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Original poster

Does anyone NOT regret having kids?!

220 replies

user1491297286 · 16/05/2017 14:51

Just recently I’ve noticed an influx of threads where parents have admitted that they regret having children and the negative impact it has had on their lives. I was surprised how many people feel this way, especially when social media is full of posts from parents glamorising parenthood and telling us all how amazing it is (call me naïve but having not had children myself - I tended to believe them!)

I have to say, as someone who was desperately looking forward to parenthood, I’m concerned Confused…. Is it really that bad?!

OP posts:
BumWad · 16/05/2017 15:04

None whatsoever

Angelicinnocent · 16/05/2017 15:05

They are hard work but I have never regretted a second of it.

Trb17 · 16/05/2017 15:06

No regrets at all. Apart from wishing I'd had her sooner Smile

CheerBreeder · 16/05/2017 15:08

I don't regret having my kids one bit and it's not always been easy. It's hard work and you sacrifice some of your freedom but I wouldn't change a thing.

Oddsocksforeveryone · 16/05/2017 15:08

I have 3dc 7yr, 5yr, 10 month and one last surprise due October. I have never ever regretted them. My life before/after I became a mum is so different its almost like I was a different person and it can be bloody hard but I don't think I ever felt love or happiness the way I have since my children were born.
Of course I could just be talking nonsense and delirious from lack of sleep.

anon1987 · 16/05/2017 15:12

I wouldn't say I 'regret' it, but I did have mine young at 18,22,25 and sometimes wish I'd had my first when I was a bit older so that I'd have had time to travel, be myself and grow up a bit as a single person.

crazypenguinlady · 16/05/2017 15:13

My son is only 3 months old but even in the gloom of a 3am screaming fit have I ever regretted him, even for w second. There's times when I get a bit flustered (like when he's out cold sleeping then suddenly wakes him screaming (literally) to be fed) but then he'll give me a huge smile and it all melts away. I always wanted to be a mum and he is absolutely worth the sleepless nights,nightmare first week in hospital (he was in SCBU), colic, etc. I adore the bones of him and absolutely know without a doubt I want another baby in the foreseeable future.

Badbadbunny · 16/05/2017 15:14

Absolutely no regrets at all. My son has enriched our lives immeasurably. Yes, it's hard work, but that's life, you don't get given things on a plate! You have to work for everything that's worth having.

Children were never on our agenda. Until our mid 30's, we never thought we'd have any and were quite content to look forward with just the two of us. Then in our mid 30's we started to discuss children and we've never looked back. Our only regret is only having 1.

glitterglitters · 16/05/2017 15:14

Don't regret it for a second. Deciding to have kids was a joint decision, got all our "living" out the way beforehand and now am dedicated to my children. It's tough at times and I do miss the freedom but they didn't choose to be born so it's up to me and dh to make their childhoods' happy and fulfilled.

Cantusethatname · 16/05/2017 15:14

My life without them would be unthinkable. It's not a case of an academic do I/don't I regret it. Maybe I might think that about my job, and I confess I have thought it about my lovely puppy on his bad days. But my sons? No, without them I wouldn't be me.

SnapAttack · 16/05/2017 15:15

No regrets at all and I don't think many people on the threads regretted it either.

It was a bigger change than I ever could have imagined and in all the ways i hadn't thought about

I was worried about 3 years of nappy changes and being up in the night as the only big changes before haha.

First one has turned the world i knew upside down but all for the better

WaitrosePigeon · 16/05/2017 15:15

It's not bad for me. I like my kids.

mygorgeousmilo · 16/05/2017 15:16

No regrets at all. My kids are fab

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 16/05/2017 15:16

I absolutely do NOT regret having children.
Sometimes I wish they'd leave me alone for a bit of peace and quiet (boys aged 4 and 9) but I never, ever think that I'd have been better off without them.
IN fact, when I start bemoaning the fact that I had to move to Australia with the Aussie husband, and what a PITA that is sometimes, I always pull myself up short and think "but if I hadn't met/married him, I wouldn't have my 2 beautiful boys and I wouldn't change it for anything".

Pigface1 · 16/05/2017 15:18

As someone who would like children but is scared she can't handle the impact on her life, these posts are lovely to read.

Bambambini · 16/05/2017 15:19

At the moment they are my life, best thing i've ever done (not counting the back packing - oh, and that night in Kavos 1989).

earlyish days yet and still young though -many unknown years to come - hopefully.

mailfuckoff · 16/05/2017 15:19

I adopted my boys. It was 2 years of paperwork and invasion into our lives followed by having children that come with their own issues and emotional needs. They make me cross and stressed and angry but never once have I regretted it. The times they come to me for a hot or reassurance and they accept me as mum makes it all worth while

merrygoround51 · 16/05/2017 15:20

I found the early years quite easy and just so enjoyable. The slow days just sitting around, staring out the window, long trips to the library etc

Honestly I loved it, now we are in the realm of school, activities, parties, entertainment etc I am finding it much more challenging.

So no I dont regret having children but I am finding life hard going right now

Liiinoo · 16/05/2017 15:21

The only time I have regretted having children was a day about 5 years ago when my 20 yo DD was deep in the clutch of anorexia and it was tearing our family apart. At that point if I could have wound back time and never had them and saved us all (and particularly her obviously) the pain and grief of her illness I wouldn't have hesitated.

Apart from that one day, no regrets. Thank god she started to recover not long afterwards. I think at that point we had all just about reached rock bottom.

MatadorBowerBird · 16/05/2017 15:22

KavvLar's point about choosing your co-parent wisely is a very salient one. I too was ambivalent for years and am now a happy mother of twins, but a DH who didn't pull his weight would make it all look very different.

10storeylovesong · 16/05/2017 15:23

Only regret was not starting earlier so I could fit more in. I have a 4 year old ds and currently 20 weeks with second ds after 3 years of trying and quite a number of losses. Not sure I could go through it all again ( the ttc and the pregnancy - not the children). Ds1 was born very prem and had a lot of health issues so not the easiest time, but wouldn't change a thing.

keeplooking · 16/05/2017 15:24

3 x ds. Je ne regrette rien! They have filled my life. Smile

HashtagPenelope82 · 16/05/2017 15:25

Really hard work and changes life forever. Expensive. Spontaneity and a lot of fun options out of the window. Doesn't matter though. My daughter is absolutely the best thing in my life.

Bear2014 · 16/05/2017 15:25

I absolutely miss my freedom - my weekend lie ins, spontaneous trips to the pub and going to the gym and really looking after myself etc, but I've never genuinely regretted having my DD (and currently 28 weeks with number 2). I don't think I know anyone who actually regrets it either, despite all these conversations about holidays and disposable income! I think I would have regretted not at least trying to have kids though.

MissDollyMix · 16/05/2017 15:26

No Way!!! My children are bloody exhausting, hard work, I make mistakes, I'm not the mother I thought I'd be, but I wouldn't change it for the world. They are the reason I wake up in the morning and as much as I complain I find the house far too quiet when they're not there!