The Tory's want to put big ass spiders in all of YOUR bathrooms!

[Killdora]

Did I get your attention?

It's all getting a bit heated in here isn't it? I know, I'm as guilty of it myself (no fanatic like a convert)

It's hard to remember that the 'lefty loony dipshits' or the 'heartless, right wing bastards' (delete as appropriate) are nice people too. Really, deep, deep down. Somewhere. Maybe.

I thought we could have a thread for a little bit of lighthearted relief to bring us all together again.

Rules:

1. Lighthearted. LIGHTHEARTED. It's a fucking order folks.

2. You can post any fake news shite you like, as long as it's not a real life dig. As an example:

'Labour have pledged to provide alll churches with a life sized statue of Corbyn, so that GEH saviour may be more accurately represented' is ok.

'Labour have pledged to provide all churches with a life sized statue of Corbyn, because they are all fucking delusional and think he's the saviour. Lefty twats.' is not in the spirit if the thread.

Yes this is a completely pointless thread.

But I'm bored of the arguing turning nasty but don't feel quite up to going back to the regular discussions on style and beauty yet

I'm still planning to vote labour in the hope of getting the 'free owl for every family' pledge from the last election

Labour will give spiders the same rights as humans and if you squish one you will be jailed for murder.

Lib Dems will put small ass spiders in all of your bathrooms, but they will apologise while doing so.

TM will say she will put spiders in all your bathrooms but then when the press object she will cap the size of spider at an unspecified size.

Ah, I'd vote for that. What do we want?
Rights for spiders!
When do we want them?
NOW!

Can I lightheartedly say your examples read as a dig either way, O
P? :)

If the Tories do introduce spiders into our bathrooms with Labour object if I set up a spider hunting company? I promise to flush them out with hounds and not flush them down the toilet.

Are they immigrant spiders?

You can't have human rights for spiders!

Before you know it those big foreign fuckers will be coming over 'ere, taking our flies.

Personally I'm glad ukip are saying there would be a points based system for arachnids.

It should be based on how many legs the country needs.

Well said OP

Nice kne killdora

One

One

Fucking one

For gods sake!!!!

I'm still planning to vote labour in the hope of getting the 'free owl for every family' pledge from the last election

stamps foot I want a uni ornamental not am owl

*unicorn FFS

That's alright Rufus.

The MLP party are going to change the spelling of 'one' to 'kne' anyway.

HEY RufusTheRenegadeReindeer do you think you will get your dinosaur analogy on this thread?

Oooh thats a thought mousse

And if piglet is getting a unicorn i want a real dinosaur

I told dd that white horses were unicorns whose horns had fallen off

She believed me

She is 15

Break it to me...she is going to be living with me for ever isn't she

With all of these policies favouring spiders, will flies and other insects also be given the opportunity to vote?

I have set up a thread specifically for Rufus to tell the dinosaur story.

But she has ignored it.

I am passively aggressively offended.

So if she asks, I'll say I'm "fine"

The BBC have reported that ther us to be a film adaptation of the general election.

The anonymous director, Mr. V.P has denied claims of any bias.

Free protein for the population!

What a compassionate policy - how can anyone say the Tories don't look after us?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fried_spider

The Green Party pledge to reverse climate change so dramatically that we get dinosaurs back for anyone that wants one or an analogy of one.

Are you alright smile

Will we be taxed on the dinosaurs?

Is this what the Green Party is sneaking in behind our backs?