The Tory's want to put big ass spiders in all of YOUR bathrooms!

[Killdora]

Did I get your attention?

It's all getting a bit heated in here isn't it? I know, I'm as guilty of it myself (no fanatic like a convert)

It's hard to remember that the 'lefty loony dipshits' or the 'heartless, right wing bastards' (delete as appropriate) are nice people too. Really, deep, deep down. Somewhere. Maybe.

I thought we could have a thread for a little bit of lighthearted relief to bring us all together again.

Rules:

1. Lighthearted. LIGHTHEARTED. It's a fucking order folks.

2. You can post any fake news shite you like, as long as it's not a real life dig. As an example:

'Labour have pledged to provide alll churches with a life sized statue of Corbyn, so that GEH saviour may be more accurately represented' is ok.

'Labour have pledged to provide all churches with a life sized statue of Corbyn, because they are all fucking delusional and think he's the saviour. Lefty twats.' is not in the spirit if the thread.

Yes this is a completely pointless thread.

But I'm bored of the arguing turning nasty but don't feel quite up to going back to the regular discussions on style and beauty yet

Honeyfur could be a vote winner

I feel you house said spider, do you get a relief on bedroom tax under Tory? That might sway a lot of votes ...

Ahem....

I ought to have been writing a winning Party Manifesto.

Honey fur and no dinosaur tax for everyone.
Free unicorns.
A fair point système for immigrant spiders.
means tested dragons. who wants my mother?

And voila!

That should say "if you house said spider".

Combination of wine and nursing poorly doggy on my knee 😭

What's wrong with your doggie?

Sickness and diarrhoea 😞 Poor baby

do you get a relief on bedroom tax under Tory?

I don't want any kind of relief under a Tory in a bedroom. Even if they have honey fur.

Poor doggie, I usually feed then plain rice for a couple of days when hat happens.

I'd vote for the chardonnay

Aaagggghh

I'd vote for that!!!!!!

And chardonnay

Well in the sun today they reckon labour has promised to extend the NHS to dogs so we have hope yet ... when asked how they'll find that, they said they'd consult their iPad and get back to us later ...

Thanks Chardonnay, I'll try that x

Oh thanks Rufus, we'll probably will be voting for different parties but I'm glad I have your vote for y Manifesto.

Yes, Phuq, but that's after they tax the dogs to provide a good service.

That manifesto would get my vote if I weren't an EU immigrant. I'm not a spider though, honest.

PhuqIt

Well in the sun today they reckon labour has promised to extend the NHS to dogs so we have hope yet

What about cats! There is a money tree out there and my cat deserves some of that cash.

But more dogs will be in work under Tory - doggie benefits are being capped so more insentive for them to get off their arses and work :-)

If I get a spider will I be entitled to an insect allowance and spider insurance?

Sorry, but cats are bastards.

I'm ending all free cat stuff.

PhuqIt I'd like to see them try to get cats working. Cats are such benefit scroungers.

If I get a spider will I be entitled to an insect allowance and spider insurance?

It's under cosiertion.

condiseraon

chardonnay

Cats get the same rights as foxes under Tory 🙊

See, this is how you write a Manifesto.
No one knows what you want to say.

PhuqIt.