Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My neighbour has complained to my managing agent!

210 replies

HappyGoLuckyGirl · 27/05/2017 14:43

This is going to be long so apologies! Blush

I moved in to my current house at the end of January.

Within a month or so I had my next door neighbour come banging on my door about 11.30pm at night telling me to move my car and being very unreasonable in his behaviour and attitude towards me. There was a thread on here about it.

They have consistently been aggressive towards me, especially the bloke as he has tried to intimidate me and threaten to have my car towed etc. I've only ever parked behind our houses twice since I've lived here, to avoid the drama! They also bang on the party wall if I ever have music on or a movie, or even if my 4 year old child cries.

I've put some artificial grass down in my back Garden, bought a patio set and a nice little chiminea to enjoy the lovely weather we've been having. Yesterday I got the paddling pool and sprinkler out for my DS and next door neighbours were out in their back garden making really loud passive aggressive comments about noise. This was about 5pm!

After DS went to his dad's for the night I had some friends round and we were all sat outside enjoying the weather, having food and drinks etc. There were 5 of us, including myself. I had music on from a Bluetooth speaker but it wasn't loud as it was on the table and we didn't have to strain to hear each other or shout or anything.

Anyway about 10.30pm she yelled from her bathroom window to shut the fuck up and slammed it shut. Then reopened it Confused I obviously explained to my friends about their behaviour and I wasn't very nice in describing them and they most likely listened or heard.

Two friends left at 11pm and the three of us left went inside about 11.30pm roughly and went to bed.

Anyway my managing agents called me this morning to say they received an email complaint about noise last night. I explained I'd had difficulties with them since moving in and explained the bbq last night with four friends etc. I also told them of their constant banging on the wall and car parking fiasco. He sounded quite sympathetic and said there wasn't much they could do even if I was being disruptive. I also told them that my other neighbours are lovely and we get on well even though they are in their sixties! And they have never said I'm too noisy or anything. In fact they told me that everyone in the row of terraces get along well apart from that one couple as they don't like socialising and hate any sort of noisy activities.

I told the managing agent to tell next door neighbour to call the police if they are so concerned with my noise levels, as I know the police would most likely tell them to get a grip.

I've got another bbq this evening with 3 other friends and I'm anxious they are going to kick off with me or report me again! Even though I'm not actually being disruptive they just expect total silence!

How should I handle this? I'm a single mother in my mid twenties and they are easily mid forties and the bloke is very intimidating.

OP posts:
PunkrockerGirl · 27/05/2017 20:49

I have to get up for work at 5.45am
Any talking/music outside after 9pm would piss me right off, tbh.
OP don't fall into the MN trap of assuming that everyone works Mon-Fri 9-5.
Just because it's a weekend, don't assume that everyone will have a lie-in tomorrow.

somerandomfucker · 27/05/2017 20:53

I would not change my lifestyle to suit a neighbour who is rude and banging on about noise. My dad did shift work his entire life and not once did he bang on about the neighbours noise. It was his lifestyle so he adjusted to it very well indeed.

somerandomfucker · 27/05/2017 20:55

Oh and just to add he was a police inspector with the Met

drinkingtea · 27/05/2017 20:59

Exactly Sommer - I get up at 5am, I'm at work for 6am (only work one weekend per month now, used to do more weekends). That doesn't mean I think my neighbors shouldn't use their garden in the evenings!

BlondeB83 · 27/05/2017 21:00

IMO they need to get a life! Either ignore them or invite them round for a glass of wine and see what happens.

Kennethwasmyfriend · 27/05/2017 21:03

I wonder what happens in a row of houses when everyone exercises their right to play music in the garden? Whose music gets to "win" - do you just keep turning it up until you can hear it?

Lostwithinthehills · 27/05/2017 21:04

I still don't see why being under thirty is a justification for noise, or why bring a single mum is now being presented as a justification. I haven't suggested that anyone should be 'quiet all the time' but as I mentioned up thread I think 10pm is a reasonable time to head indoors. Also in my first post I acknowledged that these particular neighbours have probably forfeited being taken seriously, however, the op has other neighbours and even if one set politely told her she didn't bother them it was clear they could hear her chatting.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 27/05/2017 21:08

People sitting chatting outside until a reasonable hour - fine.
Music outside - not fine.
It seems to have become very normal for people to inflict their music on others in shared spaces. In the last 5 years or so - presumably with the spread of smartphones - it's become a lot more normal, or so it seems, for people to not use headphones when listening to music on public transport. Most will turn it off when asked, tbf, but it astonishes me that anyone would think it OK in the first place. And with this seems to have come the notion of the acceptability of having music blaring out in your garden. Playing an instrument is one thing, but music via speakers is another.

The neighbours sound as if they don't like you and will pull you up on anything they can, reasonable or not. They sound awful, but don't give them ammunition. If they have a reasonable complaint (and to my mind the music is one) it lends legitimacy, if only in their eyes, to their bonkers complaints (the rest of them, although obv don't know the parking situation).

BlackeyedSusan · 27/05/2017 21:27

you need to avoid a reasonable complaint, so avoid:
child playing loudly (hammering the partition wall, screaming etc)
music outside after 10
chatting outside after 10
loud music anytime

otherwise normal play, normal use of garden, quiet music, etc

they sound the sort that will make a complaint. you need to not give them any evidence.

CressidaTheHeathen · 27/05/2017 21:29

Jesus Christ. Let's all tiptoe around and make no noise at all in case someone wants an early night Hmm

Enjoy your party OP. Anyone whinging about garden noise before 11PM is a tad batshit IMO.

We had a gathering of four last night. Our neighbours saw and popped over too. It was great. And there was music until 11PM. Shock, horror.

HectorHedgehog · 27/05/2017 21:36

No they are not - they might have a different life than you. Some people have to get up very early on a Saturday morning to go to work.

wildcoffeeandbeans · 27/05/2017 21:58

I feel like I live in a different world than most of these posters. My neighbours have weekend garden parties with music and the lot often throughout the summer, usually running late into the evening (after midnight). I never thought to complain! It can be annoying but it's nice that they're living their lives and having a good time. Weekends are fair game, imo.

SSYMONDS · 27/05/2017 22:00

My neighbours have friends round to eat in their garden practically every time it's sunny. You can hear them chat and play music from my kitchen. They always seem to be having a lovely relaxed time and I like them. Why do people think they can control others to this extent?!
Your neighbours sound awful. Poor you.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 27/05/2017 22:05

Jesus Christ. Let's all tiptoe around and make no noise at all in case someone wants an early night

Yes. Silly entitled people who still work weekends and bank holidays, and god forbid even nights and early shift patterns. How dare they expect people to be 'tiptoe around' at nearly midnight. Confused

AwaywiththePixies27 · 27/05/2017 22:13

To the pp mentioning their Dad was an Inspector in the Met. That's his opinion. Three of my neighbours work nights. All leave at different times, one leaves at 10pm, another leaves at 1am and the 3rd at 4am, I can set my watch my them as they park their vehicles outside my house.

So yeah quite a few of us happen to be a 'tad batshit' and think it's only nice to be courteous to neighbours. The one that leaves at 4am works weekends and bank holidays too.

Not quite sure what batshit excuse of being a single mum has to do with it? Given I'm also a single mum and I've never disturbed my neighbours like this, also, no I don't give a toss if that makes me a 'fucking bore'.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 27/05/2017 22:14

*by them not my.

OP I think they're being unreasonable about the noisy play but not so much the late night music.

Garnethair · 27/05/2017 22:37

Children playing in the garden (not screaming just playing) during the day, perfectly acceptable. Music in the garden not necessary. Keeping neighbours awake with music late at night - unkind. Sleep deprivation is torture.

Allthebestnamesareused · 27/05/2017 23:02

Seriously no authority (police or environmental health) are going to log music noise before 11pm as a nuisance. It doesn't sound as if OP and her 4 friends were having the rave of the century merely chatting and enjoying the lovely evening with background noise. The neighbours are the one who sound entitled!

FreeNiki · 27/05/2017 23:07

I think the OP and everyone on this thread is underestimating how much noise 5 women in their 20s, drinking and playing music were making. Unless the garden is several acres in space they will have been right under everyone elses windows.
The noise from 5 voices alone will not have been insignifcant.

elgwyn · 28/05/2017 00:07

I would log it with the police as harrassment. The police are great and can warn your neighbours to leave you alone. I'd also record every single incident (with the date) of your neighbours harrassing you as proof should it be needed of their continuing harrassment.

Of course you're allowed to park in your own drive and chat in your own garden. Don't think for one moment that they have any right whatsoever to make you stop that.

HeddaGarbled · 28/05/2017 00:36

I think anyone who plays music in their garden at any time of day or night is selfish and inconsiderate.

Barbecue and/or friends round on a Saturday night and sitting in the garden up to about 11.00, bearable if it's not every Saturday. Any other night of the week, selfish and inconsiderate.

Coneheadmum · 28/05/2017 02:59

People with a glass of wine or two in them often misjudge how loud their music and voices are outside at night. Two nights in a row.
I would be careful tonight, just go inside around 10. You don't want the neighbor wars. On the other hand, if they complain at 5pm, then I would be firm - you and your daughter can enjoy the garden at 5pm FFS.

emmyrose2000 · 28/05/2017 04:00

I think anyone who plays music in their garden at any time of day or night is selfish and inconsiderate

Agreed.

What might be a "quiet chat amongst friends" to you, OP, is more likely a horrible noisy racket to the suffering neighbours. Stop being so rude and selfish.

SuperBeagle · 28/05/2017 04:41

I've reported my neighbours for having loud outdoor parties and having their music loud enough that I could hear it. People don't realise how noise carries or don't care and it's annoying as fuck when you're trying to watch a movie or something and the neighbours music is banging away in the background. Or, like my old neighbours, one of them had the most loud, obnoxious laugh which I think you could've heard in China.

So, they are not being unreasonable to be annoyed about that. There's nothing more irritating than noisy neighbours.

Beerwench · 28/05/2017 05:05

" I think anyone who plays music in their garden at any time of day or night is selfish and inconsiderate."

Agreed - I don't want to listen to others music and I don't expect them to listen to mine either.

"Barbecue and/or friends round on a Saturday night and sitting in the garden up to about 11.00, bearable if it's not every Saturday. Any other night of the week, selfish and inconsiderate."

I'd agree with that statement if it weren't for the last sentence. Why would any other night of the week be more selfish and inconsiderate than a Saturday? Not everyone has Sunday off and I think it's a bit inconsiderate to assume it's OK to disturb anyone on a Saturday night, because it's Saturday night.