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Original poster

Does anyone NOT regret having kids?!

220 replies

user1491297286 · 16/05/2017 14:51

Just recently I’ve noticed an influx of threads where parents have admitted that they regret having children and the negative impact it has had on their lives. I was surprised how many people feel this way, especially when social media is full of posts from parents glamorising parenthood and telling us all how amazing it is (call me naïve but having not had children myself - I tended to believe them!)

I have to say, as someone who was desperately looking forward to parenthood, I’m concerned Confused…. Is it really that bad?!

OP posts:
ahipponamedbooboobutt · 16/05/2017 16:59

I don't regret my kids. They are incredible little people who amaze me every day. And they are all so different (I have 4 btw) I sometimes wonder how so many different personalities can be made using the same genes.

I fell pregnant with my first when I was 18 mind, whilst I was still at school, so I've never had the freedom that many regretters miss. I've never been able to book a last minute get away, or sleep in till god knows when. I'll look forward to that once they've all grown up.

KimKardashiansArse · 16/05/2017 16:59

I don't. They're hard work but there's so much happiness I'd never have experienced if I didn't have them.

strikhedonia · 16/05/2017 16:59

No regret at all. I miss sleep, but my life would have had no real purpose without my kids, simple.

I do hate people who seem to think that women are not really women if they are not mothers. There's no rule, we do what we bloody want.

gluteustothemaximus · 16/05/2017 17:00

No way Pedro.

DH and I had shite upbringings. We love our chaotic life now with 3 kids. I love getting 5 plates out for dinner and putting them in size order Grin

We're very relaxed. We get lie ins every weekend, kids are adaptable and not dictated by strict routines, so I don't feel any different or less free, just busier.

I don't miss going out, getting drunk, having my arse pinched, cat called, being lonely.

I love movie nights, snuggly mornings, baking cakes, and laughing every day. Never for even a second, even in my darkest hour have I ever felt regret.

chocatoo · 16/05/2017 17:00

I have never ever regretted having my DD not even for a millisecond. I have loved being a Mum from the word go. I just regret that I left it too late to have more than 1 child.

CBeebiesaddict · 16/05/2017 17:02

I regretted it when DS was a baby (he is 15mo now so not long ago). I spent so many hours crying over how I had ruined my life and my marriage. Over the last few months light has begun to appear and my life is starting to regain some normalcy.

I love my DS more than life and if anything happened to him I would be destroyed. I do my very best to be the best mum I can and I think I am doing an OK job.

I miss my old life so much though and am so envious of our friends without children. We will not be having anymore as my focus is on being the best I can be for DS and I think another child would destroy me. It breaks my heart that that is how I feel as I always wanted 2-3 children.

So a mixed bag from me. Now that he is here I couldn't bear for anything to happen to DS and he brings me a lot of joy. I do wonder what I would do if I could go back in time though and not have him at all but I try not to think about it as it makes me feel so guilty.

CBeebiesaddict · 16/05/2017 17:03

Forgot to mention I am not a fan of babies and toddlers but love older children so I expect my feelings to change once DS starts school :) I long for when he is old enough to snuggle up and watch a film etc.

TreeTop7 · 16/05/2017 17:06

No regrets. I regret the relationship with their dad, which limped on for 8-9 years more than it should have "because of the children", but I've never regretted my DC themselves. It was hard work when they were 3 and 1 though! I found that period tough. Never felt I'd made a mistake, however. .

WhooooAmI24601 · 16/05/2017 17:06

Nope no regrets here. I love my life with children. They made me (and continue to make me) a better person. I work harder at life, I think things through and I try to temper everything with patience and kindness now that they're here.

I work harder at my marriage because of the DC. I'm kinder to DH because of the DC (I'm pretty kind anyway) because I want to set them the right example. They make my heart just fill up and glow even on the shittest of days and for every crappy day there are a million gorgeous moments.

I grew up in foster care and underestimated as a child, and even before the DCs, how much I wanted and needed that bond with others in my life. Now that I have it, I value it enormously. They are incredible.

user1493759849 · 16/05/2017 17:10

Give the links to ALL these threads OP.

Otherwise I will assume you are just trying to stir the pot and get the child-free people, and mothers bitching and back biting.

And no I DON'T regret for a second having my kids. Neither does anyone I know.

So where are all these threads...? Confused

BeautyQueenFromMars · 16/05/2017 17:10

I still haven't decided whether I want children, but I have never regretted having my son for even one second. He can be hard work sometimes (as can I!), and once in a very long while I muse about how nice it would be to just go on a spontaneous night out, but I never wish I didn't have him. He's amazing.

Starlight2345 · 16/05/2017 17:17

I have seen the odd thread but don't tend to click on them..I have had some really tough times with my DS but never once regretted having him.

OdinsLoveChild · 16/05/2017 17:18

I don't regret having my children. Theyre bloody amazing.

I do regret not going back to work earlier, not because of having the children but because after 3 years of job hunting and not 1 single job offer I'm starting to feel a bit down. I got every single job I went for before children now I cant even get an offer. I can only assume that almost 15 years out of the workplace is a massive issue for modern bosses. I'd like to say its ageism I'm convinced it is but according to those I have received feedback from its more to do with not up to date qualifications because they don't rate or understand GCE's/O Levels

KC225 · 16/05/2017 17:21

Had twins a week before my 43rd birthday. Love it. Never regretted it even during the knackering two hour feeds, Potty training two etc

JPduck · 16/05/2017 17:21

No regrets here at all. Love my Dd sooo much, couldn't imagine life without her. I always wanted children 😀

greenworm · 16/05/2017 17:22

I don't regret not having kids, but many of my friends and family regret it on my behalf. They are convinced I am missing out and would be happier if I had one.

gamerchick · 16/05/2017 17:22

I think a lot of people don't regret having their children despite saying otherwise. They just are desperately seeking a break or a proper rest. Not just an hour off or someone to let them have a evening out but a proper week without having the constant responsibility and associated pressures

Well it's a taboo isn't it, just like a poster a few above mine who wants the proof these threads exist, people can't wrap their head around it and if they voice it they're seen as unnatural.

There are those who if they could turn back time would never have had kids. It's not really regret as such as there's no point in that emotion and it also doesn't make you a shit parent either.

The threads exist but none for quite a while (or I've missed them) which makes me wonder if the OP of this one is a GF or a journo.

TooGood2BeFalse · 16/05/2017 17:25

I had my children with the wrong person. I have a 5 year old with HFA and a 10 month old.

Now single and alone with both, STBXH maybe visits them 2 hours a week. I have no break, literally live in slob wear and have had to give up a job I adored (altho part time) to keep them safe from STBXH.

I am tired and lonely and sad.

I do not regret having my children EVER. I love them more than I thought possible and I feel privileged to be their mother.

Not saying they don't piss me off at times Grin DS1 can drive me mental.But I honestly absolutely adore them and don't regret anything for one second

RoboticSealpup · 16/05/2017 17:26

Hell no, not even on a bad day. I can say that with 100% honesty.

Ameliablue · 16/05/2017 17:28

No regrets.

Eolian · 16/05/2017 17:30

Nope, never regretted it. I do have fairly 'easy' dc though. Slept through from 3 months, generally well-behaved and good company. They're age 9 and 11 now. Of course they could turn out to be nightmare teenagers...

littlenamechanges · 16/05/2017 17:31

It's bloody hard work but I love my children with all my heart and wouldn't change them for anything

AllFurCoatNoKnockers · 16/05/2017 17:52

Not an ounce of regret.
All the things I missed preDC are things that in the grand scheme of things really don't mean that much - lie ins, long leisurely lunches etc.
It's hard, and my life is very different now but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Gvwxy · 16/05/2017 17:54

I have 6 children and I do not regret
Any one of them they are my life

AnneElliott · 16/05/2017 18:51

I've seen the earlier threads.

I don't regret having DS, and I was in no way maternal. However I've only had the one as I did find it hard work.