How many mini-tasks do you do before 8am?

[m0j1to]

Kind of following on from the "mental load" thread, I think lots of women are in the position of having effectively done the equivalent of maybe half a days work before they even leave the house "of a morning"?

This would be a typical weekday morning for me -

5.30. Get up. Feed and deal with cats / litter trays. Get showered and ready.

6.00 Iron and "de-fluff" 4 school uniforms (hazard of 3 white Persian cats ). Lay out all clothes for DC
Make sure PE kits are in bags.
Check correct homework is in bags etc.

6.30 Take DH coffee in bed and wake him up. Wake everyone up. Start making breakfast, unloading dishwasher and whatever else. Up and down stairs in the meantime for people asking where's this and where's that and general moaning.

7.00 Serve everyone breakfast - to various specifications

7.20 DS1 and DD1 leave.
Run round and make sure bathrooms ok and no underwear etc left around the place, beds made etc (particularly on days cleaner is coming). Put some laundry in. Make beds.

7.30 DH leaves. Tidy kitchen and see if I can get DD2 and 3 (twins) to do 15 mins music practice if they didn't do it the night before.
Do whatever hairstyles of the day on both.

7.55 Leave for school run.

This is NOT meant to be a moan or sound like a martyr complex because after this, my time is more or less my own until 3pm. But AIBU to think that actually most women do a multitude of such mini-tasks every morning which other members of the household are barely aware of?

You may well ask why I don't do a lot of this stuff in the evenings and I do try to, but the evenings are busy too with dinner, homework, baths and bedtimes. DS1 not in bed until 10 and I'm generally too tired by then.

DH will join in if he's here (sometimes works away from home). He's more likely to do giving lifts to children if necessary but I don't wait on him at all.

If they all made their own breakfast it would be chaos, for instance
Course it wouldn't.

If you're expecting them to cook a full English every morning, it might be tricky, but surely the oldest Ones can manage toast, cereal and juice.

I'm sure they are a lot more capable than you give them credit for.

I don't see how everyone making their own breakfast would be chaos unless they are all having a cooked breakfast. Mine all make their own. Two have porridge (made in the microwave), one has cereal and the other makes up a concoction using different grains, berries, nuts etc.

Even if you stuck with doing the breakfast, there is still loads that should be pushed back on the kids.

LOL at your husband leaving his PJs on the bathroom floor and your children leaving their pants on the floor too. If your family weren't such slobs you'd have a lot less work to do

Children's uniform should be taken off when they get home and hung up on hangers in wardrobes over night.

Children should be sorting their own PE kit and homework in bags.

Children should also be able to get their own uniform on?

That only leaves cat / coffee / breakfast to do :-)

Get up at 5:30. Go to boot camp between 6-7am. Home by 7:05. Make packed lunches for boys. Youngest normally gets up when I get home and he gets his own breakfast.
Unload dishwasher, have a shower then wake ds 1 up. He gets his own breakfast.
Make sure both boys pack there bags, clean teeth and have a shower if they didn't have one the night before.
0810 ds1 leaves for school
0825 take ds2 to school and then go to work.
I've also normally put a load of washing on.

None, usually. I'll have made myself a cup of tea.

I hate faffing, so my children and husband know to sort their own stuff out and that I'm not the unpaid help. It seems as if you enjoy the faffing though, so crack on. You've got to drop the bloody de-fluffing of uniform though

Wake DS2 up, shower, shout to DS2, wash and dry hair, get dressed,
shout louder at DS2, make some tea, feed cats and dog, make DS2's lunchbox, make my lunchbox, eat breakfast, shout again at DS2, clean teeth, make-up, tell DS#2 I am leaving for work NOW causing him to panic and finally get up, drive to work.

Sometimes I will also feed guinea pigs and/or bearded dragon hang-out/bring-in washing, tidy kitchen, do washing up.

7:30 alarm goes off. Snooze
7:35 alarm.goes off snooze
7:40 alarm.goes off persuade dd it's time to get up.
Then I make her breakfast. Turn telly on, fibd remote control.
Tell her to get dressed ny the time I'm downstairs.
Brush teeth, wash, find my clothes, find dd's clothes.
go downstairs, get dresses.
nag dd to get dressed.
Shout a bit (a lot)
nag dd to brush teeth
Grab dd's bag, leave house (with dressed dd)(usually also with toothbrush)
oh, that's not all before 8am.
8am.happens when I'm washing

Dh, however, usuwlly manages loads of mini tasks before he leaves for work, and when he has his day off, he does the nagging dd bit.

I get up at 7.30.
Go to the toilet and put dressing gown on.
Go downstairs and deal with cat stuff.
Put toast in toaster, kettle on.
Get dressed.
Eat my toast and drink my coffee and look at stuff on my phone.
Play with kitten.
Do my teath.
Leave for work at 8.30.

Phew I'm exhausted just thinking about all my mini tasks.

You appear to be making work for yourself.

5.30am, toddler gets in to bed with me, breastfeed, snooze.
6.30am I get up, shower and dress.
Whilst I'm doing this DH gets toddler dressed then he gets in the shower. (we alternate who goes in the shower first).
7am - make bed & do make up, brush toddlers teeth.
7.15am on way downstairs, take water glasses from last night and any rubbish.
7.20am leave for work, taking toddler to nursery on the way.

Evenings are where I get clothes together/ pack nursery bag/ empty and fill dishwasher and fill/ empty washing machine. DH and I share those tasks though I tend to do more little tasks along the way.

Neither of us eat breakfast and DS gets breakfast at nursery.

Yes I do try and get them to take everything off and change when they get in, Kokusai, but it doesn't always happen. DD1 is very exhausting to deal with for many reasons and she takes up 80% of my energy.

What is it you do do with your 30 hours a week to yourself?

I've got this vision of you running around like a blue-arsed fly all the while you've got an audience in the house to perform to, and then cracking open a beer and going back to bed the minute your husband leaves for work.

Does your DH not do any family or home related tasks?

Yes, I think women usually do many more tasks in quick succession then men. We seem to be a lot better at multitasking. My dh seems to only be able to do one thing at a time, If he's asked to do a few things at once he forgets something. Tasks take him a lot longer than me. A particularly busy morning as the cleaner comes on Thursdays but today my morning looked like this:

7.30 up. Get dd dressed and make b fast for dd and ds.
7.45- eat own b fast, tidy b fast things And give out puddings.
7.50- wash up from last night, un load dishwasher, re load dishwasher.
8.20- have showed, dressed, get ready etc
8.45- dh announces he's going to work, having just got dressed and goes.
8.45-9.20- clean my teeth and dcs, tidy all rooms in 3 bed semi detached house house, put x2 loads of washing away, put away toys, make beds, brush dcs hair,
9.20- get dcs shoes on, coats etc and go.

I am pretty good at multi tasking and doing things quick these days. I ve had to be!

I can't send them to school covered in fluff! It's not so bad with the twins now as they have summer dresses, but in the winter they have navy cord skirts and navy cardigans. The elder two are in different schools, but black and navy uniforms which show everything. Yes it's my fault for getting the cats, but they're with us now.

Putting clothes into the tumble dryer for a few seconds is great for removing creases and cat hairs! Could your DC's not do that in the morning before getting dressed?

Saucy - no I don't crack open a beer. I have 2 strong coffees and go to the gym. Then I do food shopping and other shopping.

OP I would not be getting up at 5:30 for anybody - least of all family members who could do most of it for themselves.

I get up at 7. I have a shower, get dressed, make a coffee for me & DH if I'm the first one to the kettle. I will also grab some breakfast if I fancy it. Then I take our youngest to school.

In the mean time, the DC have got themselves up, washed, got dressed (with the clothes they laid out the night before), tidied their beds and have made their own breakfasts. I honestly think it's good for them to do things for themselves.

I'm not surprised you're knackered by 10pm - I would be if I was up at 5:30! Give yourself a break!

I have to comment on yours though

Your DH is still in bed when you get up? Fuck that! He's perfectly capable of doing half of what you do in the morning!

And: unless all 4 children are in infants, thry can do their own uniform and checking homework is in.the bag!

Alarm goes off at seven. Get a good morning lick on the nose from Bella the cat.

Wake DD (11)

Go downstairs and feed all four cats.

Let cats out

Wash up any dishes still sitting from previous evening (odd cups and plates) and dp's breakfast stuff. Wash up cat bowls

Make coffee

Go into garden and pick up all tiny froglets which are not in the pond and put them back (this is obviously seasonal stuff but they are the size of my little finger fingernail and at risk of drying out/getting stood on).

Shout up to DD.

Drink coffee

Put kettle back on, get DD's lunch out of the fridge and put on top of her bag - shout up the stairs to her again.

Plait DD's hair, make her breakfast and have a chat with her.

See her out the door.

Make more coffee - 8am

That's insane how much you do. This is what I manage on a work day. Dd are 3 and 5. Dh often hangs out laundry and tidies kitchen while I'm sorting the kids.

6.45 get myself up and dressed
7.00 get kids up, give breakfast
7.30 get kids dressed, teeth brushed, hair in ponytails
7.55 everyone leaves the house. Dh takes the dc to cm and nursery then work. I go straight to work.

It works fine. I can't imagine trying to squeeze chores in at that time of day. I'm not fully awake until at least 9am and the dc aren't morning people either!

Good god, your kids are lazy buggers!

Get them to sort their OWN uniform out the night before, AND tbh they could make lunches if needed and check their PE kits.

Your H doesn't know he's born!

the only think you should do the night before perhaps could be the lunches for the littler ones, and laying out the breakfast things that can be out all night ready for the morning.

Please tell me your kids do sort out their own washing?

You are being your own worst enemy and you are not preparing your kids for young adulthood. Your DD1 may or may not be seeing the chink in your armour and going for it. You need to stage a revolution. Your H needs to back you in this... or get himself up a few days at 5.30 to take the pressure off you in the meantime

If the cleaner isn't coming (which is 3 days a week), I will leave the house in more of a mess and sort it later.

Oh give OP a break! It's up to her how she chooses to spend her days, you judgy lot!

I don't think the number of tasks in the morning is the issue as that's the same for everyone. The issue is DH and DC's who can't/won't do anything for themselves and OP who seems to be facilitating this.

I can just imagine my comments to my DH if he stayed in bed after I got up on a work day and expected a special breakfast made for him and coffee delivered to his bedside!