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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Men in changing rooms

495 replies

TheWernethWife · 04/06/2017 11:24

Went shopping yesterday, popped into a well known women's shop and there was a man in the changing room. When I asked why he was there the assistant looked at me like I had three heads and said he was probably helping his wife and most people wouldn't be bothered. Well I was bloody bothered.

OP posts:
BzyB · 04/06/2017 11:28

Was it an open changing room? If behind doors I don't see the issue.

noeffingidea · 04/06/2017 11:38

OP vote with your feet (and wallet) if it bothers you. I wouldn't use a changing room if it had a man in it, unless it had proper locking cubicles.
Having said that, I do use a unisex 'changing village' when I go swimming. I would be happier if the walls of the cubicles went from the floor to the ceiling, but they don't , so I just get changed/showered as quickly as possible.

WeAllHaveWings · 04/06/2017 11:54

If individual cubicles then don't see the problem?

Cocolepew · 04/06/2017 11:56

I'd be bothered too, why couldn't he wait outside and his wife walk out to him?
There's no reason for a man to be in the womans changing rooms, cubicles or not.

Original poster
TheWernethWife · 04/06/2017 11:58

Curtains not doors. Still think it was odd having a man there, he was wandering in and out, chatting to his wife and the assistant,

OP posts:
CrispyBathTowel · 04/06/2017 12:00

I'd be a bit bothered too especially if it was a cubicle with a curtain closure as I can never seem to get them to close properly without a bit of a gap. Agree that the woman should've come out to him if she needed his approval/opinion/permission before deciding if she liked something on her or not (which is a whole other AIBU in itself)

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 04/06/2017 12:01

I'd be bothered by that too!

Chottie · 04/06/2017 12:02

I don't get it either.

I would hate to find a spare man just hanging around too. What shop was this? I've heard assistants very firmly asking men to wait outside in M&S, JL etc.

PenguinOfDoom · 04/06/2017 12:03

I once asked DH to come into a changing room where I was the only person in there and he got kicked out by the assistant. Definitely wouldn't have asked him if there had been other people in there.

SauvignonBlanche · 04/06/2017 12:05

I was a bit disconcerted by this when shopping with teenage DD recently there were a couple of random blokes in there.

Yes. there were curtains across the cubicles but they never close properly.

I stood in front of DD's cubicle as whilst she didn't say anything she looked a bit uncomfortable.

SauvignonBlanche · 04/06/2017 12:08

This happened in New Look.

I quite rightly wasn't allowed to take DS a different size of trousers in M&S las week, despite their cubicles having doors but an assistant kindly acted as a go between.

Thephoneywar · 04/06/2017 12:12

Get a grip. He was there helping his wife. Their was an assistant there. Grow up.

SuperFlyHigh · 04/06/2017 12:13

Make a stand! A man and not even a teenage boy should be allowed to loiter around and can stand and wait at the cash desk area.

I personally wouldn't give a shit if a man or teenage boy saw me, but I would make a stand if others were bothered.

ForalltheSaints · 04/06/2017 12:15

Checking they are with someone is reasonable, and if they are it seems OK to me. Not that I ever go clothes shopping with anyone else.

CrispyBathTowel · 04/06/2017 12:15

Get a grip. He was there helping his wife. Their was an assistant there. Grow up.

Helping his wife with what exactly?? I think it's the wife (and husband) who need to get a grip in this situation.

glenthebattleostrich · 04/06/2017 12:16

No the OP should not grow up or not be bothered.

It is a woman's space therefore a man should not be in it.

Cocolepew · 04/06/2017 12:16

What assistance was he giving his wife? Confused.
I took DD2 shopping for clothes yesterday, she never would have gone into the changing room if there was some random bloke standing there.

Ipigglemustdie · 04/06/2017 12:17

I thought most changing rooms are one sex. Just with curtains on the cubicles. Did he look like a potential sex offender? Hmm

Ameliablue · 04/06/2017 12:18

Assuming it is ladies change and not a communal change he shouldn't have been there. Curtains normally leave gaps and you might need to open them to ask for a different size.

AdalindSchade · 04/06/2017 12:20

Maybe he identified as a woman? I hope you're not being a transphobic bigot and assuming someone who looks like a man can't be a woman!

Aridane · 04/06/2017 12:20

^Get a grip. He was there helping his wife. Their was an assistant there. Grow up.*

^^

Couldn't agree less

Spikeyball · 04/06/2017 12:20

Perhaps his wife needed help. Some people do.

scottishdiem · 04/06/2017 12:21

Do we know if the wife is disabled? How do women who are disabled go shopping with their partners if their partners are not allowed to help?

I think there is a huge difference between a man just standing there having a good look at the gaps in the curtains and a man helping out his partner, fetching things, bringing new things to try on and chatting to staff.

HildaOg · 04/06/2017 12:22

What a disrespectful arsehole. I would have made a complaint to the manager and their head office. And bought nothing.

Stressedoutmumofone · 04/06/2017 12:24

But if he said he identified as a woman he would be allowed in would he not?? So what would happen in that situation?? (Just wondered )