School yard mum and school runs

[rainbowsandglitterandshit]

I have no idea what my question even is, but i don't know if I am just bad tempered or what. So here is the story:

About 6 weeks ago one of the
mums from the playground had a baby. She had no one as a birthing partner and asked me last minute, I went to the hospital and was there while she gave birth. Lovely experience and was so pleased I went. Took her some bits she needed whilst in hospital and took her 2 other DCs for the night when she got home so she could settle.

Since then I have had daily texts. I have done the school run every day for her. Then I get a text asking to do the pick up. So I agree. Then another asking if I could possibly have them for tea because she is just so tired. Hmmm, wellll okay then. Then weekends would I take both kids and the newborn whilst she rests. This has been for the last 4 of 6 weeks.

I work full time, albeit my boss gives me great flexibility and I make my own appts so it has been do-able, but I feel like now is the time to stop. In summer me and the kids walk to school, and when i mentioned this today she was genuinely offended and said 'oh what will i do now? can you still take them?'

I live a 25 minute walk from school but in the opposite direction she does. The after school pick ups are becoming a nightmare when i deal with 5 kida instead of my 3 and weekends are chaos when I am taking a newborn with us. Plus we can't go in the car because of how many kids I'm taking.

I really want to help her but all this plus work means I'm absolutely shattered, no way can i do an extra half hour round trip to walk her kids to school, and I can't carry on the nightly after school thing or every weekend with all 3 of her kids.

So WIBU to just tell her I can't? or am i a shitty friend and should just grin and bare it?

Unfortunately said person has now disappeared wothout her children, she is obviously in a much worse state than i thought. she is reported as missing and i have the oldest child here. hopefully she will come back and get the help she needs. again, thank you for the posts

That is a most unexpected, not to mention dramatic, turn of events. Reported as missing by who? Why do you have only the eldest child? And where are the youngest two?

Goodness I remember your post a few days ago. The fact that she was willing to leave her newborn so often with someone she didn't know that well seemed a pretty alarming sign at the time.

So you have the police and social services involved?

Very sad.

Im not surprised ypu cpuldnt posy sooner Op you have a lot on.

Im glad you spoke to her and understand a bit more but its so sad its ended like this.
I.hope she comes back and her children dont miss her too much. I hope she is ok.

oh, how sad. How has the younger children?

Oh dear, what a mess. Hope all the children are with kind and loving people like you, op, and that she turns up soon.

Has this been in the local press? Do you have a link?

No you are doing way to much you'll burn yourself out . I would stop the weekends and evenings from now and the mornings say after half term , gives her time to prepare herself . You've been a terrific friend don't feel bad but enough is enough x

Hope they find her soon x

Even once or twice a week is a huge commitment! You'd be better off, and so would she, if you stop having them and spend a bit of time seeing what help and support there is for her on a more official level. Children's centres usually have family support workers and parenting courses, HV appointments etc. You just can't continue like this she's taking the piss!!

Shit I just saw the update, I thought I'd read the full thread??!!

Ok so what's the situation now?

Where are the youngest children op? The 3 year old and newborn?

if you work in drug/alcohol services would you not know about Homestart?

and yeah - where are the little ones? is there a suspicion that the woman in question may be a danger to herself? how did you know she was missing, had the children been left alone, and did SS agree that you take the older child on?

it sounds very stressful and i hope you can sort it out.

I just googled this as you say the woman has been reported missing - with no results. A new mum with two other kids has vanished? I would have thought this would be online fairly soon.

Can't find it though.

How strange.

The OP posted on here twice last night about a flower delivery she had made.

OP any news on the mum and her kids? It is a really worrying situation.

I think there was another thread but it was taken down due to the details and it being over sensitive.

Goodness. I don't really know what to say- hopefully she will return and get the help she needs. You be careful too. You will burn yourself out then who will look after you.

Sorry it was Friday not Yesterday

Oh my God. This is dreadful! Has it been in the news?

Mother of tiny baby goes missing is usually national news as high risk of harm to her so they need public help to find her

How has the eldest wound up with you? Very odd. If this is true I pray she gets all the help she needs.

Where are the other 2 kids? Has there been any news?

OP is th