How many mini-tasks do you do before 8am?

[m0j1to]

Kind of following on from the "mental load" thread, I think lots of women are in the position of having effectively done the equivalent of maybe half a days work before they even leave the house "of a morning"?

This would be a typical weekday morning for me -

5.30. Get up. Feed and deal with cats / litter trays. Get showered and ready.

6.00 Iron and "de-fluff" 4 school uniforms (hazard of 3 white Persian cats ). Lay out all clothes for DC
Make sure PE kits are in bags.
Check correct homework is in bags etc.

6.30 Take DH coffee in bed and wake him up. Wake everyone up. Start making breakfast, unloading dishwasher and whatever else. Up and down stairs in the meantime for people asking where's this and where's that and general moaning.

7.00 Serve everyone breakfast - to various specifications

7.20 DS1 and DD1 leave.
Run round and make sure bathrooms ok and no underwear etc left around the place, beds made etc (particularly on days cleaner is coming). Put some laundry in. Make beds.

7.30 DH leaves. Tidy kitchen and see if I can get DD2 and 3 (twins) to do 15 mins music practice if they didn't do it the night before.
Do whatever hairstyles of the day on both.

7.55 Leave for school run.

This is NOT meant to be a moan or sound like a martyr complex because after this, my time is more or less my own until 3pm. But AIBU to think that actually most women do a multitude of such mini-tasks every morning which other members of the household are barely aware of?

You may well ask why I don't do a lot of this stuff in the evenings and I do try to, but the evenings are busy too with dinner, homework, baths and bedtimes. DS1 not in bed until 10 and I'm generally too tired by then.

[maplesyruppancakes]

Most of the things you are doing are completely unnecessary. None of your children are very young, the older two can certainly organise their own uniforms, PE kits, etc and should be doing so, the 9 yr olds can do most of it themselves. How on earth are they going to learn this otherwise? You are also teaching them to disrespect you by acting as the general servant, picking up pants and even your DH's pyjamas.
I very much doubt that they are grateful for what you are doing.

[Stilllivinginazoo]

It seems op there are few morning people on this thread!

My youngest has always woken at 5am,regardless of time goes to bed.she's 9now and although plays quietly my body clock is so accostumed to s 5am start I get up
And as I am up I might as well ve doing something!!
I don't iron
I do fix my DC breakfast on school days,not at weekends
They pack own bags
Leave it on my bathroom floor I will launch it into bin(in their rooms I can just shut the door til it starts trickling out then they get rounded up to sort it)
I make pack ups as I prefer them taking something half decent for lunch.
I don't do things night before as by 7pm I am starting to turn into a pumpkin

I can't see why you are bring roasted as you aren't complaining about doing it

Personally I'd be having words dp.if he takes you for granted the DC will

[AmysTiara]

I don't get up until 7.50 so I don't do any of the stuff you said.

2 kids sort themselves out but I do the youngest ones lunchbox and fill his water bottle. That's it.

Your family sound pretty useless and I bet it's because they know you're around to sort it all out for them.

[ShatnersBassoon]

Really, your children could and should be a bit more self-sufficient. Even if you enjoy doing everyone's jobs as much as you seem to, you're not letting them learn how to tidy their own mess and organise themselves.

[KatyBerry]

GAAAHHH!

HANG THE UNIFORMS IN A CUPBOARD WHEN THEY GET IN FROM SCHOOL AND THEY WON'T GET FLUFFED ON!

And use the bonus time to do an ocado order so you don't have to go food shopping every day.
I feel like there's a hole in the space time continuum and this thread has fallen into 1958

[m0j1to]

As I said, DS1 is no trouble. I admit he has never used the washing machine, but how many kids actually have? I don't know any.

DD1 is extremely antagonistic. She is dyslexic and very bright and er.. creative, but extremely volatile and has been since day 1. I have had her seen by a psych, but it got us nowhere. I'm not sure what to do next with her because it's exhausting for everyone.

The twins are fine but they get tired.

[Freshprincess]

so Tomorrow, get up at 6. Don't iron or defluff the uniforms. See what happens (prediction, nothing).

Appreciate it's hard to deal with a child with difficult behaviour.

[SaucyJack]

"Saucy - no I don't crack open a beer. I have 2 strong coffees and go to the gym. Then I do food shopping and other shopping."

And that takes what? Hour and a 1/2 - 2 hours?

I'm wondering if I'm reading the same thread as other posters.
Your day sounds gloriously un pressured to me. I bet you're laughing all the way to Costa

[shinyredbus]

Nothing much tbh - I will bf infant from about 730-745 then come down. DH takes care of morning with toddler (breakfast) then I takenovwr changing her while DH changes son. We both take her to nursery after.

[m0j1to]

The fluff gets in the wardrobes KatyBerry!
I do Ocado, but need to get fruit, fish and things like that every day.

[caffeinestream]

I'm really shocked that grown women are happy to spend their time picking up their husbands underwear.

I think it's massively disrespectful to you that he can't even be bothered to clean up after himself, tbh.

[m0j1to]

DH is not that bad, he's just not a morning person. He gets more involved on weekends when he has time.

[caffeinestream]

Of course he has time, he just chooses to stay in bed so he'll get his coffee and breakfast brought to him.

And it takes approximately 2 seconds to put your underwear in the wash basket. Busy, my arse.

[gemandjule]

Honestly I agree, some of this is self generated. I also have 4 DC, they are now older but my morning routine hasn't varied since they were the age your kids are.
6.55, alarm goes off, get up around 7.05
Make my bed and tidy room.
7.10 call whoever is going on school run
7.10-7.40, empty dishwasher and washing machine, clothes onto clothes horse and put on another load of washing, make porridge for who ever wants it, anyone who doesn't sorts out their own breakfast, leave the dogs out into the garden for a run.
Kids sort out their own school lunches and eat breakfast. Make their own beds and bring dirty clothes up to utility room.
DH gets up at 6.15am and goes to gym, gets home around 7.30, makes his own breakfast and feeds dogs. He leaves with kids at 8.
I clean up kitchen, fix up sitting room and do a quick hoover (hand held dyson, yippee) around living areas downstairs . Sit down from 8.15 to 8.30 to have my breakfast and do crossword/read news headlines on line. then shower dressed and out the door for work around 9.10 am.
House is tidy, kids fed and dressed, washing on. So when I get back home after work I'm ready to sort out after school homework/activities make dinner and do any extra housework that needs doing. Once dinner is over and cleaned up I sit down and relax. I never do housework in the evening
I had help when kids were younger but certainly ay the ages yours are at this routine as well established

[WindwardCircle]

I really should leave this thread alone, but it's bugging me.

If your DD takes up a lot of your mental energy that's more reason to get the DCs looking after themselves, not less.

Stop all the morning ironing and defluffing, do it in the day. I'm a sahm with a school aged child, I know you have time, especially as you have a cleaner.
Pants on the bathroom floor and beds not made, nope. Have words, if words don't work then sanctions, that's not acceptable.
Bags packed by children not by you. As someone else suggested if needs be make a timetable, but if a PE kit or piece of homework gets left at home it's a good life lesson to be more organised.
If your DH wants protein for breakfast let him breakfast like a German. Cold meat, cheese, yogurt, pre made hard boiled eggs.

I can four children making breakfast all at once could be chaotic, but if you whittle your morning tasks down to just making the DCs breakfast your life will be a lot easier.

[FineAsWeAre]

You spend your days drinking coffee, shopping and going to the gym and have a cleaner 3x a week? I'd happily pick up my OH's pants off the bathroom floor every morning if my life was that cushy. I would encourage your kids to do more though or chances are they'll end up entitled lazy buggers like your DH not very independent as adults

[SapphireStrange]

Things that jump out at me, OP, are:

Iron and "de-fluff" 4 school uniforms (hazard of 3 white Persian cats). Lay out all clothes for DC
Make sure PE kits are in bags.
Check correct homework is in bags etc.

6.30 Take DH coffee in bed and wake him up.

DH can get up earlier and do/do a share of the above, no?

7.00 Serve everyone breakfast - to various specifications What are you, a short-order cook?

DH is not that bad, he's just not a morning person Well, tough. He needs to step up.

[nickelbeingnormal]

Your DS1 is THIRTEEN and hasn't used the washing machine?!
you need to change that.

If your DD1 has executive function issues, it's a different thing, but even then, she does need to learn, and that means you need to get her to do her own stuff.
(Even.if you have to make reminders for her)

[Parker231]

I find it sad that in 2017 some women are still acting like this and their DH's not participating in equality in the family.

[Nikephorus]

You have a cleaner 3 times a week but you're at home with peace and quiet until 3pm?! I'd cleaned my entire house thoroughly from top to bottom yesterday (and I mean thoroughly - if it's not hoovered & mopped then it's dusted or wiped) by 1.15pm before I went out to a client. (4 bed house & I had time to read Mumsnet & follow election news).

[GerdaLovesLili]

6.30. Drink Coffee from pre-made flask, whilst reading book and mentally planning day.
7.00 (ish) Get up
Unload and reload dishwasher.
Sweep up after rabbits.
Make breakfast for Small Son
Make list of stuff to do.
8.30 .Walk Small Son to school through park.

[Iris65]

Awake at 6am go downstairs and put a load of washing on (DP gets through a lot of clothes as he has ASD and sensory issues with worn clothing)
Eat my breakfast in between washing up from the previous evening and tidying the house, opening the curtains
Make my lunch for work.
Put previous day's washing away.
Put out the rubbish
Deal with the cat litter tray
Shower, dress, make up
Check emails for amything thag needs dealing with that day
Leave the house at 8am with any stuff that needs posting/returning to work/taking to charity shop.
This will soon change as I stop work in July.

[calli335]

6.30 wake up
6.30-7.15 shower/dress/feed cats/litter box/my breakfast/make my lunch plus DH's and DD's
7.15-8.30 nag kids to get up/help get dressed/sort breakfast/tidy up/hair/teeth/prepare for evening meal
8.35 take kids to school then on to work

DH rolls out of bed, has shower, gets dressed and goes to work

[TinklyLittleLaugh]

I get up at 8, every other day (DH and I work from home so take turns on the morning jobs). Otherwise it's about 8.30.

I go down in my Jim jams and make DS(11) a wrap or something and put his packed lunch together. And that's it really.

DS gets himself up, showered, dressed and breakfasted. (About one a week I might do him some eggs). He also sorts out his own bag and sports kit. He then takes himself off to school.

I just mooch about chatting to him about his forthcoming day and empty the dishwasher or put on a wash if necessary.

DH and I have discussed how DS has no actual need for us to get up with him, but concluded it would just be too mean to lie in while he got up on his own.

DS leaves at about 8.40. I'm normally at my desk by 9.00.