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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate spending time with my dcs?

201 replies

Backtohospitalagain · 28/05/2017 19:16

I know I'm completely unreasonable and awful and a shitty mum. I hope it's just a phase but I don't know.

I work and see them for about 2 hours in the morning and 3 hours before bed. Then all weekend. I can just about bear it during the week but weekends just drag and this weekend has been awful to be honest.

They are good children (1.5 and 3) but constantly hard work, I can't sit down for a second it seems. Another long day with them tomorrow.

I'm going to drink a bottle of wine to myself tonight as I just need to escape. Their dad (my DP) is here so they're safe even if I'm pissed.

I'm tired and aching and really fucking fed up.

OP posts:
MommaGee · 28/05/2017 19:19

Do you get any time out way from kids or work op? If DP is there then totally reasonable to leave him in charge and chill.

FreeSpiritJen · 28/05/2017 19:19

You sound a bit depressed hun. Flowers You don't spend enough time with them to be annoyed by them (IMO.) Many moms would be glad to come home and see their kids. Not saying that you are bad for not feeling this way, but it doesn't seem normal imho.

Do you enjoy your job?

Msqueen33 · 28/05/2017 19:19

I find weekends tough. I'm a sahm and my youngest two have disabilities. Weekends my routine is out of whack so I find it harder to be motivated. Plus it's very full on. My older two are 9,6 so a bit easier and youngest is 4. But it's quite tiring. But as my delightful mother says "That's parenting for you".

Have a glass of wine for me.

Bingeslayer · 28/05/2017 19:19

Wish I could say it gets easier,My 11 and 5 year old had me in tears today.i'm a single mum though and there's no escape 😔

BrutusMcDogface · 28/05/2017 19:20

What a shame! Little ones are relentless, though. Many people find their children become much more interesting when they are older and not as needy/physically demanding.

You work full time; do you get any time to yourself? I know that whole "me time" thing irritates some people but I go insane if I don't get it every now and then.

choccyfiend78 · 28/05/2017 19:21

My DS is almost 9 and at times I feel exactly the same. I think all parents go through that stage at some point.

Have your wine, go to sleep and re-evaluate in the morning xx

BrutusMcDogface · 28/05/2017 19:21

"You sound a bit depressed, hun"

😂

MinnowAndTheBear · 28/05/2017 19:22

What sort of thing makes your day easier? I always find that if we can get out of the house, to a country park etc the day goes a bit quicker and we all benefit from the fresh air.

Calvinlookingforhobbs · 28/05/2017 19:22

Your poor children.

BrutusMcDogface · 28/05/2017 19:24

Minnow, I agree. Maybe the op's partner could take the kids out for a few hours on a weekend to give her a break.

It's not that easy to enjoy very young children if you're totally cream crackered!

choccyfiend78 · 28/05/2017 19:24

I'm sorry cooking can you honestly tell me there has never been moment when you wished things were different? Everyone goes through it at some point I can guarantee!

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 28/05/2017 19:25

Your poor children

Ffs, let the poor woman vent without laying on a guilt trip.

Small children are hard work Flowers

choccyfiend78 · 28/05/2017 19:25

Sorry Calvin ( I blame autocorrect!)

TiredMumToTwo · 28/05/2017 19:25

I found that age really difficult, I was in the park this afternoon watching my nearly 5 year old play & enjoying not having to help her do everything & just watching her have fun by herself. There were some seriously knackered looking parents there with little ones who didn't get a second to sit down, I didn't envy them in the least. It'll get easier & more interesting as they get older.

missiondecision · 28/05/2017 19:26

Yanbu to feel that way. Ywbu if they overheard you say so.
Parenting is relentless, thankless and sometimes dull. I try to find something I enjoy to share with them. It makes it a little more interesting.

QuiteLikely5 · 28/05/2017 19:27

They are at an age where they need you a lot.

Can you take them to activities on a weekend? Or go out for a few hours without them

Biscusting · 28/05/2017 19:27

Working and juggling young kids is tiring and relentless. You need to share the load with your DP at the weekends. Take turns for lie ins, get DP to take the kids to the park in the morning and you do the afternoon shift. No use in you both being burnt out.

mynotsoperfectlife · 28/05/2017 19:27

they are odious little beasts at that age. Entirely self centred and it's all about them. Nothing to worry about!

HollyHopewell · 28/05/2017 19:27

You are not alone OP. Ages here between 2-7 and I feel terrible wishing the weekend away .

I am also half way through my bottle of wine and about to send DP out for a 2nd Halo

donajimena · 28/05/2017 19:28

I just knew that yours would be the ages you stated. I didn't enjoy that stage at all. I used to hate weekends. Its so much better now. Mine are 11 -13 but its been better for a long time! Probably from when the youngest started school.
When they are as small as yours it is survival until bed time. Lather, rinse repeat. I think its perfectly normal. You need time alone on the weekend. As a lone parent I never got it but I would have bitten someones hand off for some free time.
I also worked full time and absence didn't make the heart grow fonder!

missiondecision · 28/05/2017 19:28

Oh sorry , I just read the ages, emmm they are hard work at that age. It will pass.

Justtwoweeks · 28/05/2017 19:28

I think it's harder when you spend less time with them to be honest.

On all my maternity leaves I've been really knavkered etc but not found it as difficult. Once you are not used to having them all day long I think it's harder to then do the couple of hours IYSWIM. Sometimes when I'm finding it really tough I portion it out in time slots like I'm doing a task of some kind. E.g. Three hours in the park, half hour lunch, forty five mins of them entertaining themselves while I do some household chore (enforced and obviously I'm often mediating) and so on and so on.

I find if I try and have 'me' time (like at home, DH in charge for a bit while I read my book or something not true out of the house own time) I get much more frustrated and tired.

user1471558241 · 28/05/2017 19:29

I don't normally post, I'm a bit of a 'lurker' but the comments 'your poor kids' and 'are you a bit depressed hun? ' have pissed me off. What you are feeling is completely normal. Yes, you live your kids but their company , at their age is not the most captivating and it's relentless because you need eyes in the back of your head - which is exhausting and draining.

Try to get some time to yourself. Break the day up if you can, it gets better. Fast forward a few years, you will be pleading with them to spend time with you.

MaQueen · 28/05/2017 19:29

I remember when weekends used to drag because I was toddler wrangling from dawn til dusk...but it does get so much easier, it really does.

I think I only truly started to enjoy parenting when our DDs turned 3, or so. And ever since it has just got easier and easier, and nowadays (they're both in their early teens) it's just a joy.

I took them both shopping yesterday, we stopped for lunch, all very relaxing and civilised. This morning DD2 made us all American pancakes for breakfast, and DD1 has just made us both a cup of tea.

I love being a parent now Wink

BlurryFace · 28/05/2017 19:29

Kids that age are hard work, I know DH finds it hard to come home from a demanding job to tantrums over tea and bedtime and I find it hard too as a SAHM.

Sometimes I really do get fed up when I have to stand to drink a cuppa because if I sit on the sofa they'll be bickering over who gets to sit in my lap. Is there anyone who can give you and your DP a night off together?