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AIBU?

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Original poster

That you don't ask guests to change their wedding outfit?

667 replies

poopsqueak · 20/05/2017 09:55

Got a phone call this morning from my brother (sheepishly) asking what I was wearing to his wedding.

I told him 'black dress' and asked why and he said his wife to be is worried ill either 'stand out' or 'fade into the background' and could I change it?

The wedding is in 2 weeks, I've had the dress for 2 months (no return period) and my mum (mother of the groom) has had the same call. My mum just said yes though. She had a navy pant suit that she had bought and went out and bought another pink dress to be more in theme.

I don't have an official part of the wedding though so i don't think I am messing up a theme. Also I got the dress as it was neutral and made me feel good. It was also £150 and I just can't afford another one.

What should I do?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
39
MsJolly · 20/05/2017 09:56

Wear the dress you have

MrsMeeseeks · 20/05/2017 09:57

Wear it anyway! What a ridiculous thing to say.

SaltySalt · 20/05/2017 09:58

Bloody well wear it! If they were that bothered they wouldn't be questioning outfits two weeks before the wedding.

greenworm · 20/05/2017 09:58

I think you should just explain exactly what you've said, and wear the dress you've bought.

Why do you think his fiancée cares so much? Genuine insecurity or just being controlling / trying to cause an upset?

KC225 · 20/05/2017 09:59

I am stunned. Wear the dress you have. What a nerve.

DoItTooJulia · 20/05/2017 10:00

She'd say that no matter what you said you were wearing from the sounds of it.

Did they have a clue as to what you were planning to wear?

KC225 · 20/05/2017 10:00

And buy your brother a set of luminous bike balls from firebox.

KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 20/05/2017 10:01

People treat wedding guests weirdly.

I think the word 'guest' should be changed to 'puppet' or 'invited hostage'.

Or maybe just 'prop'.

LoveMyLittleSuperhero · 20/05/2017 10:02

You aren't part of the wedding, they didn't tell you they had a "dress code" for you before you went shopping (should have come with the invitation). You've bought a neutral dress that makes you feel good and it's hardly like you're wearing ivory lace.

Wear the dress.

If you really want to do something to appease bridezilla could you accessorise with pink so you are a little in theme?

Siwdmae · 20/05/2017 10:03

Bridezilla! Tbh, I would not be happy with a black dress on a guest if it's plain black.

Original poster
poopsqueak · 20/05/2017 10:03

I think she is just that type. Likes to have every detailed planned to an inch of its life. Bought her dress a week after they got engaged Hmm she gets very stressed out if things are not 'just so' (in real life and wedding life)

But I do get that she's nervous just think this is a weird thing to be worried about.

I'm just going to wear the dress I guess but might get a pink headpiece or shoes to fit with the theme. I reckon that's fair?

OP posts:
Dishwashersaurous · 20/05/2017 10:05

It is unusual to wear an all black dress to a wedding though.

Not saying that you shouldn't wear it but superstitious people would say that it's bad luck etc

Original poster
poopsqueak · 20/05/2017 10:06

Siwdmae- that's interesting, why wouldn't you be happy with a black dress on a guest?

OP posts:
Ladyformation · 20/05/2017 10:06

What the hell?! Wear what you like as long as it's appropriate for any dress code sent out in the invitation. What totally strange behaviour from the bride and groom...

TheChineseChicken · 20/05/2017 10:06

I was going to suggest getting an 'on theme' accessory as a concession

LineysRun · 20/05/2017 10:07

I think a massive, massive pink hat should do it.

Trb17 · 20/05/2017 10:08

Wear the dress you've got.

Buy your brother a set of balls.

Original poster
poopsqueak · 20/05/2017 10:09

Might buy one of those Pom Pom headbands you see at festivals and wear that 😃

OP posts:
kel1493 · 20/05/2017 10:10

I thought that black to a wedding means you are against the wedding though..

kel1493 · 20/05/2017 10:10

That's what I've always heard anyway

Fairenuff · 20/05/2017 10:11

ill either 'stand out' or 'fade into the background'

What does this even mean anyway? How can it be so different/unusual that you would stand out, yet at the same time so bland/indifferent that you'll not be noticed? Confused

And what has it got to do with her anyway. Why does she care whether you stand out or not?

Either ignore or tell him you're wearing what you want so get over it.

RedGrapeCornSnake · 20/05/2017 10:12

I wouldn't be happy with plain black on a wedding guest either. It's too funereal.

Having said that my MIL wore black to me and DH's beach wedding, it felt like she didn't wish us well, which echoed her behaviour before and after the wedding, so I'm aware my opinion is clouded!

CotswoldStrife · 20/05/2017 10:13

Did you know that the wedding had a theme?

Starlighter · 20/05/2017 10:14

Traditionally it's bad manners for women to wear black to a wedding, but I don't see a problem with it, people wore black at my wedding, it was fine!

Maybe the bride is having a temporary bridezilla moment! Could you pretend to compromise just to keep the peace for your brother's sake - say you can't return the dress and it was expensive but you will use lighter accessories, such as a pashmina, shoes, etc.

AdoraBell · 20/05/2017 10:15

If bride and groom are paying for guests outfits then they can have a say over what said outfit is.

You've bought an outfit that suits you and looks good on you. Point being you bought the dress. He can jog on.

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