my own until 3pm. But AIBU to think that actually most women do a multitude of such mini-tasks every morning which other members of the household are barely aware of?

You may well ask why I don't do a lot of this stuff in the evenings and I do try to, but the evenings are busy too with dinner, homework, baths and bedtimes. DS1 not in bed until 10 and I'm generally too tired by then.

OP posts:

NerrSnerr · 08/06/2017 13:24

I'm on maternity leave but my morning looks like
7am, breastfeed baby and do nappy if awake
7.15. Get dressed and go downstairs and get toddler's clothes ready while husband wakes her up
7.30. Chase toddler round and get her dressed
7.45. Brush teeth, do hair and makeup while husband does toddler shoes, hair and teeth
8am- Nursery run

On none nursery days i do nothing, occasionally hang washing out but I'm usually sleeping or knitting.

I have easy mornings at the moment.


InDubiousBattle · 08/06/2017 13:24

Before 8 am? Very little. Dp generally gets up with the kids and I stay in bed until 7.30 ish. Maybe get a shower and little wipe around the bathroom, put towels aways etc. If it's a day i'm getting up with the kids I will give them their breakfast....that's about it!


jimijack · 08/06/2017 13:25

Blimey, how can you be bothered with all that!
I get up, shower and get ready for work.
Kids get their own bag and stuff together, dh makes a sandwich, son puts his own sandwich box together.
Dh empties the dishwasher.
Out the door to drop kids off then work.
Nothing gets defluffed, we have no pets, no minimal stuff in this house Grin


Doodlebug5 · 08/06/2017 13:26

Get up get dressed

Leave for work


SecretNetter · 08/06/2017 13:28

My morning is currently - get up at 6am, change ds3's nappy and feed him. Spend next 12 hours sitting on the sofa with him attached to my boob whilst trying to stay awake. Dh does all the morning stuff before work.


bonzo77 · 08/06/2017 13:30

Shower / dress me. Dress toddler and preschooler. Breakfast 3 kids and me. Emily dishwasher, put in washing. Make my bed. Tidy kitchen. Probably change toddler's nappy after his morning poo. Feed cat and let her out. Quick tidy if cleaner coming.


allegretto · 08/06/2017 13:31

A lot of that seems to be due to cats! I don't check PE kits or homework (kids have to do that - if they forget it's on their heads). Don't make coffee for dh. Kids choose their own clothes - with varying degrees of success but I let them get on with it.


dementedma · 08/06/2017 13:32

Sounds like a lot of unnecessary work. Tell dh to get up and help is your first step.
Do school bags etc as soon as they come in from school rather than late at night.
Put uniforms where cat cant sleep on them.


sirfredfredgeorge · 08/06/2017 13:34

Lots of people might do those things, but only because they choose to - you choose to iron school clothes, you choose to force music practice, you chose to own cats, you choose to serve breakfast to various specifications.

I think it's a struggle to suggest the "look how hard people work", when it's work that it wouldn't matter if it wasn't done - the rest of the family can feed themselves, the beds can remain unmade until the cleaner does it, the music practice can go undone etc.

If you're choosing to bring that load on yourself, you're also aware that you can choose not do it, that safety net is huge compared to the loads suffered by people who aren't doing the things through choice, but essential to survive.


FloralTribute · 08/06/2017 13:34

AIBU to think that actually most women do a multitude of such mini-tasks every morning which other members of the household are barely aware of?

No early morning female martyrdom or defluffing in my house. The day starts when DS (5) comes in and starts bouncing on one of our heads, shortly before seven, then we all go downstairs, DH and I make coffee and porridge/unload dishwasher/throw DS together some lunch. I usually do some reading with DS at the table while DH showers and dresses, then he hustles DS into his clothes, does his teeth, checks his schoolbag etc while I wash and dress. If it's a day when I'm working from home, DH drops DS to his childminder/breakfast club, or we both do if it's a day when I'm going in to the office.


m0j1to · 08/06/2017 13:36

The cats don't sleep on the uniforms but somehow the fluff from them seems to hover in the air and still get on clothes, particularly the black blazers.
I can't really enlist DH to help as they were "surprise cats" (i.e. a surprise to him when we came home with them).

OP posts:

DirtyChaiLatte · 08/06/2017 13:37

So all your DH does is have his coffee brought to him in bed by you, have his breakfast made for him by you, gets himself ready and heads to work?

You do EVERYTHING else?

Wow, I hope he appreciates you.


maddiemookins16mum · 08/06/2017 13:38

It sounds a little like you're waiting on them hand and foot to be honest...
Commute days -
Up at 5am.
Feed cat
Shower, dress.
Finish cold tea
Leave house at 0610.

WFH days
Up at 0610
Feed cat
Make bed
Shower, dress, make toast
Nag DD to get up.
Nag DD to eat breakfast
Clear and tidy kitchen
Put washing on
Brush through and tidy
Wave DD off to school
Think about that evening dinner - get out of freezer or chop and prepare something ready to bung in slow cooker at lunchtime
8-8.55 have coffee, go on MN, watch breakfast news.
8.55 - sit at desk, turn phone on.


WindwardCircle · 08/06/2017 13:38

Genuine question, if you're home during school hours why are you ironing and defluffing uniform at 6am? Why not do it during the day and put uniform away so the cats can't sit on it after.

Also, how old are your DC? Unless they're very small they should be making beds, sorting their own bags, getting out their own uniform, picking up their own underwear and maybe even making breakfast themselves. My DD is 9, I make her breakfast because I'm making mine at the same time, but everything else she does herself.


caffeinestream · 08/06/2017 13:40

Pfft, none of that.

Before work, all I do is the litter trays, feed the cats, feed myself/get dressed and go.


viques · 08/06/2017 13:41

Why don't your children get their own pe bags,homework and uniforms sorted. If they hung the uniforms up the cats would not hair them. Why don't they put their own clothes in the linen basket, and why would there be dirty underwear lying around in the morning, surely your kids don't sleep in their underwear?

I think you are trying too hard to be martyr mum.


HardplaceandRock · 08/06/2017 13:42

Get up shower and dress, then DS (6) gets up breakfast together, do dishes, make my bed, quick tidy round and leave at 8 to take DS to school then head to work.

DS gets himself washed and dressed after breakfast and makes his bed

DH goes to work at 5am

Clothes are looked out and bags packed the night before.


iseenodust · 08/06/2017 13:42

Not sure why you are doing all that? School bags, uniform, homework would all be night before, with DC putting homework in the bag straight after doing it.

DH leaves house before I get up.
6.45am I get up & have shower.
7.05 Wake DS. Make breakfast for us & a packed lunch if he wants one. Nag him to clean teeth !
Make myself fit to be seen in public. Pull duvet & put a wash on.
7.45 Out of the door.


NerrSnerr · 08/06/2017 13:42

Your husband could help by making his own coffee, breakfast and helping with the kids. How old are they? Are they old enough to sort themselves out?


Tomorrowillbeachicken · 08/06/2017 13:44

Not many before school run. I am NOT a morning person.


BaronessBomburst · 08/06/2017 13:45

Nothing. I get up at 8am, once DH has brought me coffee in bed.
However, I'm usually still up at 1am doing invisible stuff once everyone else is in bed. I set the table, lay out lunch boxes, sort clothes etc all the night before.
I'm a night owl.


livingthegoodlife · 08/06/2017 13:46

I get up, choose children's clothes/fetch clean uniform, open curtains in whole house, make all beds, get school bags ready. Husband helps dress toddler, serve breakfast, helps unload dishwasher. Not too bad?


Lukeandlorelai4Ever · 08/06/2017 13:46

Why can't everyone look after themselves for breakfast ?
Why don't you sort out cat trays after everyone has gone since you have the day to yourself? I can't understand why you're getting up so early.
I got up at 6.30/7am when dd comes in. Have a shower, dressed, both have our breakfast and she will get herself dressed while I get her bag ready. She's 4. Dh will get up, then I drop dd off and go to work.
I generally put a wash on or empty dishwasher and make dd bed. Dh does ours. This only adds on an extra 5/10 mins.


m0j1to · 08/06/2017 13:48

I can't do the uniforms in the day because they're wearing the blazers and skirts / trousers. I could get spares of everything but with 4 of them it just leads to more laundry and clothes to sort.
They do leave pyjamas in the bathroom floor, Even DH may well leave his underpants around and it's disrespectful to the cleaner who comes to clean, not pick up and tidy after us.

OP posts:

FineAsWeAre · 08/06/2017 13:49

I am most definitely not a morning person so I get up as late as possible, wake DS up and then get ready for work while he gets dressed and plays in his bedroom. DH feeds the kittens/ does the litter tray and gets ready for work. I take DS to the childminders and then DH takes me to work before going to work himself. DS has breakfast at the childminders and DH and I have breakfast at work so not much to do really. Try to do ironing, bags etc the day before.

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