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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does anyone NOT regret having kids?!

220 replies

user1491297286 · 16/05/2017 14:51

Just recently I’ve noticed an influx of threads where parents have admitted that they regret having children and the negative impact it has had on their lives. I was surprised how many people feel this way, especially when social media is full of posts from parents glamorising parenthood and telling us all how amazing it is (call me naïve but having not had children myself - I tended to believe them!)

I have to say, as someone who was desperately looking forward to parenthood, I’m concerned Confused…. Is it really that bad?!

OP posts:
romany4 · 16/05/2017 18:54

No regrets but I do miss living without worry. I seem to worry about them constantly. Even more now they are grown

HildaOg · 16/05/2017 18:58

I don't, however I do wish I had done a few things differently in my life prior to having a child and provided a better father then the poor kid ended up with.

Bibs2014 · 16/05/2017 18:59

Me!!

champagnecyclist · 16/05/2017 18:59

No regrets here. I've been on my own through pregnancy, birth and nearly 4 years. Alone, isolated - it's been so so hard, harder then I've admitted to myself or even realised a lot of the time. But I'm sat here looking at my beautiful daughter and wouldn't change it.

IllBeAtTheSpa · 16/05/2017 19:01

Me!! I have one dd who enhances and enlightens my life every day. I love being a mum to her! So much so I'm THINKING about a second.

Laiste · 16/05/2017 19:02

Four kids, never ever regretted having them for one moment.

I didn't want kids. Intended never to have any. DC1 was a pill fail when i was quite young. I enjoyed motherhood so much i went on to have 3 more Grin

Hulababy · 16/05/2017 19:02

No, I have never regretted having a child. DD is 15y now and I still enjoy being a parent. Obviously it isn't always perfect and easy, but certainly in my experience the benefits by far outweigh any issues. I had DD was I was 29y and DH and I had been together for 12 years, so we had a lot of time together pre-children.

0hCrepe · 16/05/2017 19:08

I've never once regretted having them for a moment. They are my world. Just had another as I love it so much and it is even better having 3 than I ever could have hoped for. I'd be totally lost without them. Not saying it's always easy but I would never ever wish I hadn't had them. I also work with children. If I hadn't been lucky enough to have my own I would have adopted.

qumquat · 16/05/2017 19:15

I regret an awful lot of things in my life but I don't regret having DD.

Rainatnight · 16/05/2017 19:17

Don't regret it for a moment. We adopted DD at the beginning of this year and she is the light of my life.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 16/05/2017 19:17

It's hard work, especially as a single mum, but I wouldn't swap my boys for my pre-baby life or all the money in the world. I regret that I picked a scumbag to be their dad, but I don't regret having them for a second, even when they're driving me slowly crazy with incessant questions.

Lightship · 16/05/2017 19:19

OP, as I assume you will not make the decision to have children based on social media images of parenthood, why not allow people to express their regrets freely, without feeling they're frightening someone off?

Ditsy1980 · 16/05/2017 19:20

Me!

I've really been through the mill since DD was born and it's been so, so hard at times. I occasionally yearn for pre-child life (mainly being able to do what I want when i want!). I may moan about her and parenting.

But I have never ever regretted having her.

Violetcharlotte · 16/05/2017 19:21

I absolutely don't regret it one bit. Mine are 17 and 15.

There have been times when they've driven me to despair. When they were little it was the relentlessness of it all, the tiredness, the crying, etc. As they got older I found all the ferrying about hard work and now they're teens... the mess, the staying out late and various other things. Plus the expense!!

But there's never been a time when I've regretted having them, I can homely say they are my world.

CatsRidingRollercoasters · 16/05/2017 19:22

No regrets here! Best thing I ever did.

likeababyelephant · 16/05/2017 19:25

I've never regretted having my little pumpkin. I feel like motherhood has taught me many life lessons such as persistence, tolerance, patience to name but a few.

Before I had DD I was a all over the place. Now I feel grounded. I feel like I can actually handle life.

PencilsInSpace · 16/05/2017 19:26

Me Smile

I've got a DD and a DS. I loved PG, BF and the preschool years, didn't really enjoy the school years until they were mid teens. I found them quite annoying a lot of the time at that age, especially the 9-10 y/o know-it-all phase. I hated having to deal with schools, I felt like I was back there myself, sometimes.

DD in particular had a tricky adolescence but muddling through with both of them has made us all really close. They're now mid-20's, pursuing careers they are passionate about, are great company and can stand their round in the pub.

I had them young and was a LP for quite a chunk of it, and in those days there was no affordable childcare so I haven't had much of a career, although I'm starting to climb now, in my late 40's. I'm probably supposed to regret that but I don't.

WellIGuessThisIsGrowingUp · 16/05/2017 19:27

Having children is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Its exhausting, relentless and you are all of a sudden completely responsible for another person but... I would never change it. It has taught me so much about myself and has given me a reason to be a better person. And of course some days are better than others, but I honestly would not be without my DC x

LilacSpatula · 16/05/2017 19:28

Me! Me me me me! She's gorgeous and I wouldn't change anything for the world.

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 16/05/2017 19:30

Don't regret it at all. There have been really, really hard times, but it's so worth it. Dd is the single most amazing person I've ever met, and the best thing I've ever done (and I've been fortunate enough to have done a lot with my life so far). I've no doubt dc2 will have me feeling the same!

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 16/05/2017 19:34

Not a bit. Had eight years of trouble to have him and at five I think he's a delightmost of the time. I am pretty shattered though.

MissShittyBennet · 16/05/2017 19:46

There've been a few threads on here over the years about people regretting having kids. I can't think of one recently, they usually seem to be in Chat presumably so they go poof. But it is a topic that gets discussed.

For my part, no I've never regretted mine for a second. That's not to say they aren't a pain in the shitter on a pretty frequent basis. And I'm very glad I won't be having more. But no, I am thrilled to be a parent.

MoodyOne · 16/05/2017 20:03

I am only 4 months in and it's the hardest thing I have ever done, but I wouldn't change it for the world 😍

AmysTiara · 16/05/2017 20:08

Never regretted it for a second. Honestly not one second.

It was all I ever really wanted and they are the best things that ever happened to me.

Instasista · 16/05/2017 20:10

No not for a second. It's a million times better and more beautiful than I ever hoped to be a mother.