That you don't ask guests to change their wedding outfit?

[poopsqueak]

Got a phone call this morning from my brother (sheepishly) asking what I was wearing to his wedding.

I told him 'black dress' and asked why and he said his wife to be is worried ill either 'stand out' or 'fade into the background' and could I change it?

The wedding is in 2 weeks, I've had the dress for 2 months (no return period) and my mum (mother of the groom) has had the same call. My mum just said yes though. She had a navy pant suit that she had bought and went out and bought another pink dress to be more in theme.

I don't have an official part of the wedding though so i don't think I am messing up a theme. Also I got the dress as it was neutral and made me feel good. It was also £150 and I just can't afford another one.

What should I do?

A plain black dress to a June wedding does feel a little unweddingy and unsummery.

YANBU. But.
Its going to cause so much stress on the day and fall out afterwards, can you borrow or hire a dress?

What's wrong with wearing black to a wedding?

The Hyacinth Bucket's will be out in force on this thread with their second-hand copies of Debret's...

I wouldn't be happy with plain black on a wedding guest either. It's too funereal.

Exactly this. It's the last colour I'd think of for a wedding in June.

People are a bit funny about black dresses to weddings - it's not really the done thing. But you have no choice at this stage - so yes, tart it up with some bright accessories - shoes/hat/bag etc.

Tell him. "Of course, I'd love to be in your wedding. How much are you willing to spend on the new dress? Can you transfer the money before I go shopping?"

Would never wear an all black dress to a wedding

Or all white /cream

Black and white patterned is fine

Tho cheeky for him to say change it. I see his point as said above and others have - we wouldn't wear black to a wedding

Nothing wrong with wearing black at a wedding! (and you can't wear everything and anything at a funeral because it's black either).

If nothing else, men and you in dark clothes would draw even more attention to the bride's dress.

I would be so tempted (but would not do it in real life, I wouldn't dare) to swap for a white/ivory bridal-type dress, you know if black is not acceptable

Wear the dress. Wear whichever accessories you were going to wear. She is being completely ridiculous. Don't even entertain it.

I wouldn't wear plain black to a wedding as it's traditionally a funeral colour but if you really want to wear it, put very colourful accessories with it.

Black dress to a wedding is a huge faux pas isn't it?

I didn't know this until I wore one to my BILs wedding and the mother of the bride gasped and then shunned me

Just for badness you should turn up in fancy dress. A big daft clown outfit just to make sure you don't 'fade into the background'.

Since you already have it, and it sounds like it's suitably formal/ smart, just wear it anyway.
Traditionally it hasn't been "the done thing" to wear black to a wedding, I suppose because it's traditional funeral attire. But these days weddings are a lot more "anything goes". Some weddings I've been to in recent years have specified "black tie/ cocktail wear" and almost everyone had turned up in black. In anywhere other than the UK black seems prevalent at weddings. Adult bridesmaids at Dutch/ French/USA/ Australian weddings I've been invited to have all worn black evening dresses.
Is your SIL under pressure to appease her parents who'd disapprove? I know my mum would have been horrified at black dresses at a wedding. My (American) MIL wore head to toe black to our wedding and my mum was very cats bum mouth about it.

Well I wouldn't wear all black to a wedding either and I can partly see her point with MIL in navy and you in black, that it could look a bit sombre in the photos, but she has clearly been taken over by bridezilla and really shouldn't give a stuff what folks are wearing.

I wouldn't wear all black to a wedding. Can you get a coloured jacket, shoes, hat, bag, necklace etc ? Sheer tights not dark ones. Etc. That should take the edge off it.

I didn't notice anything people were wearing for my wedding, but I thought people only wore black to a wedding to make a point-that they weren't happy with the partner. I think it may well be taken that way, particularly if he's asked you not to.

I have a black/red/gold toreador outfit you could borrow...not pink tho sorry.

Really? I had no idea you shouldn't wear black to a wedding. 😱 Unless there's a theme, or you are a bridesmaid, it's not up to anyone else what you wear to a wedding, surely?

How bizarre. I'd wear it regardless unless your brother wants to pay for an alternative! Are your accessories weddingy?

Asking a guest to change their outfit is quite rude imo

BUT

Wearing all black or all white to a wedding is also a huge faux pas. Black is very funeral and as others have said is meant to signify you are against the marriage and white is meant to be attention seeking.

(Normally I think a colour is a colour and it shouldn't matter but a wedding is a traditional event so..)

I would personally change it.

If you always wear dark colours, you may find they are trying to be polite and spare you feeling about looking to stark compared to all the other guests by mentioning it now.

Black in a crowd of colour would mean you stand out rather a lot.

I would just accessorise it up. This s kind of look would be pretty.

I'm afraid I wouldn't want an all-black dress at a wedding, with a pattern, fine, but not completely black, sorry

I wouldn't wear black to wedding (or a summer barbecue or any summer occasion for that matter but it's particularly harsh for a wedding). I think it looks like you don't want to be there.

However that aside it's really odd to ring and ash what you're wearing!!! If there was a colour they wanted people to incorporate that should have been on the invitations.