School yard mum and school runs

[rainbowsandglitterandshit]

I have no idea what my question even is, but i don't know if I am just bad tempered or what. So here is the story:

About 6 weeks ago one of the
mums from the playground had a baby. She had no one as a birthing partner and asked me last minute, I went to the hospital and was there while she gave birth. Lovely experience and was so pleased I went. Took her some bits she needed whilst in hospital and took her 2 other DCs for the night when she got home so she could settle.

Since then I have had daily texts. I have done the school run every day for her. Then I get a text asking to do the pick up. So I agree. Then another asking if I could possibly have them for tea because she is just so tired. Hmmm, wellll okay then. Then weekends would I take both kids and the newborn whilst she rests. This has been for the last 4 of 6 weeks.

I work full time, albeit my boss gives me great flexibility and I make my own appts so it has been do-able, but I feel like now is the time to stop. In summer me and the kids walk to school, and when i mentioned this today she was genuinely offended and said 'oh what will i do now? can you still take them?'

I live a 25 minute walk from school but in the opposite direction she does. The after school pick ups are becoming a nightmare when i deal with 5 kida instead of my 3 and weekends are chaos when I am taking a newborn with us. Plus we can't go in the car because of how many kids I'm taking.

I really want to help her but all this plus work means I'm absolutely shattered, no way can i do an extra half hour round trip to walk her kids to school, and I can't carry on the nightly after school thing or every weekend with all 3 of her kids.

So WIBU to just tell her I can't? or am i a shitty friend and should just grin and bare it?

I think your being more than kind! Sorry but she chose to have 3 children...You need to put your family first. Maybe she needs to speak to her HV about getting some help.

How do you do all this when you've not long broken your ribs?

Just must be really hard, I suppose.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2917657-arghhh-i-m-in-agony

Uh oh

This does all sound very odd

Anyone remember the thread about the woman who used to take her child to a poster's house every morning, uninvited, for school drop off? I think they were in Scotland.

I would tell her that you are unable to do the school runs now. She's having lots of rest while you are doing everything.

OP, did you recently order a "Frozen" themed cake for your child's birthday?

If this is serious, you should probably get off that rollercoaster.

Ask her for her CB to cover the expenses, she will stop asking

I find that woman's cheekiness literally unbelievable.

This is utterly bizarre. Looking after
Her newborn every week???? How is that even right, she barely knows you. This has to stop

I think you need a simple from tomorrow, my work is really busy and I can't do any more with your kids.

It's blunt, short but doesn't allow deviation and gives you an excuse.

'I had probably had 4 conversations in the playground when she asked me to be her birthing partner'
I find this whole situation really odd TBH and yes I would be actually putting a stop to it.

.

I really hope you stop this madness OP. You seem so so lovely. You've gone above and beyond helping this woman and her kids out.

I'm shocked at the level of piss she is taking, added to the fact she got arsey when you said you can't take them in the summer. With the amount you've done for her I can't believe how ungrateful and entitled she is. Agree with PP that she's a user and that's why she doesn't have anyone in her life.

This isn't your problem and these aren't your children. She is leeching your time and your money and now your mental health is suffering. That's not worth it just so she can sit on her arse. She should have thought of that before she had three kids!

Please cut it down to one night at week for tea and one Saturday a month. That's more than generous in itself with no reciprocation.

I actually feel a bit sorry for the OP here and don't think she is a troll, frozen cake or otherwise. Reading the rib thread, she states she is a former opiate addict and drug worker. IME, by nature, addicts, recovering or otherwise, can be be vulnerable to exploitation and this would explain why she is struggling to say no to this user who is taking the piss out of her instinct to please.

Also, she is in a caring profession and again, probably has a strong sense of social responsibility, perhaps to "pay back" those who helped her in her own recovery from hard times or to prove how far she has come (all speculation, please don't flame me, just a theory!).

You have done enough for this person OP, time to be honest and say you can't do anymore. If she turns against you then she was not a friend in the first place.

Gives me anxiety just reading this I could not do what you are doing.

I second the homestart charity, they are there purely for this reason, parents or mums etc that need additional help.
I know someone who used them as she had five kids under 6 and couldn't cope as two were newborn twins. They helped her with housework, played with the kids, sorted meal plans etc they were a life saver for her

At this rate youll invite her (or not) to her own child's 18th.
ThIs is unbelievable

Even I'm not falling for this one...

For gods sake just say no
Is this even real ?

Has to be a joke

.

Bizzare

Are you married to this woman?
Because you're doing more childcare for her than a lot of husbands do