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Original poster

Does anyone NOT regret having kids?!

220 replies

user1491297286 · 16/05/2017 14:51

Just recently I’ve noticed an influx of threads where parents have admitted that they regret having children and the negative impact it has had on their lives. I was surprised how many people feel this way, especially when social media is full of posts from parents glamorising parenthood and telling us all how amazing it is (call me naïve but having not had children myself - I tended to believe them!)

I have to say, as someone who was desperately looking forward to parenthood, I’m concerned Confused…. Is it really that bad?!

OP posts:
OvariesBeforeBrovaries · 16/05/2017 16:26

No regrets whatsoever. People often expect me to say I wish I'd waited, but I don't. I have no regrets about anything.

BorisTrumpsHair · 16/05/2017 16:27

I was never longing for kids or particularly looking forward to staring a family etc. But now I have 2 DC and life is good.

No regrets here.

MrsJoyOdell · 16/05/2017 16:27

I don't regret any of them even the tiniest bit. I'd go on having them forever if I could (we have 4 DCs)! I had my eldest at 18 and I love being a mum. Smile

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 16/05/2017 16:28

I've never regretted it. My children are in their 20s now. Yes, it was hard at times, but I always wanted to have children and I've never felt for a moment that it was the wrong thing to do. They are wonderful and have enriched my life enormously. It helps that my husband is a fantastic father and was very involved from the word go.

Upanddownroundandround · 16/05/2017 16:29

I think a lot of people don't regret having their children despite saying otherwise. They just are desperately seeking a break or a proper rest. Not just an hour off or someone to let them have a evening out but a proper week without having the constant responsibility and associated pressures.

Notalotterywinner · 16/05/2017 16:29

Hand on heart I totally don't regret having my DD. I can't imagine life without her.

CocoLoco87 · 16/05/2017 16:30

Even on the darkest of post-natal depression days, I don't regret it one bit. I feel low and numb quite a lot at the moment but my children are my WORLD and I wouldn't be without them. Smile

gamerwidow · 16/05/2017 16:31

I never regret having DD not even when she's being a PITA. She makes me laugh every day. I could explode with love for her.

Pooka · 16/05/2017 16:32

I don't regret having kids. I occasionally get a flash of wistfulness when I remember life before (the freedom) but its tempered by the conviction that I genuinely could not imagine life without them.

tinypop4 · 16/05/2017 16:33

No regrets here. I have hard days of course, and the lack of sleep was hard in the baby days but I'm so glad I have them. They are 4.5 and 2 now and I love watching them grow, learn new things and I have an additional sense of purpose in bringing them up.
DD1 was a big surprise and DH (then DP) was terrified of having a baby, wasn't keen on the inevitable life changes and found the whole idea of it hard. She completely transformed his life, and he adores that she is here and he was the one desperate for a second!
It has hard times of course, but I don't have regrets at all. (I do miss lie ins though!)

The80sweregreat · 16/05/2017 16:34

I can see why people dont have them but I couldnt be without my own two. Yes, it was hard and your life isnt your own ( even as they grow up) but i love them both to bits and wouldnt be without them.
I know couples without any though and they are just as happy and can do all those things I couldnt when they were younger.
I agree that the media, adverts etc like to show the up sides constantly.
its not like that at all and is hard going at times. Its not a Disney world!

Ilikecheeriosyum · 16/05/2017 16:35

Thing is though regret is useless because who knows it you would have enjoyed the extra money, career opportunities and holidays and sleep more? You don't know, nobody knows,

You could regret them deeply but if you hadn't have had them you could have had a worse life, no one knows!

So enjoy whatever you choose just make the right choice for you :)

I don't believe the hype of "you don't know love until you have kids" or "your life isn't complete"
Because you cannot measure or quantify it to compare and you just because the person saying that, loves their kids more than anything doesnt mean someone else will.

BitofaPoorEffort · 16/05/2017 16:41

Becoming a step mum is one of the best things that has ever happened to me...it is really hard at times, life has changed beyond recognition, but truly, our boy is the sunshine of my life. I have zero regrets.

DepthsUnknown · 16/05/2017 16:42

I had my first DC when I was still at school. There were moments of regret, because I missed out on some things, but mainly because I knew I couldn't provide him with the things I potentially could have if i'd been older and more stable financially etc. He turns 18 this year and he's an amazing person and we get on really well. He is very laid back though and will concede to my greater life experience so has been relatively easy to parent. He's even taken his useless father's continuous disappointments in his stride. I don't regret anything now.

I also have two younger daughters, the eldest we suspect has ASD and has huge mental health problems. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have moments where I regret having more children as its so much harder with two close in age as they fight a lot. My life has been turned upside down by the problems my eldest DD has and I often feel like this is not the life I thought I was signing myself up to. Before the problems started, I was blissfully happy with parenthood despite having an abusive husband (now XH). I just hope that we can find the help my DD needs and that both my DDs are closer as they get older.

BlahBlahBlahEtc · 16/05/2017 16:43

I don't regret having my daughter, she changed my life entirely for the better. I have M.E which was so severe I was bedridden for almost 5 years (ups and downs but mainly), I also had a severe allergy condition which meant I was allergic to the world and everything in it, having my daughter has turned both of these illnesses into remission to the point where I am almost entirely recovered of both (it was luck but I'm not gonna complain about it lol). Add onto that, that I get to spend every day with the most amazing human I've ever known.

Sure, it's hard, I'm exhausted and stressed but do I regret it, not a chance.

CPtart · 16/05/2017 16:45

Never ever ever, and watching/hearing my DC interact together independently of me gives me the single greatest pleasure in life. Watching them grow physically and emotionally and learn to fend for themselves as people in their own right, is amazing.

mummabearfoyrbabybears · 16/05/2017 16:45

My four have been the absolute making of me. I adore them all so very much. Never regretted it ever! And I don't know anyone in RL that's regretted it either.

Cloudhopping · 16/05/2017 16:45

I regretted it when they were babies but I was deeply depressed. Not for one moment do I regret it now.

Gvwxy · 16/05/2017 16:48

I have 6 and yes its hard but no I don't regret any one of them not one little bit

oblada · 16/05/2017 16:48

I've never regretted having my kids! I have 3 of them and absolutely loving it! Yes it can be tiring but no no regret. I don't even miss the 'freedom' because we still do what we like, just with the kids in toe! And watching them learn and experience life is beyond amazing.

DorotheaHomeAlone · 16/05/2017 16:50

I do not regret it even a little and I'm right in the thick of it with a 1yo and a 2yo. They are amazingly fun. I do find some bits hard going but never enough to regret having them. They light up every day in a way that makes my pre-child life look flat and empty by comparison.

DustyMaiden · 16/05/2017 16:51

I have never regretted it. I adore my DC, they have brought me so much happiness.

I loved every minute.

museumum · 16/05/2017 16:52

I have one child. No regrets.
However I feel that I personally would maybe not feel the same with two or three children.
With one there's time for all three of us in the family to thrive. I fear that if we'd had more children there would have been no time for me to do more than survive.

Katedotness1963 · 16/05/2017 16:53

Due to fertility problems we had a bit of a wait to start our family (14 years). They are absolutely worth the wait, every minute of tests, procedures and medications. That's not to say there haven't been days when they tested my patience and had me in tears but never one did I regret having them. They're 16 and 18 this year and I can honestly say they're lovely people and I am full of pride and joy over them.

BlueKarou · 16/05/2017 16:59

Not a moment of regret. Many moments of 'why did I do this?' 'why is this so hard' 'is this my life now', but then so many more moments of joy and sheer amazement at this tiny human (now 15 months) who I get the privilege of bringing up and spending my time with.