My neighbour has complained to my managing agent!

[HappyGoLuckyGirl]

This is going to be long so apologies!

I moved in to my current house at the end of January.

Within a month or so I had my next door neighbour come banging on my door about 11.30pm at night telling me to move my car and being very unreasonable in his behaviour and attitude towards me. There was a thread on here about it.

They have consistently been aggressive towards me, especially the bloke as he has tried to intimidate me and threaten to have my car towed etc. I've only ever parked behind our houses twice since I've lived here, to avoid the drama! They also bang on the party wall if I ever have music on or a movie, or even if my 4 year old child cries.

I've put some artificial grass down in my back Garden, bought a patio set and a nice little chiminea to enjoy the lovely weather we've been having. Yesterday I got the paddling pool and sprinkler out for my DS and next door neighbours were out in their back garden making really loud passive aggressive comments about noise. This was about 5pm!

After DS went to his dad's for the night I had some friends round and we were all sat outside enjoying the weather, having food and drinks etc. There were 5 of us, including myself. I had music on from a Bluetooth speaker but it wasn't loud as it was on the table and we didn't have to strain to hear each other or shout or anything.

Anyway about 10.30pm she yelled from her bathroom window to shut the fuck up and slammed it shut. Then reopened it I obviously explained to my friends about their behaviour and I wasn't very nice in describing them and they most likely listened or heard.

Two friends left at 11pm and the three of us left went inside about 11.30pm roughly and went to bed.

Anyway my managing agents called me this morning to say they received an email complaint about noise last night. I explained I'd had difficulties with them since moving in and explained the bbq last night with four friends etc. I also told them of their constant banging on the wall and car parking fiasco. He sounded quite sympathetic and said there wasn't much they could do even if I was being disruptive. I also told them that my other neighbours are lovely and we get on well even though they are in their sixties! And they have never said I'm too noisy or anything. In fact they told me that everyone in the row of terraces get along well apart from that one couple as they don't like socialising and hate any sort of noisy activities.

I told the managing agent to tell next door neighbour to call the police if they are so concerned with my noise levels, as I know the police would most likely tell them to get a grip.

I've got another bbq this evening with 3 other friends and I'm anxious they are going to kick off with me or report me again! Even though I'm not actually being disruptive they just expect total silence!

How should I handle this? I'm a single mother in my mid twenties and they are easily mid forties and the bloke is very intimidating.

There's a couple of threads floating about MN ATM re noise in gardens and the only thing I've learnt is that some MNers need to go and live in a soundproof box in the middle of a desert alongside the other MNers batty neighbours

The noise until 11 may have been annoying but when you have neighbours they will annoy you at times. But just because what they are doing is annoying doesn't mean it's wrong!

And re parking space - is not yours?

I go to bed between 10pm - 1030, DD gets up early. I wouldn't be happy with music after 10pm

Their shouting, swearing and aggressive behaviour towards you is unreasonable. You might as well just go about your normal life. Whatever you do, they will still be arseholes.

Keep a record of the incidents of aggressive or intimidating behaviour. If it comes to that, you can use the information to take action against them for harassment.

Your neighbours sound like shits, but making noise outside in close proximity to your neighbours after 9:00pm is v unreasonable.

I go to sleep by 9:30-10pm due to chronic illness/chronic pain causing disrupted & poor quality sleep. If you were my neighbour and were chatting, laughing, drinking and playing music near my bedroom window until 11:30pm, I would probably be sobbing with exhaustion.

It's extremely selfish to inflict your noise onto dozens of other people at that sort of time.

The amount of whingefuckery, moanycuntedness and sheer
suckyfunandjoyoutoflifedness on this thread is more shitter than a shit thing.

We have so few nice days or so everyone would have us think , do I really need to check in with every man jack on the fucking block if I want to play a bit of music that may go on until it gets dark? And speak in my own garden?

I don't always plan for these things, sometime they are just impromptu and I must say, I am sure that the person sleeping in after a night shift or hangover is not going to appreciate me banging the fuck on their door to tell them I am going to be having a BBQ and there may be some music

Wow - 5 people drinking wine and listening to music at oooooh 1030pm on a FRIDAY night! Debauchery!

Who's asleep at 1030 on a friday night?

One pp even suggested that we should all be quiet as mice all the time in case there is a nightworker asleep in the day within earshot. And that we should all be discussing this with the neighbours.

Fuck me.

Happy did you sort out the issue last month where you were being bullied at work? You sounded very focused and strong-minded in that situation so I'm surprised that you're feeling intimidated here.

I do think YAB a bit U, noise travels especially in the evenings when there's less background noise, and what's not very loud to you can be v annoying to those who aren't interested in your conversation. I think turning the music off at 10 is too late really, doing that in your home where there are walls is one thing, but in a garden...not very considerate.

Miaaaow - ok, you go to bed at 930 due to an illness, but It's extremely selfish to inflict your noise onto dozens of other people at that sort of time. - actally 930 is not 'that sort of time'! It's still light ffs!

Why should you demand they stop using their garden for drinking and talking, and listening to quiet music, just so you can sleep? Your desire for sleep doesn't trump their right to enjoy their own garden at a reasonable time - ie 930pm!!!!!

Music outside from someone's garden at 10.30pm would irritate me as well

Dulcima yes that was resolved and all has gone back to near enough normal at the office now. Apart from me not getting involved in the 'banter' anymore. Which is fine by me.

I think I'm a bit more unsure in this situation because I don't like to think I am causing problems for my neighbours. I don't want to intentionally upset them with loud music or parties or anything but on the other hand I don't want to curb my activities and life to the extent that I can't enjoy my own property. Especially when they have just been so awful to me from the get go!

The weather today has turned a bit now and it's quite cloudy and windy where I am so I doubt we'll be outside tonight anyway.

Why do people need to play music in their gardens? Why the constant obsession with having noise all the time?

As it happens, I've just caught my other next door neighbour coming back from the shop. I asked if we'd disturbed them last night and he said not at all! I mentioned that the other neighbour had complained and he just said it's not surprising as they were always like that. But reassured me that we hadn't been loud at all and even said, you were only talking!

Who's asleep at 1030 on a friday night?

people who are tired
people who go to bed early
people who get up at 5am to go to work the following day
people who are ill
people who will be up all night with a baby
people who are under 10 years old
people who want to be in bed and have the right to do so without their inconsiderate and rude neighbour drinking, shrieking and listening to loud music until nearly midnight (23:30 apparently)!

If you want to be antisocial, get a secluded house in the middle of nowhere, go to a pub or rent a hall. If you have close neighbours, stop being selfish and show some respect.

Ptumbi the op said she stayed outside drinking and chatting until 11:30pm and she's going to do the same again tonight. Between us DH and I work every weekend, he gets up before 4am for some of them and I get up before 5am for others. If we were op's neighbour we'd be going to work after only four or five hours sleep so while nobody's right to seven or eight hours sleep trumps someone else's right to use their garden life goes more smoothly if we all try to be considerate of others.

Lots of people go to bed at 10.30 on a Friday, or any other night. There could be a million reasons. Everyone should have the right to enjoy peace in their home and the ability to go to sleep in the late evening when they choose to. People that want to stay up all night partying and chatting should go to a pub or club or somewhere where noise doesn't matter.

My neighbour and his ds cannot be in the garden without either the radio playing in the dads shed or bloody rap crap in the sons bedroom with the windows wide open, drives me mad.
If I want to listen to music I will put my own on thanks.
Every bloody barbecue is the same even when they have the grandparents round who are in their 80's so why would they want to hear bloody rap!
So bloody selfish

Really, let them complain and suggest they get the environmental health round as they will see there is no problem and its your neighbours that are unreasonable. Chances are that they are already known to the environmental health as troublemakers and although they are obliged to investigate will see the situation for what it is.
We had new neighbours about 20 years ago and the women was terrified of everything. She complained I made too much noise when I was hoovering and complained about my music. When the environmental health come round, they just laughed when they saw my radio (it was tiny and even on full volume was barely loud enough to be heard next door). As for the hoovering - not sure what i was supposed to do.... any excuse not to hoover was welcome.
Under no circumstances apologise for anything as you haven't done anything wrong and park your car where you like (as long as legal!)

The majority of threads I've seen from the other side have rather aggressively told the OP that they just bloody well have to put up with music until 11pm because the council won't look at noise complaints (they will btw). Seriously, in a week someone will post from the opposite side of view to you OP and they will be told they are unreasonable too.

I think music in the garden says I don't give a shit what you think. Whereas just being in the garden and laughing and chatting is just that. It's the signal it sends I think.

I live in a tiny terrace. 10 households in very close proximity to each other. Imposing my music on ten other families would be crap. But just chatting in the garden = normal.

I don't consider what the op described as a party but she is allowed to have parties and I have encountered them everywhere I have lived. I would say a lot of people have a proper party into the small hours one or twice a year. Sometimes I have been informed beforehand sometimes not, I have accepted that my neighbours have a life to live and that includes socialising.

It is clear that the neighbours want her walking on eggshells - the first time she has people around (on a Friday night) they have complained.

I would say always consider your neighbours and make reasonable adjustments but you have to be able to enjoy your home

This is bizarre theres that thread about the kids on the trampoline etc on here too at the moment, and I said on that one where I live midnight is the end of everything, but if anyone was to complain before then they'd be ostracised - I live in a close knit community which has its benefits and pitfalls; noise from kids playing even if they are screaming the place down is acceptable on week nights up till at least 9pm and midnight at weekends. Sometimes it disturbs me, Im talking people shouting at 11pm, hysterical shrieking etc - but come 12am everything goes QUIET. And rare during the week ifyswim.

OP you sound like you are sensible, and your neighbours sound like fuckwits. Carry on as you were don't let them bully you.

Your neighbours are obviously really intolerant and seem to view any level of noise as a disturbance. I'd be inclined to write them a note politely pointing out that some noise is reasonable and you will aim to be considerate. But if they pursue in harassing you over this issue, you will make a complaint to the police.

Having said that, if I lived in a terrace, I would not play music outside, even at a low volume.

oh and the knickers on the line thread, more neighbour complaints. Its an epidemic!

The amount of whingefuckery, moanycuntedness and sheer
suckyfunandjoyoutoflifedness on this thread is more shitter than a shit thing

Actually, being kept awake until getting up for midnight when you have to be up at 5am is shitter. As is having to close your windows in 20 degree heat in an attempt to escape the incessant noise that five women drinking and listening to music on a tinny speaker makes.

I think it's unreasonable to have two loud evenings in the garden one after the other. None of us know how loud you were being. The stuff about the children is unreasonable of the neighbours obviously. In the heat many people need to have their windows open, the sound carries into the house then obviously.