Clare's Law - WWYD

[IppyDippyTippy]

My last relationship with the father of my DC was very abusive, and I'm terrified of starting something with someone else. I've been single for 4 years.

I've been on two dates with a really nice guy. On paper we're perfect for each other, and we chat for hours online. There's a real chance this could turn into something. He's very patient with me, as his DM was abused by both his father and his step father, so he understands. Him and his ex wife lost a baby, he's always wanted DC, and specifically wants to date some one with DC. He's met my DDs, and loves them.

What I'm confused about is whether, if this turns into something serious, I should ask him if I could do a Clare's Law check on him, given my history of DA, and that I have two young DDs to protect. I don't want to insult him, but if he has nothing to hide, then surely he won't mind. Or would he? Is it odd that he wants to date a woman with two young daughters?

WWYD? Would I BU to ask him?

Wow - OP his responses are so telling. There is just so much wrong with this. You certainly dodged a bullet!

Sorry OP hadn't read the full thread before I posted as I was so worried . 💐

Sounds like you've definitely dodged a bullet there op!

Now he's saying he hopes he didn't mislead me, as he quite clearly only wanted friendship. Yes, because that's why people are on dating sites lmao.

Isn't it funny how, once you see someone for what they are, they are so very transparent!

I'm not even bothering responding.

Wow he sounds totally messed up, and trying to blame it all on you. Yes you have dodged a bullet there.

I am so glad that you acted on your instincts OP. It may be beneficial do a bit of work on assertiveness before you date again though. Good luck.

I am currently doing a Self Esteem course Dione.

Good woman.

If you only know him via dating sites / facebook, now would be. perfect time to hit the 'block' button.

Definitely time to block.

Well done Ippy , agree you should block him.

OP, if you are afraid that you might be vulnerable to speaking to him again or him worming his way back in, I'd seriously consider calling SS for a chat. Explaining your fears to them. Almost like an additional parent looking in to make sure you don't do anything you would later regret.

Bottom line, the main priority is this very clear child molester not molesting your kids.

May I suggest, based on your instincts etc it may be worthwhile speaking to the admin of the dating site too. Awful if he has no wayward intentions I'm sure but if he has....

Ippy
I have read most of the posts and all I have to add is, trust your gut instinct, it is never wrong. :-)

This if fucking terrifying reading.

Glad OP has made clear resolution but genuinely utterly bewildered why OP would, after meeting guy once, want to then have as their '2nd date' one when her DC met the bloke? How/why did you even do ^that?*

You need to be able to answer that ^ to yourself before crack on with next bloke (IMHO),

Wow...really really lucky break there Ippy and really well done for seeking help and sorting it all out, I don't mean that to sound patronising x

What an absolute and utter creep, trying to gaslight you after all that crap. I would do as others have suggested and mention to the police and dating site admin, if nothing else at least you know you done what you can to help other women who might be vulnerable and not as strong as you've been x.

This IS terrifying reading.

You don't have to 'ask' to do a check do you?

I would do one anyway and just not n mention it. I think. Not the best way to start a relationship (no trust) but the welfare of my kids would be more important.

Wow that will teach me not to read the full thread before answering

Glad you have seen the light. Your subsequent posts do make him sound seriously dodgy as fuck...glad this was sorted.

I would be tempted to make a report to the dating site too tbh, he will just move onto the next vulnerable (in his eyes) woman and try this

I'm glad for you OP that in posting here has helped you to answer the questions you had going on in your head. I think some pp's have been a little harsh on you. The fact that you were questioning things enough to post on here to try and get some rational thinking was the right thing to do. Chalk this up to experience and best wishes for the future

He's just saying he found it "uncomfortable" with your DD's because "you" were involved in that OP

Just block and ignore him now, funny how he said it wasn't going anywhere and was just friendship, but the interest he took in your daughters...We all have said and know thats not right

Thank god,just block him and delete now, there is nothing to talk about with him

Bloody hell lippy you poor thing . Well done for listening to your instincts

That definitely moved very fast.