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Original poster

Does anyone NOT regret having kids?!

220 replies

user1491297286 · 16/05/2017 14:51

Just recently I’ve noticed an influx of threads where parents have admitted that they regret having children and the negative impact it has had on their lives. I was surprised how many people feel this way, especially when social media is full of posts from parents glamorising parenthood and telling us all how amazing it is (call me naïve but having not had children myself - I tended to believe them!)

I have to say, as someone who was desperately looking forward to parenthood, I’m concerned Confused…. Is it really that bad?!

OP posts:
Irontheshirts · 16/05/2017 15:26

Not for one minute for the past 18 years. They don't say little for long- I enjoyed every part of their childhood and now as they become adults and stretch their wings I'm so glad I enjoyed them. I'm looking forward to seeing the world through their eyes and in a few years would love to enjoy being a grandmother. Only after OH and I have spent time together spending their inheritance.

itsgoodtobehome · 16/05/2017 15:26

This will probably sound totally daft, but I would say that the only thing that I regret about having my ds is that I love him so much. I do worry about what I would do if something happened to him. I don't regret any of the sleepless nights, loss of independence, poo and sick etc, but I find the love and responsibility that I feel for him sometimes overwhelming. I sometimes hanker back to the days when my biggest worry was how bad my hangover would be on a Sunday morning!! Now it's a constant worry about anything bad happening to ds.

DaffodilsinMarch · 16/05/2017 15:27

No regrets. By far the best thing I have ever done. DH feels the same way. I am ambitious in my career and am very lucky to love my work but my kids give me more pleasure and delight on a daily basis than anything else. I know it's not for everyone (and of course it's not an issue if it isn't) but I've loved every second of it.

The only thing I'd change is that I wish we could give birth like kangaroos or any other creature that doesn't have to push a very large object out of a very small hole.

ToneDeafHamster · 16/05/2017 15:28

My DD is the best thing I have ever done. I am bloody knackered though, and its a pretty massive learning curve, but she is awesome and totally worth it.

ragdoll700 · 16/05/2017 15:29

No way I love my two and am hoping to have a third I do miss being able to leave the house with out a week of planning :) but other than that all good here cannot imagine my life without them. I have never heard anyone say they regret having kids IRL.

GrumpyMcGrumpFace · 16/05/2017 15:29

absolutely not. It's very hard work, especially if you have toddler+baby (+ any more!), but now mine have grown into teens and tweens they're really remarkably easy, and I find myself missing the little hands, the reading of Biff and Chip for the millionth time etc etc.

Of course there are times when you are just SO TIRED and SO BROKE and you look at childless friends going off on their holidays to Bali, or enjoying a hot cup of tea, and other distant dreams - you wouldn't be human if you didn't think "that'd be nice".... But nothing is actually better than a lovely cuddle with your DC, or hearing them talking about something they love ... I can only talk about my experience of course, but I think it's ace Grin

Atenco · 16/05/2017 15:34

I certainly didn't regret having my dd, though I could have given her away a few times, but I think it is easier if you know you have been able to do plenty of going out, if that is your thing, or whatever is your pleasure, before you have children, then you can accept all the inevitable changes that being a mother brings.

Desperad0 · 16/05/2017 15:36

at 1 am, then 3 am, then 5 am most days ...... but then the smiles make up for it

LukesDiner · 16/05/2017 15:36

I genuinely love my dc (11 & 10) more every day- they are fun, smart, kind, thoughtful and loving. My dd is a bit erratic at times (the monster of puberty begins!) but we have great conversations about it and I am so proud of the fact that we have a wonderfully warm and close relationship and she feels able to ask me anything (so far!). My son is just fabulous- super clever but very sensitive- but the way he handles challenges with friends/ other kids/ life in general is very mature and reasonable. We often get praised for their good manners and ability to have sensible conversations with adults. We have put the work in, a lot of it, and it hasn't been stress free or without challenges. We also make big decisions as a family as dh and I value their opinions and, I think, as a result, we are a very close family. It's true that I sometimes long for a hotel room just for the night to get a bit of time alone but I would not change having had my two for the whole world.

Justaboy · 16/05/2017 15:37

No Never! Three DD's yes sometimes they can drive you round the bend but still love them to bits unconditionally:-)

2014newme · 16/05/2017 15:38

I love being a parent it took us five years of fertility treatments to have them so I feel very fortunate, my life could be very difficult.
Is it had work? Yes it is. No denying it.

Mari50 · 16/05/2017 15:39

I don't regret having my daughter, she's amazing. I do regret choosing the arsehole I did to be her father though. . . .

witsender · 16/05/2017 15:39

Me! Many be are awesome. Exhausting little buggers but awesome.

WankersHacksandThieves · 16/05/2017 15:40

I'm not going to say I've enjoyed every second as that can never be true. However I don't regret having my boys, they are teenagers now and going through exams etc. but they are the sun and moon in my sky and I would still walk over hot coals for them.

FuckingSausageFingers · 16/05/2017 15:46

The thing is, its quite easy to talk about how hard and knackering it is, but it's difficult to put into words the flip side of just how much you love them. For me anyway. When you go in to check on them before you go to bed and your heart does a little dance because you just love them SO much. Not sure if I've made complete sense there? I have never once regretted it. Love being a mum.

nannybeach · 16/05/2017 15:47

They are hard work I have 4 but have never regreted having them.

TheFirstMrsDV · 16/05/2017 15:48

I don't.
I wish I had more.

hottotrotsky · 16/05/2017 15:48

I don't regret having my gorgeous children but I do regret not being a better mum.

AmateurParents · 16/05/2017 15:49

Me and my husband were not trying for a baby and were at the peak of our careers in London, renting in Zone 4, out all the time, loving life and then BOOM, I was pregnant!

I have never been the maternal type and to be entirely honest I was pretty selfish. I liked spending money on myself and I love being on my own doing things like the gym etc. I don't really like other peoples kids. I used to find it awkward, like what do you talk about! I wasn't into the "lets dress up and pretend to be fairies" or lets go and play in the garden for hours on end. In all honestly they would irritate me. My cousin passed me her baby when I was pregnant and it felt so unnatural. I was very worried that I would be the same with my own child...

But... your not. They are the absolute light of your life and I cannot understand people that say they are not and regret having kids. The timing wasn't great, we had to buy a house very quickly and I missed a wonderful holiday with all my girls as I was giving birth as they were on yacht, I had to move away from my busy social life in London, earning a managers wage to a small quiet town where I knew no one to a part time job that pays pennies, but you know what, I'm the happiness I have ever been. We have such a wonderful family life on minimal money and it's all down to our gorgeous little boy. You make it work.

I am not in a rush to have anymore as I want a good quality of life for my child/future child. I want to put everything into them attention, love and education wise so I don't understand when people 'bang them out'. I want to spend as much time with each of my children in those precious days watching them grow into these little people that walk, and talk, and that's all down to me and my husband.

People that tell me 'oh well you don't want a big age gap' why? I have an 8 year age gap with one of my sister's. What is wrong with an age gap? I tell you what is wrong for me (in my opinion) having to pay 2 nursery fee's, having 2 in nappies, trying to potty train one whilst one is hanging off my breast, having no time to myself (selfish streak) the list goes on. I want my child to have a sibling but people that do not have kids that comment on why I'm not pregnant with the next need to keep the opinions to themselves. My husband was one of these, until he realised how much , time, money, dedication goes into bringing up a little person! It is however the BEST job in the world.

Yes I have had to give up ALOT but I can always get that back!

deydododatdodontdeydo · 16/05/2017 15:53

Um, the question is "does anyone regret NOT having kids?".
Three pages of people saying whether or not they regret having kids Hmm

Areyoufree · 16/05/2017 15:55

deydododatdodontdeydo I take it you didn't bother reading the OP then...

Itmustbemyage · 16/05/2017 15:56

Just for balance I have had days when I have had regrets with my youngest DS. Combination of ADHD and teenage hormones almost broke my DH and I. Parenting can be extremely hard and you and your partner need to be solid, otherwise your relationship may not survive (I know for some relationships that may not necessarily be a bad thing). But overall I have not regretted having children and now I have a lovely grandchild.

SophisticatedSkivvy · 16/05/2017 15:56

I didn't regret it until they became teenagers.

I currently have 3 of the most ungrateful, obnoxious, selfish brats on the planet.

All that hard work put in in the early years and that's what I get back Hmm.

Don't regret the 6 year old (yet) though Grin.

SleepingBooty · 16/05/2017 15:56

Definitely not here either. Although I have a great DH who's a wonderful father and involved DM and DPILs who adore our DDs too.
Becoming a parent has been a blessing for me.

1bighappyfamily · 16/05/2017 15:57

In their, and my, worst moments? Not even for a second.

DD1 is the kindest person I have ever met. She has a heart of gold. Absolute gold. Not a mean bone in her body. She's also super super smart - if inclined to take the easier route on occasion. She tries so hard at everything - and loves unconditionally. She's brilliant.

DD2 puts so much thought into every word that comes out of her mouth and every single one of those thoughts is writ large on her face. It's hilarious to watch. And is a MASTER of negotiation. Seriously - she could fix Brexit hands down. And she's three. You need to be strong to sustain her. But when she puts her arms around my neck, or puts her hand in mine I'm done for.

OP, I cried for 17 days straight when DD1 was born as I thought I'd made a HORRIBLE mistake in giving up my freedom but I have gained so much more than I could ever have wished for. I wouldn't change a second of it. Not one second.