My neighbour has complained to my managing agent!

[HappyGoLuckyGirl]

This is going to be long so apologies!

I moved in to my current house at the end of January.

Within a month or so I had my next door neighbour come banging on my door about 11.30pm at night telling me to move my car and being very unreasonable in his behaviour and attitude towards me. There was a thread on here about it.

They have consistently been aggressive towards me, especially the bloke as he has tried to intimidate me and threaten to have my car towed etc. I've only ever parked behind our houses twice since I've lived here, to avoid the drama! They also bang on the party wall if I ever have music on or a movie, or even if my 4 year old child cries.

I've put some artificial grass down in my back Garden, bought a patio set and a nice little chiminea to enjoy the lovely weather we've been having. Yesterday I got the paddling pool and sprinkler out for my DS and next door neighbours were out in their back garden making really loud passive aggressive comments about noise. This was about 5pm!

After DS went to his dad's for the night I had some friends round and we were all sat outside enjoying the weather, having food and drinks etc. There were 5 of us, including myself. I had music on from a Bluetooth speaker but it wasn't loud as it was on the table and we didn't have to strain to hear each other or shout or anything.

Anyway about 10.30pm she yelled from her bathroom window to shut the fuck up and slammed it shut. Then reopened it I obviously explained to my friends about their behaviour and I wasn't very nice in describing them and they most likely listened or heard.

Two friends left at 11pm and the three of us left went inside about 11.30pm roughly and went to bed.

Anyway my managing agents called me this morning to say they received an email complaint about noise last night. I explained I'd had difficulties with them since moving in and explained the bbq last night with four friends etc. I also told them of their constant banging on the wall and car parking fiasco. He sounded quite sympathetic and said there wasn't much they could do even if I was being disruptive. I also told them that my other neighbours are lovely and we get on well even though they are in their sixties! And they have never said I'm too noisy or anything. In fact they told me that everyone in the row of terraces get along well apart from that one couple as they don't like socialising and hate any sort of noisy activities.

I told the managing agent to tell next door neighbour to call the police if they are so concerned with my noise levels, as I know the police would most likely tell them to get a grip.

I've got another bbq this evening with 3 other friends and I'm anxious they are going to kick off with me or report me again! Even though I'm not actually being disruptive they just expect total silence!

How should I handle this? I'm a single mother in my mid twenties and they are easily mid forties and the bloke is very intimidating.

FFS here we go again . Attack the poster ! All the TIME this occurs

OP you are not being unreasonable at all . .Some are arseholes

Don't know why crying child is a problem, but I live in terrace house and our new neighbors are in their 20, they tend to party outside with friends, not large groups, just 4-6 of them. Just chatting and laughing is enough not to let us sleep.

the only time I've felt the need to make a noise complaint was over my neighbours dogs, but it took 18 months of near constant barking and not even being able to walk around in my own garden without being barked at to get to that point!

I don't think the OP is being unreasonable, I don't think she was making too much or even an unusual amount of noise. Her neighbours are being ridiculous.

I would turn the music off by 10pm though, I think music later than that is a little bit unreasonable.

sunshine it was just an observation from my own life, some of my family members feel the chill even in summer so even in this heat windows open wouldn't be necessary. I wasn't being ageist. I am very conscious of discrimination and that was not how my post was intended.

daisypond

So, no music if you have a BBQ at 3pm on Saturday afternoon in the lovely sunshine with family, friends and children? unless prior arrangement with the neighbours

What a miserable existence

Really glad I don't live anywhere near you

Being 'elderly' and retired I'm less likely to complain as I do not have to get up in the morning for work. When I did, however I worked shifts which necessitated going to bed at 9.30pm as I had to get up very early. I also worked weekends and bank holidays. Personally I am not very noise sensitive but some varieties of music I find very annoying. Loudness and lateness are subjective - do your neighbours work shifts? Do either of them work nights? Hot nights are lovely in the garden but mean they probably need their windows open to sleep. You really need to put yourself in their shoes a bit

Tent - no-one where I live would play music if they had a barbecue in the afternoon. They'd have people round, sure, laughing and chatting, but no music. No misery at all.

And tent again shift workers may be trying to sleep at this time, even on sunny Saturday afternoons - which is why it's a good idea to discuss first!

I agree with you OP, bar the music. It's not really necessary is it? I think music til 10 is too late I'd turn it off about 8.

Apologies if someone has already said this, however Councils must look into complaints about noise that could be a‘statutory nuisance’(covered by theEnvironmental Protection Act 1990).

For the noise to count as a statutory nuisance it must do one of the following:

• unreasonably and substantially interfere with the use or enjoyment of a home or other premises

• injure health or be likely to injure health

To deal with complaints about noise that’s louder than a permitted level at night (from 11pm to 7am) councils can issue a warning.

This is an excerpt from the gov.uk website. A party in your garden, talking and quiet music before 11pm probably will not be taken seriously at all. Living in a terrace or flat you are always likely to encounter noise of habitation - you wouldn't think anything of hoovering at 3pm but the person next door/below who works nights may have a different view. It's not actionable but it can be frustrating and annoying.

On the other hand - threatening behaviour is a criminal offence.

I'd try and be mindful of your neighbours obvious desire for less habitation noise, be considerate, dont play music outside later on in the evening, but get on with life and call 101 to report any future acts of aggression.

I'd drop the music, the tinny rasp of a Bluetooth speaker can be as annoying as the loud base at a proper party.

My neighbours are very loud. They have 3 children and (it seems) the rest of the neighbourhood playing in their garden from 3:00 til 9:30 .
They play music, quite loudly...I'm currently sitting inside wth all my windows and doors shut because they have just lit a wood-burning barbecue. I had to go and get my washing in.
I know they think we are unreasonable, but I think they are. I wouldn't dream of inflicting the things We have to put up with on them. Especially the incessant noise of kids screaming and shouting at each other! No one tells them to quieten down, ever.Then there's the weed smoking, the smell of which drifts into my house...
I don't want to listen to their music, why should all the neighbours have to? It is totally unnecessary to have music on in an ordinary back garden. If you have a huge garden or country estate well that's a different matter.
There are just some things you shouldn't inflict on others.

If people are all chatting though-is the music really necessary?

Our neighbours have a habit of the radio on & talking over it & I do find myself thinking FFS, just turn it off!

The music wouldn't bother me. The chatting at 1030 at night, which then continued until 1130 would drive me bonkers! That is too late, and inconsiderate to your neighbours.

Them complaining about your son at 5pm is unreasonable. But you were last night too. Tonight, go inside around 10?

Sorry, but ime, this can be really annoying. We live in a terrace and our previous neighbours used to do this as soon as they weather was warm and sunny. They'd barbecue when we had washing on the line, and not bother warning us so all our clothes stank of barbecue. They'd have a few mates round and sit-in the garden drinking and talking til late. They probably thought, like the opposite, that it was reasonable and that they didn't have to strain to hear each other talking. Trouble was, neither did we! We could hear the entire conversation because they got louder and louder as the night went on. It meant that on boiling hot nights, we had to have the doors and windows closed so that we could sleep.
I'm sure you think you are being reasonable, OP, but maybe you need to be a bit more considerate. Not being able to sleep is hellish, especially if they have work the next day.

you were outside drinking with friends with the music on until 11:30pm? Yes, you were unreasonable.

Your neighbours are wrong to complain about your 4 year old, I can't comment on music or tv. If the TV set is against the wall, it is very possible too loud. Next time they complain about the indoor noise, you could ask to come in their home to hear how bad it is. Sometimes you have nasty surprises.

it is very inconsiderate to be loud outside so late. Would you like to have to keep your kids'windows shut because of the noise, and would you like noise from your neighbours to keep your child awake until midnight?

It's interesting that the aggressive male neighbour didn't come hammering on the door when there were witnesses and the OP wasn't alone. They sound like bullies.

I had the same thought: they're happy to bully a single woman on her own with a young child, but zip it when there are others around?

You have a right to live your life and use your garden. You sound considerate and sensible, OP, whereas your neighbours sounds like they feel entitled to silence in cramped terrace housing. They are unreasonable, not you. Keep track of their threatening behaviour, etc, and report them for harassment if it continues.

Check home insurance if you can get legal advice to stop harrasment, or just tell them to keep their nose out.

I don't get why people who prefer silence trump those who don't. It's normal to be outside and enjoying yourself in nice weather. If others don't fancy it fine, but why should they get to tell people who do to stop? Yanbu op. Your neighbours sound awful.

Sounds like six of one half a dozen of the other.

They sound intolerant, moaning about a child crying or playing is silly, otoh you sound a nuisance, I'd hate it if my neighbours were out until 11pm, it would drive me mad.

Music and people outside chatting past 9.30/10 would drive me insane to be honest. Once every so often I could just about tolerate (like once or twice during the summer) but to do it back to back would personally make me really angry. Lots of people want to go to bed earlier nowadays, people work shifts and have children that don't sleep well (like my 5 year old ds with autism who wouldn't have slept at all if you were our neighbours). I think it's a bit inconsiderate to be honest.

But the rest.... well they're being silly. Paddling pool noise and general daytime noise is part and parcel of living next to people.

Any music that is overheard is annoying so fine to sit out, chat, BBQ but no one wants to hear someone else's music. That would drive me nuts at any time of day.

Clearly their complaints about you watching TV and your child crying are ridiculous. Chatting outside late at night and playing music, maybe not so much. Noise carries more and is more intrusive when it is generally quieter. Once people have had a drink, quiet talking can be anything but. Consider turning the music off by nine for the sake of neighbourly relations.

I used to live next door to a truly vile couple who at the first sign of sun at the weekend would be outside in their yard drinking and smoking and it made my garden unpleasant to be in rather than a haven as the noise and the swearing increased over the course of the day. Boy was I glad to move.

I'm at the number of posters who think it is ok to play music in their garden for hours on end. I love sitting in my garden on a warm summers evening, as do all my neighbours. Why should we have that spoilt because one person thinks it is ok to inflict their own personal choice of music on the rest of us? Fortunately, all my neighbours feel the same as me so we can ALL enjoy the weather.

I don't get why people who prefer silence trump those who don't.

my silence doesn't disturb you or keep you awake, that's why. Did you really need to ask?