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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Men in changing rooms

495 replies

TheWernethWife · 04/06/2017 11:24

Went shopping yesterday, popped into a well known women's shop and there was a man in the changing room. When I asked why he was there the assistant looked at me like I had three heads and said he was probably helping his wife and most people wouldn't be bothered. Well I was bloody bothered.

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 04/06/2017 13:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YoureNotASausage · 04/06/2017 13:29

I would have zero problem with men in a changing room if there are curtains. I do think there's a lot of hysterical women out there.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 04/06/2017 13:31

Yes, silly hysterical women Hmm

user1492958275 · 04/06/2017 13:33

Parenting 101? Grin

My son is 6.

He's a long way to go yet and I'm a perfectly fine parent, thanks though.

Well, he's still alive and I feed him and stuff. We've not quite reached the stage where I need to teach him how not to disrespect women and not stand in their personal space cos we're far to precious for that.

And for what it's worth, regardless of how you feel about your 2 grown up sons, it's rarely the mums fault if he assaults a woman. Sometimes people ain't wired right and no amount of 'bringing them up right' can change that.

KoolKoala07 · 04/06/2017 13:33

This wouldn't worry me, but then again if he peeped through the curtain at me, he wouldn't want to do it again. I've got the body of a hippo.

KurriKurri · 04/06/2017 13:34

Oh right, yeah I see now, because straight women and lesbians aren't capable of sexual assault.

Your point is taken.

Are you unable to read and understand at the same time ?

the comment I made was Because most women who have been sexually assaulted have been the victims of men not lesbians. Women tend not to be sexually violent

The clue is in the words 'most' and 'tend'

pigsDOfly · 04/06/2017 13:34

Well, now women are being hysterical apparently.

Well that's never been an insult thrown at women by misogynistic arseholes has it?

user1492958275 · 04/06/2017 13:35

How do you ladies feel about shopping for underwear with a man around in the same isle?

Is this just as concerning for you?

Genuine question btw no digs - as I wonder if maybe it's a whole picture and not a specific place.

user1492958275 · 04/06/2017 13:37

Are you unable to read and understand at the same time ?

the comment I made was Because most women who have been sexually assaulted have been the victims of men not lesbians. Women tend not to be sexually violent

The clue is in the words 'most' and 'tend

Thanks for your lovely words.

But my reply was to Hilda not you.

noeffingidea · 04/06/2017 13:37

straight women and lesbians aren't capable of sexual assault. Well as long as we're not actively being sexually assaulted everythings hunky dory then?

KurriKurri · 04/06/2017 13:37

I have no problem with shopping for underwear because when I shop for underwear in a shopping aisle I don't take my clothes off. And a shop is a communal area where a man has as much right to be as I do.

MiddleEnglandLives · 04/06/2017 13:38

How often does it need to be said? Far too many women have had bad experiences with men. At worst too many women get raped and killed. At best, they land us with the childcare then insult us for doing it, assume we are there to look after things while they play, and assume they have more right to women's bodies than the actual inhabitants of those bodies do. Men are women's biggest source of problems.

They can manage to stay outside of a changing room for 5 minutes fgs, and their womenfolk can similarly survive without them for that long. It's called being polite and showing good manners, and those men who won't do that simple thing will always be a red flag.

noeffingidea · 04/06/2017 13:39

user how is that relevant? Do you get undressed and try clothes on in the middle of the aisle? I certainly don't.

FrancisCrawford · 04/06/2017 13:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IntheBenefitTrap · 04/06/2017 13:40

"I'll change my choice of store" - how utterly pathetic. Because this man and his wife only shop in New Look? Because they'll be there next time you are, guaranteed? Because you haven't got a clue if his wife was disabled and he was her career but will boycott anyway? Mind boggles.

I'm disabled and my husband is my carer. He comes in to help me change because I can't do it alone. I don't want a random assistant seeing certain parts of me. I don't care what anyone else thinks tbh.

user1492958275 · 04/06/2017 13:41

I didn't say it was relevant. I was asking a question on how do people feel about that.

And some people do. Quite often I see people trying clothes on in the isle instead of going to the changing rooms. Not underwear though, obviously.

FrancisCrawford · 04/06/2017 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OriginalArchitect · 04/06/2017 13:44

I don't see why people are drawing comparisons between Lesbian women and men. It's got absolutely nothing to do with sexuality, because by that rationale it would be ok for a gay man to be in the changing room....theyre segregated by sex and not sexual preference! What nonsense.

noeffingidea · 04/06/2017 13:45

I'll change my choice of store - how utterly pathetic. In your opinion, maybe. I disagree. Anyone can spend their money wherever they choose and if the customer isn't comfortable using the changing room they're free to go elsewhere and use a shop that provides an enviroment that suits them.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 04/06/2017 13:45

no fucking way!!! Vote with your feet and complain higher up the chain.

Cocolepew · 04/06/2017 13:47

Not sure why the posters objecting are silly and hysterical. How come a woman can't go and put some clothes on without her husbands input?
If he were a carer then he should have been in the bigger cubicle with his wife. Not wandering around.

FrancisCrawford · 04/06/2017 13:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Arealhumanbeing · 04/06/2017 13:49

Get a grip. He was there helping his wife. Their was an assistant there. Grow up.

Seriously?

The couple were idiots and the shop assistant was likely a man pleasing fuckwit. Of course it matters that there was a man in the women's changing room.

There is nothing difficult or complicated about this.

noeffingidea · 04/06/2017 13:51

user I didn't say it was relevant* Oh, ok. You just throw random thoughts out when you are posting then? Fine.
Yes I have seen people trying outer clothes on, such as a jacket or cardigan, but nothing that entails stripping off to underwear level. Nor would I do that myself.
Note, it's the stripping off part that requires a changing room. Not just buying the things.

Ofalltheginjoints · 04/06/2017 13:51

I'm disabled and my condition varies between me needing crutches or my wheelchair, if it's a wheelchair day and I have to go clothes shopping (I do try and avoid it just due to the pain it causes) I do need physical help and DP has come into the changing room to help previously.

Having read all the posts I now feel bad for him having done this if it has caused other people to feel distressed, I honestly don't see an alternative though if I need help other then not trying things on, I don't think an assistant would be able to help me as it isn't just the case of pulling a zip up and it isn't fair to ask them.

We don't know if the woman involved was disabled but I know my DP would be uncomfortable to go into a woman's changing room if I didn't need help