How many mini-tasks do you do before 8am?

[m0j1to]

Kind of following on from the "mental load" thread, I think lots of women are in the position of having effectively done the equivalent of maybe half a days work before they even leave the house "of a morning"?

This would be a typical weekday morning for me -

5.30. Get up. Feed and deal with cats / litter trays. Get showered and ready.

6.00 Iron and "de-fluff" 4 school uniforms (hazard of 3 white Persian cats ). Lay out all clothes for DC
Make sure PE kits are in bags.
Check correct homework is in bags etc.

6.30 Take DH coffee in bed and wake him up. Wake everyone up. Start making breakfast, unloading dishwasher and whatever else. Up and down stairs in the meantime for people asking where's this and where's that and general moaning.

7.00 Serve everyone breakfast - to various specifications

7.20 DS1 and DD1 leave.
Run round and make sure bathrooms ok and no underwear etc left around the place, beds made etc (particularly on days cleaner is coming). Put some laundry in. Make beds.

7.30 DH leaves. Tidy kitchen and see if I can get DD2 and 3 (twins) to do 15 mins music practice if they didn't do it the night before.
Do whatever hairstyles of the day on both.

7.55 Leave for school run.

This is NOT meant to be a moan or sound like a martyr complex because after this, my time is more or less my own until 3pm. But AIBU to think that actually most women do a multitude of such mini-tasks every morning which other members of the household are barely aware of?

You may well ask why I don't do a lot of this stuff in the evenings and I do try to, but the evenings are busy too with dinner, homework, baths and bedtimes. DS1 not in bed until 10 and I'm generally too tired by then.

The DC are 13 (he's independent more or less), 11 (started senior school this year and still struggling with homework expectations and remembering the right stuff) and 9 year-old twins who actually get quite a lot of homework and PE kits vary according to the day.

DH eats quite a lot in the mornings and says he needs his protein fix . He cycles to work mostly and is in the gym or similar at some point in the day. I do breakfast so at least I know they've eaten as DD1 tends to not eat lunch.

Its weird that your kids seem to be both toddlers AND teens - you are bathing them and doing their hair but also they are practicing instruments and doing homework?

Sorry, cross post

I fail to see why quite a lot of homework and different PE kit means you have to do everything for them. They're going to be utterly hopeless in later life so yes, YABU particularly since you appear to be strangely proud of this slavish routine

Get up at 8.15am. Having laid out DD's uniform the night before and checked her bag and put out cereal and bowl.

She is 8 and sees to sorting herself out.

I choose not to have cats.
I choose not to iron clothes.
I choose not to enforce music practise... neighbours?
I don't call having a shower 'work'
I don't eat breakfast.

Shout instructions like 'clean your teeth' 'brush your hair'.
Put hair in a simple ponytail. Takes precisely 2 minutes.
Put snack in bag.
Help with anything that needs helping with in the 15 mins before we do the school run at 8.30am

So no, it is not a full days work for me as I am sensible and organised.
What an odd post

I don't think you need to do so much OP but you're not moaning so I guess you enjoy it. Plus you are not working during the day which makes a big difference I think.

I said this exact thing this morning, not women in general but me specifically.

I wake when DD (2) does, anytime between 5 and 6.30 am but generally 6am.

Take dd downstairs and give her milk and breakfast
Empty dishwasher
Prepare evening meal (either on slow cooker or everything chopped and ready)
Shower
Dress myself and dd
Make bed
Empty washing machine (which dp will have turned on when he got up at 5)
Pull together mine and DD's lunch (prepared night before)
7.20-7.40 Drop dd at childminders
7.40-8 At work either paying bills, shopping, filing, buying birthday presents and cards, booking restaurants etc - general life admin
8am I actually start work

On mornings DD gets up at 5 I usually do an extra load of washing, cook a meal or cake or tidy up.

I'm a morning person without a doubt but I'm also organised so most stuff is ready the night before. We rarely have a panicked or rushed morning. That being said, I have very little 'spare' time. I regularly work through lunch so I can leave early and go tot he gym before picking DD up. I guess that could be called 'spare' time.

I do wonder how people with lots of children do it. 1 keeps me so busy!

I usually wake up at 6.30 as DH leaves and drink the coffee he's brought me.

Fart arse around on FB until about 7. Wake all three kids up. Bring DS2 downstairs and do him a bowl of cereal.

Go for a fag and let the dog out. Make another coffee. Feed dog and cat.

Go back upstairs to chivvy the teenagers.

Make ds2's lunch. Have another coffee/fag.

Help DS2 get dressed. Holler for the teens as they are about to miss the bus.

Leave the house at about 8.05.

I totally agree that women do a lot of under appreciated wife/house work, but wow.

My morning:
6.30 dh gets up, showers, gets breakfast on the table, wakes the dcs and me around 7am (with my cuppa)
dh leaves around 7.30
7-8, I chivvy kids to eat/dress/shower/do final bag preparation: they are expected to clear their own bowls/pack their own bags but I do do reminders ;-)
8 shower and quick dress for me
8.20 leave the house

Bags are packed the night before and uniform checked and left ready to put on. Why not do all of that the night before (and by that I mean get the kids to do, then depending on age you might do a double check). Do all the bedrooms really need checking every day? Can you not ask your dc to run up and check there are no pants on the floor after their breakfasts?

Two of your children are in secondary school and you are still laying out their clothes and feeding them breakfast?! As for your husband's protein fix, is his poor, tired body incapable of providing that himself?!

Gosh the 5.30am starts would kill me. I can just about cope with 6.30am and that's only because DD is so rubbish at getting up.

So basically i get up at 6.30am, wake the DC up, sit them down for breakfast and then head off for a shower & to get dressed.

I then yell at them at various intervals before they leave for school at 7.30am. I'll remind them about homework/sports kit but if they forget it and get into trouble at school, it's their problem.

Can you not put the uniform in a cupboard/wardrobe where it's safe from the cat haor or shave the cats?

Up at 6.30, DH brings me coffee in bed
6.40 wake DC1, shower, put a wash on, DH makes lunchboxes
Shove DC1 out of door at 7.15. Wake other DC, loosely supervise breakfast, dressing, teeth
Hang overnight wash
Unload, load dishwasher
Check email
Shove other DC out of door at appropriate times
Start work 8-8.30

Before 8:
Wake DCs
Make breakfast us
Make lunch for me
Prep after school snack for DCs
Unload washer and hang up clothes for drying (though not always every day)
Remind nag DCs to get up/eat breakfast/shower/teeth/get dressed and leave the house
Locate missing PE socks/ rulers etc.

Shower, get dressed and go to work

Mine have been getting their own school bag ready since they were in year 6. Not my problem if they forget their homework.

As I'm last in the shower I make sure there aren't PJs/towels all over the floor (though I don't pick them up, I make them come back and do it).

Are you sure your older ones can't do more for themselves?

I have had cats all my life but not ones like this with fine white fur that gets everywhere (even in the wardrobes) and we can't get rid of them now as they're our pets.

*hair

Viques surely your kids don't sleep in their underwear?

At risk of starting a different debate, I've never understood what people think is so odd about wearing underwear under pyjamas. Surely it must create so much washing? My children wear their pyjamas for a couple of nights before they get washed but if they weren't wearing underwear beneath them, I'd have to wash them every day because otherwise it would be ... eugh! Wouldn't it? What am I missing?

I think there is a lot to do with young DC but by the age of OP's DC surely everyone is (or should be) self sufficient?

My DC are 11 and 13. My morning consists of getting up, making my own breakfast and lunch, eating my breakfast, showering and dressing and leaving for work. I might do a quick job such as empty the dishwasher or hang out some washing. And I'll remind the DC if it's music lesson day (they seem unable to remember). So really not a lot ...

My dcs are the same ages to your two older ones (13 and 11): both check homework/PE kits the night before, and pack their own bags; both are expected to tidy their rooms/pick up dirty clothes (ds doesn't always, but hey, that's his problem, not mine...); make and clear their own breakfast (nothing fancy); and leave their uniform ready to wear the next day when they take it off. I think you need to take a step back and give some control & responsibility back to your dcs.

We have a cleaner, and I tell my two if their floors aren't clear, the cleaner won't do their rooms, and they'll have to instead. Dd is tidy naturally (God knows where those genes came from) but that helps motivate ds!

You lot are making me feel exhausted just reading some of this. OP, just wondering why you have a cleaner when you say the time between dropping DCs at school and picking them up at 3.00 is "your own" ...... that's enough time to get on top of the domestics and do a lot of your morning stuff.

Anyhow ...

Your family are making a fool out of you. They are all old enough to get themselves up, breakfast made and school bags sorted.

If any adult or children left their clothes or towels on the floor, they would be sent back to tidy up . It might make them late for school/work but that is their problem.

I've not heard of anyone laying out clothes and making beds for DC's of the age of yours. Is there a reason they can't do it themselves?

When do you find time to get yourself ready for work?

I get up, wake the children, open the curtains in all bedrooms, shower, dress, hair, make up. Breakfast for the youngest (older three get their own) although I get milk, orange juice, bread etc out). After breakfast I wash and dress DS4 DD empties the dishwasher, I reload it. Make mine and DS4s bed then do the school run. My DH works abroad so I do everything at the moment. I'm a great believer of having the children do their own chores. They pack their own lunches, make sure they have appropriate kit in their bags for the day ahead and put any dirty laundry or crockery in the appropriate places. I think it makes them more thoughtful and better to plan ahead as they get older.

To be fair, DS1 just comes down, eats, asks for money and goes.
DD1 is very difficult on all fronts. Not diagnosed with anything but let's just say she's not getting any easier as she gets older.
The twins are fine if they're not bickering
DH does work very hard at work which is why I don't ask him to get involved in the mornings.

Weekdays are

6am get woken up by a toddler, Dp takes her downstairs and changes her nappy, gives her milk and breakfast and makes his lunch. While he's doing that I shower and get dressed and do my make up. Then I make beds, quick tidy of bedrooms, wipe the bathroom and collect the dirty laundry.
6.30 I come down and have my breakfast and feed the cat
7.00 I wake up Ds if he's not already awake, he makes his own breakfast and gets himself ready for school. He makes his packed lunch the night before.
7.30 Dp leaves for work
Then I wash up from breakfast, put washing on, feed the rabbit, sweep the floors or run the vacuum around. This takes until 9 because I have a clingy toddler who doesn't like me doing housework. In between I'm hurrying along Ds and making sure he's got everything ready for him to leave for the bus at 8.30.

I work weekends so all I do then is get up and shower and have breakfast and leave. Dp does everything else.

None. I work full time - commute of an hr plus. Up at 6.15, shower dress and out the door at 6.45. Coffee and breakfast when I get to work. Everyone else in the house is still in bed when I leave.