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AIBU?

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Original poster

My neighbour has complained to my managing agent!

210 replies

HappyGoLuckyGirl · 27/05/2017 14:43

This is going to be long so apologies! Blush

I moved in to my current house at the end of January.

Within a month or so I had my next door neighbour come banging on my door about 11.30pm at night telling me to move my car and being very unreasonable in his behaviour and attitude towards me. There was a thread on here about it.

They have consistently been aggressive towards me, especially the bloke as he has tried to intimidate me and threaten to have my car towed etc. I've only ever parked behind our houses twice since I've lived here, to avoid the drama! They also bang on the party wall if I ever have music on or a movie, or even if my 4 year old child cries.

I've put some artificial grass down in my back Garden, bought a patio set and a nice little chiminea to enjoy the lovely weather we've been having. Yesterday I got the paddling pool and sprinkler out for my DS and next door neighbours were out in their back garden making really loud passive aggressive comments about noise. This was about 5pm!

After DS went to his dad's for the night I had some friends round and we were all sat outside enjoying the weather, having food and drinks etc. There were 5 of us, including myself. I had music on from a Bluetooth speaker but it wasn't loud as it was on the table and we didn't have to strain to hear each other or shout or anything.

Anyway about 10.30pm she yelled from her bathroom window to shut the fuck up and slammed it shut. Then reopened it Confused I obviously explained to my friends about their behaviour and I wasn't very nice in describing them and they most likely listened or heard.

Two friends left at 11pm and the three of us left went inside about 11.30pm roughly and went to bed.

Anyway my managing agents called me this morning to say they received an email complaint about noise last night. I explained I'd had difficulties with them since moving in and explained the bbq last night with four friends etc. I also told them of their constant banging on the wall and car parking fiasco. He sounded quite sympathetic and said there wasn't much they could do even if I was being disruptive. I also told them that my other neighbours are lovely and we get on well even though they are in their sixties! And they have never said I'm too noisy or anything. In fact they told me that everyone in the row of terraces get along well apart from that one couple as they don't like socialising and hate any sort of noisy activities.

I told the managing agent to tell next door neighbour to call the police if they are so concerned with my noise levels, as I know the police would most likely tell them to get a grip.

I've got another bbq this evening with 3 other friends and I'm anxious they are going to kick off with me or report me again! Even though I'm not actually being disruptive they just expect total silence!

How should I handle this? I'm a single mother in my mid twenties and they are easily mid forties and the bloke is very intimidating.

OP posts:
migrating · 27/05/2017 18:17

But if they pursue in harassing you over this issue, you will make a complaint to the police.

call the police because neighbours complain about your loud noise and music? (neighbour who waited until 10:30 to complain, most people would not have been that patient btw). Of course, please do just that.

BMW6 · 27/05/2017 18:25

I think a fair compromise would be to go inside at 10pm. Chatting and quietish music outside until then is reasonable IMO. However - not night after night.......

muckypup73 · 27/05/2017 18:37

We have neighbours who often like to pinch our parking space, so once I had a go at her, we have children outside our house sceaming their heads of and wiening and shouting at the top of their voices, often for hours on end because one of the mums cannot be bothered taking her child anywhere and now the summer holidays will soon be upon us and it will be hell on earth and then the one that think its ok for her family and friends to continously park in our space is a major shit stirrer.

ShinyGirl · 27/05/2017 18:44

11 30 is late to have music on outside if they've got kids.

somerandomfucker · 27/05/2017 18:55

What fucking bores!

Carry on as you are, they have the issue with disliking your noise. So best get some wicked one-liners ready or facts re nuisance noise etc!
Don't let them get to you, you're young so carry on having fun and social times in your own garden! Sod them !

gleam · 27/05/2017 18:57

I hate music in the garden. Next door to us is an older couple who had barbeques and music every day at 11.30 sharp plus evening barbeques with music, loud drunken laughter from them and their friends and a yappy little dog.
Fortunately, they have fewer barbeques now, their friends have moved to Spain and the dog died of old age.

Don't underestimate how annoying a few friends, a bbq and music can be, op.

ptumbi · 27/05/2017 19:03

It's 1030! It's NOT midnight!

It's 5 women talking! Not a group of 100 blokes shouting!

My neighbours have kids, trampoline, dogs, cats, chickens, ducks (even a cockerel at one point ffs ) - at NO TIME did I even think about complaining. Their dog barks, the cats shit in my garden, the radio is on all day in the garden to scare the fox away from the chickens; it's life. Life is noisy sometimes.

OP - your neighbours are dicks. So long as it's not every evening, or even every weekend, I think 1030 is fine.

user1471545174 · 27/05/2017 19:07

Sorry, music in the garden is a major pain in the arse. You lost me at that point.

Trifleorbust · 27/05/2017 19:11

I think your proposal to turn the music off at 10-11pm because the weather is nice is quite rude, to be honest. If they can hear it from inside their house it is far too loud. And by 10pm I am well away most nights - I really, really hate being disturbed by noise at night.

Coastalcommand · 27/05/2017 19:22

I'd hate it if my next door neighbour did the same. The music in particular it would be a problem but also even five people drunkenly chatting and laughing can be loud, particularly Later on when children might be in bed.

Phoebefromfriends · 27/05/2017 19:26

I would rather listen to five women chatting in a garden than my neighbour faking an orgasm regularly at 4am that's probably not helpful but I'm still scarred by my neighbours sex life that went on for nearly a year

PeanutButterBunny · 27/05/2017 19:31

YABU. I wouldn't turn on music in my garden at all. Not everyone had the same taste. Why inflict that on your neighbors?

MsMims · 27/05/2017 19:42

I think it's a certain type of person who bangs on walls and shouts things out of windows instead of knocking on the door and asking politely.

I would consider reporting them for harassment, keep a log of every incident so far and in the future. They don't have the right to shout at you to 'shut the fuck up'. Especially not when your child could easily overhear too.

MsMims · 27/05/2017 19:44

Oh and while music in the garden is a bit selfish if it's only a couple of times a year, not every weekend, then their reaction is OTT.

Trifleorbust · 27/05/2017 19:44

Exactly, Coastal. I would be kept awake by it.

Given about half of the people on the thread think loudish noise after 9pm is rude, OP, could you consider turning the music off after that time instead? Most people are winding down by then, kids are in bed, people who work early shifts might well be trying to get their beauty sleep.

Lostwithinthehills · 27/05/2017 19:56

you're young so carry on

I keep being sucked back on to this thread. Why does being 25 mean you don't need to be considerate towards your neighbours?

they have the issue with disliking your noise

Yes, the op is imposing noise on her neighbours, why should they like it?

FreeNiki · 27/05/2017 19:59

I wouldn't class 5 women having a bbq and some wine a party.

I would and with music too Confused

Your ages are totally irrelevant. Please remember this thread when you are over 40 and you realise it isnt old.

FanjoForTheMammaries · 27/05/2017 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Arthur2shedsJackson · 27/05/2017 20:03

Picture the scene. A very very hot summer some years ago. It was a Wednesday. A note came through the door from the lady of the house of the big smart property we backed on to, saying that she was giving a little party for her husband's birthday that evening and she REALLY hoped we wouldn't be disturbed. How charming, we thought.
Put the kids to bed - windows open wide because of the heat and DH and I sat in the garden with a glass of wine enjoying the party at second hand. Some gentle background music, the low hum of conversation - hey, we were at a posh party without having to get dressed up or buy a present! As the evening progressed so did the intensity of the noise. The low hum became shrieks and whoops of laughter. The music got louder. The kids woke up and couldn't go back to sleep, our good humour evaporated. 9pm, 10pm, 11pm. Ffs it was a school night! Then, at 11.30, blessed peace. OK, nobody died. Off to bed. Then at 12am.........the piper started. His reedy notes echoed not through the banks and braes but throughout all our house. Until 12.30. Then peace once more. Until 1.00 when the steel band started. And went on. And on.
OP, your neighbours should thank their lucky stars that all they have to cope with is you and your friends enjoying each other's company with just a little night music. Don't let them make you think that you're the unreasonable one.

blue25 · 27/05/2017 20:07

Neighbours playing music in the garden is so annoying. Why would other people want to hear your music? Glad I live next door to considerate people!

sykadelic · 27/05/2017 20:08

First, music, whether quiet or not, tends to sound tinny from a distance so it would have been annoying.

Second, I have a 6 month old. I'm in bed (preferably) by 10pm every night so I can get as much sleep as possible before he decides to wake up.

You made the statement that you weren't sure why one neighbours needs trumped the other... and yet YOUR needs are apparently trumping the neighbours.

I don't blame you, I think they're being irrational and aggressive about the parking and son playing/crying etc and if they wanted a quiet life they should know better than to live in the manner they do. It must be a pretty sad life for them.

JennyHolzersGhost · 27/05/2017 20:37

Yes you're rude. HTH.

somerandomfucker · 27/05/2017 20:40

No lost, everyone is an individual and it's important to be kind and considerate. They have not been and do not deserve to be adhered too! Like I say a single mum mid twenties as a neighbour is not going to be quiet all the time if she and dc have friends! It's the neighbours issue and they should've been more polite with any issue of noise X

GrumpyOldBag · 27/05/2017 20:47

This was mainly why we moved out of the big city.

Yes, our neighbours were perfectly entitled to sit outside and have dinner outside on a warm evening. And have their friends round. And obviously we have all the windows open because the house would be too hot otherwise, and can hear every word they say.

And it's really, really fucking annoying. But they are not listening to loud music or out particularly late ... so we just had to live with it.

Now we live in the country with huge garden & no noisy neighbours & it's bliss.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 27/05/2017 20:47

If you cant handle a bit of normal, neighbourly noise go and live in a detached house in the middle of nowhere and stop expecting the world to revolve around you.

Tell you what, how about all the neighbours who think its okay to have parties until late at night go and live in a detached house instead. I'm sure all your long-suffering neighbours will be delighted Hmm

Whilst I'm at it, noise until midnight is not on in a built up residential area and if you're my neighbour that selfishly started a party last night at 9pm when my DCs were in bed sleep, I hope you enjoyed my DCs garden play date whilst trying to sleep through your hangover this afternoon. Angry