How many mini-tasks do you do before 8am?

[m0j1to]

Kind of following on from the "mental load" thread, I think lots of women are in the position of having effectively done the equivalent of maybe half a days work before they even leave the house "of a morning"?

This would be a typical weekday morning for me -

5.30. Get up. Feed and deal with cats / litter trays. Get showered and ready.

6.00 Iron and "de-fluff" 4 school uniforms (hazard of 3 white Persian cats ). Lay out all clothes for DC
Make sure PE kits are in bags.
Check correct homework is in bags etc.

6.30 Take DH coffee in bed and wake him up. Wake everyone up. Start making breakfast, unloading dishwasher and whatever else. Up and down stairs in the meantime for people asking where's this and where's that and general moaning.

7.00 Serve everyone breakfast - to various specifications

7.20 DS1 and DD1 leave.
Run round and make sure bathrooms ok and no underwear etc left around the place, beds made etc (particularly on days cleaner is coming). Put some laundry in. Make beds.

7.30 DH leaves. Tidy kitchen and see if I can get DD2 and 3 (twins) to do 15 mins music practice if they didn't do it the night before.
Do whatever hairstyles of the day on both.

7.55 Leave for school run.

This is NOT meant to be a moan or sound like a martyr complex because after this, my time is more or less my own until 3pm. But AIBU to think that actually most women do a multitude of such mini-tasks every morning which other members of the household are barely aware of?

You may well ask why I don't do a lot of this stuff in the evenings and I do try to, but the evenings are busy too with dinner, homework, baths and bedtimes. DS1 not in bed until 10 and I'm generally too tired by then.

[PeaFaceMcgee]

Nope. I am not a slave. I get up as late as possible. DH has already been up, fed DD (7) and made her packed lunch. She gets her own clothes out, sorts her book bag and feeds the cat.

I get up, dressed, take DD to school, go back to bed if not enough kip.

Kids should change out of uniforms and put away if they get cat fluffy in evenings?

Your world is nothing like mine and I don't know why you choose to do it?

[tinytemper66]

My children re grown up but I set my alarm for 6 and press snooze many times and hope In get up by 6.40. Shower, dress, dry hair, put a minimal bit of makeup on, have a cuppa and some cereal, clean teeth and out of door for lift or drive to pick up car share peeps by 7.20am! No time to think of anyone else I am afraid!

[ShotsFired]

Get up, shower, check cat if cat has been fed by OH or not, go to work.

Seriously CBA with all that fannying around and doing stuff some people do in the mornings - OH will iron a single shirt each day (incl getting everything out and putting it all away) some weeks, instead of doing the whole lot when he's watching TV on the weekend.

[allegretto]

I'm a bit confused about the age of your twins - if they can do music practice I would guess they could probably do the other stuff you do for them .

[Sallystyle]

None.

Unless I'm working early and then I would simply just get ready for work and dh will do what needs doing.

[PeaFaceMcgee]

A close friend's mum used to do everything for her. At 15 she had no idea how to use the washing machine. When 'her mum' forgot her PE kit one day, the whole class laughed at her!

[healthyeating]

4:00 - feed baby. Back to sleep.
7:00 - groan when alarm goes off. Quick shower, dress, teeth, etc. Make sure baby and eldest are awake. Brush eldest's teeth.
7:30 - husband goes to work. Make breakfast for my eldest, and whilst he's eating make something for youngest (just started weaning).
7:50 - make/eat my own breakfast.
8:00 - wash up, give kitchen a quick clean. Possibly chuck a load of clothes in the washing machine.
8:10 - start hinting at eldest that getting into his school uniform may be a good idea. Dress youngest.
8:20 - remind eldest that he needs to be getting dressed. Check his bag is ready and dinner money/fruit money.
8:25 - once again mention to eldest (who is probably at this point standing in his pants) that he should really be moving a little quicker.
8:30 - remind son that he also needs shoes. Oh, and his jumper.
8:35 - baby in car seat ready to go. Quick check that eldest is properly dressed (turned up at school with his trousers on back to front the other week). All 3 in car (or pushchair if sun is shining so we can walk).

Basically, I do very little in the morning other than feed and dress the 3 of us!

[QueenofallIsee]

Wake up at 7am, get kids up (18,11,11,10)
DD18 walks dog
DS (on rota basis) feed cat & dog
Everyone grabs own cereal/toast/tea/juice - dishes get done later cost we are slatterns
Get myself washed and dressed
Take drying out of dryer and put wash on
DH makes beds
Kids get themselves washed and dressed
Make youngest lunchbox (others are school dinners)
Make 3 travel mugs of coffee for DD, DH and me
Go to work/turn on computer if WFH
DH or DD take younger kids to school

• not all done without chivvying or reminders to leave each other alone for heavens sake

[tinytemper66]

Oh if I have time I will feed the cat and not ignore her miaows

[tobee]

For a start everyone can wake themselves up,

[KatyBerry]

I can save you five hours a week straight off.

Get your children to remove their uniforms and hang them up in a wardrobe on return from school.
Get your children to take responsibility for their own school bags (assuming over the age of 5)
Get your children to make their own breakfast where sharp knives / fire isn't involved for the under 10s.
Get your children to put their own dirty laundry in the basket / make their own beds (assuming over the age of 4)

God help any future spouse of these little emperors! (or you'll tell me that they're 3 yr old quads?)

[Coconutwoman]

Wake up, have a coffee, bathroom, study ( or run on the treadmill), prep lunch for 3, cook dinner, wash up, tidy kitchen, sort child out, handover to husband when he comes home from night shift, get dressed for work, walk to train station to catch the 7.52 train.

[theymademejoin]

If your kids are all school age, and it sounds like they are, I think you are doing them a disservice by doing all you are doing. I know it's often quicker to do it yourself but how else will they learn?

Mine are all teens and I'm still nagging them to pick up after themselves but they need to learn the basics. None of them would dream of asking me to serve breakfast at this stage.

[youngestisapsycho]

I don't do anything other than make the DDs packed lunches, get myself dressed and get us all out of the house. DH leaves before I'm up.
I'm home by 3.30 though so do any jobs then.

[allegretto]

Mine is:
6.30 yoga, cup of tea, shower
7.00 have breakfast with ds1
7.15 get twins up, chivvy them to eat breakfast, get dressed etc
8.00 leave for school

[theaveragewife]

I prod DH to get up and he gets the children breakfast, then he gets me a cup of tea or coffee. If I haven't sorted their clothes he does and I help them get ready when they need help...he often takes them to school too.

After they leave I get on with washing etc and I do everything in the eve too..meal making and getting children ready for bed.

I would feel resentful if I had to take on the majority of work and the way we are now is equal....it wasn't always this way.

[Juanbablo]

6:30 get up. Some children may have arisen beforehand but I refuse to get up before 6:30.

Feed cat and deal with litter tray.
Empty dishwasher.
Give dcs breakfast.
Make packed lunches.
Put a load of washing on.
Fill water bottles.
Clean kitchen after breakfast.
Shower and get dressed.
Help toddler dress, tell other dcs 4,000 times to get dressed.
Make sure everyone has what they need and leave.

3 days a week we leave at 7:45. Two days we leave at 8:30.

[sobeyondthehills]

wake up have coffee make DS breakfast.

[DontMakeMeShushYou]

Crikey, no, I don't do anything like that.

DH gets up and gets the lunches sorted. Then he wakes me and the kids at 7.15. I have my breakfast, shower, do DD's hair and leave for work at 8.

He works afternoons and evenings so I do the evening stuff rather than mornings.

[someonestolemynick]

5am sleep
6am sleep
7am sleep
8am sleep
9am hit snooze button repeatedly
9.30am make coffee (a coffee machine by the bed is your friend.)
10am sort cats (they have dried food on tap and get a tin every morning).
10.15am take back coffee for DP (we take turns for coffee duty so 50% I don't have to leave bed at all until lunchtime.
10.16am back to bed to do some admin tasks (reply to e-mails, make phone calls)
11 bathroom
12pm meet first client.

I don't have kids though. 😁

[MoMandaS]

Between getting up at 6.30 and leaving the house at 8.45, I:
Get DD and DS2 up (with DH), take them downstairs and plonk them in front of Cbeebies with a drink. DH goes off to get ready.
Make cup of tea for me and DH.
Unload dishwasher, make breakfast and lunch for DH to take to work.
DH gets DS1 up and dressed and teeth brushed, then brings him down to me and goes to finish getting ready.
Make breakfast for all 3 DC and supervise/feed while drinking tea and making packed lunch for DS1.
Get younger DC dressed.
Clear away breakfast, say bye to DH.
Get self ready in between countless interruptions from various DC.
Have breakfast in between interruptions.
Start mammoth task of getting everyone ready to leave the house.

But I think that's a fair division of responsibility given that DH leaves by 7.30am most days.

[winglesspegasus]

why are people cleaning up for the cleaners???????

[witsender]

Depends who works that day tbh. Up until last week we both worked 3 days, now I do 1 and he does 4.

Whoever isn't working gets up and heads down with kids while other showers and dresses etc.

Non worker lets dog out, makes hot drinks and breakfast for all, fixes a packed lunch for the worker and anyone else who needs one and empties dishwasher.

Worker comes down and eats (normally all together) puts dishes away and gets ready for work.

Non worker goes for a shower etc.

So it really depends on who is working. As our working pattern has changed the 'non-worker' morning falls to me more, but as I am currently pregnant and tired dh had been intercepting and bringing me coffee in bed instead quite often.

[WomblingThree]

Ironing 4 school uniforms every day??? Bloody hell. I guess your kids don't wear polos and sweatshirts. I never ironed a school uniform (or anything much actually) in my life!

[unfortunateevents]

If your children are old enough to be a school, they are old enough to feed the cats and clean the litter trays. So cut that out. Why does your husband get an extra hour in bed and coffee as well? Cut that out. What does serving breakfast to everyone's specifications mean?! Your home is not a restaurant and you are not a waitress. Again, if your children are old enough to be at school they are old enough to get their own cereal and pour juice. Unless you are providing cooked breakfast or something similar, "serving" breakfast surely just means buttering some toast or similar? People need to stop leaving pyjamas and underwear on the floor as well - interesting that you think that it is disrespectful for these to be left on the floor for the cleaner but don't consider that it is disrespectful of the rest of the family to leave you to pick it up?