That you don't ask guests to change their wedding outfit?

[poopsqueak]

Got a phone call this morning from my brother (sheepishly) asking what I was wearing to his wedding.

I told him 'black dress' and asked why and he said his wife to be is worried ill either 'stand out' or 'fade into the background' and could I change it?

The wedding is in 2 weeks, I've had the dress for 2 months (no return period) and my mum (mother of the groom) has had the same call. My mum just said yes though. She had a navy pant suit that she had bought and went out and bought another pink dress to be more in theme.

I don't have an official part of the wedding though so i don't think I am messing up a theme. Also I got the dress as it was neutral and made me feel good. It was also £150 and I just can't afford another one.

What should I do?

Sorry but no black and no white /ivory /cream.

Save the dress for another occasion and get something cheerful.

strikhedonia Surely OP has more than one black dress in her wardrobe, or could borrow one for the day. Her SIL-to-be probably never imagined she would dream of wearing long black lace.

I agree that black is a bad choice for a summer wedding. I suppose the bride is thinking of a line up of guests in pastels and brights with a black dress in the middle.

She is of course a bit silly to worry about it, on the day it will all be fine, but these are the sort of things very 'bridey' brides think about.

It sounds as though the bride may have a few issues with control. Have you had a conversation with your brother about whether he's absolutely sure he wants to marry her?

Several people wore black to my wedding which really took me aback (made me think of funerals, as PPs have said), but obviously I just told them they looked gorgeous and thanked them for coming!

"(Not that I'm completely against the wedding- although there are problems) "

I personally definitely wouldn't wear that dress to a wedding. Turning up in a black dress is seen as making a statement on your disapproval of the wedding. In some cases, I might assume that a guest turning up in black was just oblivious to this social norm but if I was aware of the history/disapproval of the relationship that you hint about above, I'd assume that you were deliberately trying to make a public statement that you oppose the marriage.

It's 2017! Wear what you like

I'd wear a Pink JoJo Bow about the size of a channel ferry on my head just to annoy her - you won't fade away then....

I would not like a guest in black either. It seems like a statement. Even if I KNEW they were happy about the wedding, some other...traditional people might think they were making a statement. Black is for funerals. Not weddings.

Personally I don't have an issue with black at a wedding (or, indeed, white or cream) so long as the style is not funereal (or bridal)

Op's dress bears absolutely no resemblance to anything you'd ever wear to a funeral IMO. I've seen plenty of people wear black or navy dresses, one of DH's friends mum wore a stunning navy silk suit for her son's wedding and looked entirely appropriate.

Get a colourful jacket/cardigan to go with your fascinator and some non black shoes and it will be fine.

I can't believe people don't know that black dresses at weddings are a no-no. I have seen more and more people wear them to weddings and sometimes it can be done in an understated way. Your dress is beautiful OP but I do think it's a bit of a statement - lace with a big skirt like a wedding dress but black. As a family member it can look like you're saying you don't approve...

Wear it. Good job she didn't come to my wedding with the guest who wore a completely see-through designer outfit. She looked great on the wedding photos. ....

Wear it. Good job she didn't come to my wedding with the guest who wore a completely see-through designer outfit. She looked great on the wedding photos. ....

'I think the word 'guest' should be changed to 'puppet' or 'invited hostage'.'

I can't believe how many people think it's ok to tell someone what to wear just because its 'your day' .The op has spent money on a gorgeous dress that is clearly not funeral attire. She is wearing some other colours with it. She will also presumably have spent money on a gift and may be spending money on a hotel room and drinks etc. Etc. She is not part of the wedding party. Why on earth should they dictate what she wears? Is this normal nowadays.

I have been to plenty of wedding where people have worn black and navy an looked great. Even if they look awful who cares, it's the bride and groom's wedding day, they are the ones people are looking at.

If they feel so strongly they (bride and groom) should buy her a new dress as she cannot get a refund now.

'"" think the word 'guest' should be changed to 'puppet' or 'invited hostage'.

Sorry that should have been in bold!

'I think the word 'guest' should be changed to 'puppet' or 'invited hostage'.'

If I went to a wedding and saw that the groom's sister and mother were BOTH wearing navy/black, I'd assume they hated the bride/were against the wedding. From your comment above, you don't really like the bride, so that assumption would appear to be correct.

I think that you could easily brighten the black dress up with some coloured accessories. At my wedding a lot of women wore dark suits and dresses that they had obviously thought they would be able to get further use of at work. Whilst that's completely understandable I am a tiny bit disappointed when I look at some of the photos as there isn't much colour..it all looks a bit sombre. It's not a major disappointment but in this day and age it is possible to buy clothes fairly cheaply that you would feel happy to only wear only a few times.

I can't believe people don't know that black dresses at weddings are a no-no. I have seen more and more people wear them to weddings

because they are not a no-no anymore! People can wear what they like.

These are pink. Would these suit the theme?

images.esellerpro.com/2152/I/238/76/XS0125-hot-pink-wellies_1_1000.jpg

Pink shoes, a fascinator, and a pink pashmina/shawl would be fine. And lovely!

It doesn't look like the most suitable outfit for a wedding (IMO looks like a great dress for a winter cocktail party) and especially for a close family member's wedding where you will be in a lot of their photos. If your mother wore dark clothes as well it would set a lot of people gossiping that your brother's side were making a statement. It shouldn't matter in this day and age, but it still seems to. If you already know before the wedding that it's creating problems it would be nice to find a different dress.

I wore black dress at my own wedding! If it all goes tits up I have something to blame now I guess

Fine with bright accessories I'd say. You could pin a fidget spinner on it.

Wear your dress.Bridezilla alert!