My neighbour has complained to my managing agent!

[HappyGoLuckyGirl]

This is going to be long so apologies!

I moved in to my current house at the end of January.

Within a month or so I had my next door neighbour come banging on my door about 11.30pm at night telling me to move my car and being very unreasonable in his behaviour and attitude towards me. There was a thread on here about it.

They have consistently been aggressive towards me, especially the bloke as he has tried to intimidate me and threaten to have my car towed etc. I've only ever parked behind our houses twice since I've lived here, to avoid the drama! They also bang on the party wall if I ever have music on or a movie, or even if my 4 year old child cries.

I've put some artificial grass down in my back Garden, bought a patio set and a nice little chiminea to enjoy the lovely weather we've been having. Yesterday I got the paddling pool and sprinkler out for my DS and next door neighbours were out in their back garden making really loud passive aggressive comments about noise. This was about 5pm!

After DS went to his dad's for the night I had some friends round and we were all sat outside enjoying the weather, having food and drinks etc. There were 5 of us, including myself. I had music on from a Bluetooth speaker but it wasn't loud as it was on the table and we didn't have to strain to hear each other or shout or anything.

Anyway about 10.30pm she yelled from her bathroom window to shut the fuck up and slammed it shut. Then reopened it I obviously explained to my friends about their behaviour and I wasn't very nice in describing them and they most likely listened or heard.

Two friends left at 11pm and the three of us left went inside about 11.30pm roughly and went to bed.

Anyway my managing agents called me this morning to say they received an email complaint about noise last night. I explained I'd had difficulties with them since moving in and explained the bbq last night with four friends etc. I also told them of their constant banging on the wall and car parking fiasco. He sounded quite sympathetic and said there wasn't much they could do even if I was being disruptive. I also told them that my other neighbours are lovely and we get on well even though they are in their sixties! And they have never said I'm too noisy or anything. In fact they told me that everyone in the row of terraces get along well apart from that one couple as they don't like socialising and hate any sort of noisy activities.

I told the managing agent to tell next door neighbour to call the police if they are so concerned with my noise levels, as I know the police would most likely tell them to get a grip.

I've got another bbq this evening with 3 other friends and I'm anxious they are going to kick off with me or report me again! Even though I'm not actually being disruptive they just expect total silence!

How should I handle this? I'm a single mother in my mid twenties and they are easily mid forties and the bloke is very intimidating.

If people are so bothered by other people's noise then why not move to an isolated cottage in the middle of nowhere where.

Because some people dont have that choice. Why don't the noisy neighbours go and live in an isolated cottage somewhere instead?

Because these neighbours appear to object to anything the op does that makes any amount of noise like watching tv or her child crying or where her car is parked.

I have lived everywhere and in anything from a studio flat in a riot zone to a flat that had the Saturday nights entertainment of our upstairs neighbours stopping traffic because they were rolling in the middle of the road trying to kill each other every Saturday night to a detached house in the country. There is noise everywhere.
ATM I live in a detached house and hear my neighbours parties every Saturday night or Sunday afternoon till late. I couldn't imagine telling them to shut up. Neither would I expect them to go indoors.
Maybe I should go and block the Motorway at the bottom of the road because I am out in my garden and I have to have peace and quiet.

Does everyone on mumsnet sit in their garden in total silence

OP, I think that's the perfect compromise. I can't see that they'd have much to complain about if all's (relatively) quiet by 9pm. I think that's very reasonable.

I've just arrived at my holiday caravan to discover the caravan on one side is insisting on playing their shite music outside. If I chose to sit outside and play my music at the same volume would they cancel each other out? Wish I'd suggested DD had brought her speaker.

Normal noise is kids playing til a reasonable hour, people having a chat whilst sunbathing or having a couple of drinks. Loads of you in a yard being loud til 11pm, smoking, no doubt getting loud and pissed and putting music on that other people no doubt find shit is just selfish. You can't do that in a terraced house garden ffs If you want to do these things then go to a beer garden or to a friend who has a garden that is big enough not to bother other people!

Yeah my sis and I stayed in a hut at a campsite and the next hut played their music all evening. Not appropriate at all! They were the only ones in the whole field though so most folks are reasonable.

Because these neighbours appear to object to anything the op does that makes any amount of noise like watching tv or her child crying or where her car is parked.

They really don't. They just get justifiably annoyed at the fact these sort of neighbours cant even have the common decency to warn people. As I stated previously. Our neighbours come and go at all times of the day and night because of their shiftwork. Annoying? Yes. Do I complain about it? Of course not. It was only a few weeks ago the neighbours kids were out on the garden screaming their head off in excitement, so was their dad who was playing with them. Again. I didn't complain. I'd seen the mum take their baby away in an ambulance the night before on my way to bed (we share a garden path so spotted as I looked out). So he was just doing his best to keep things normal for their DCs. Even if I didn't know about the baby being in hospital I still wouldn't have complained.

Whilst I've already stated myself in this thread the neighbours are unreasonable for wanting the kids and general play noise to be stopped, they're not unreasonable for wanting to limit the noise and amount of times the OP has 'small gatherings'.

The house a few doors down from me likes to have small gatherings like this. The music went on til god knows when. Eventually quitened down. Then they were out in their garden talking til gone 5 in the morning. He's one of those people who doesn't realise how loud he is when he talks, and I'm partially deaf so if it's loud to me, it's loud to others. He woke both my DCs up that morning. On my street there's a mix of young families, and pensioners and some young families with newborns, others who still have work.

In my case. Both DCs bedrooms back out on to all the gardens. A neighbour having the common courtesy to tell me, and the neighbour with the newborn etc etc means we can put the DCs in the front room with us for the night away from the music, and you can all still be in your garden to your hearts content.

*Because these neighbours appear to object to anything the op does that makes any amount of noise like watching tv or her child crying or where her car is parked.

They really don't*

But they do. Read the op.

I have thanks Oliver. I've addressed the OP several times. Maybe read my posts again?

Your neighbours sound like absolute arseholes OP, that said I wouldn't appreciate people getting pissed and having music on until 11.30pm. After 9pm in built up areas you have to understand that people have small children/work the next day (yes even at the weekend) or even just the right to sit in their own homes without being disturbed by 5 pissed people.