OH has fallen out with me and I feel wretched

[CabbagePatchKid91]

Full disclosure: I have a 16 day old baby so am feeling super emotional.
My auntie made us some bunting for the baby's room. It's really lovely. She is coming to see us this weekend so I thought it would be nice to put the bunting up. I researched to find the best way to put the bunting up without the paint coming off the wall.
We got some hooks that stick on. OH stuck them up and tied the bunting on. The hook came off and took the paint with it . We don't have any of the nursery paint to cover it. OH is furious. Won't speak to me. Told me that I've spoiled the nursery. I'm going to go get a tester in the morning to cover it up but he's not talking to me now and I feel like howling. I feel awful. He's had such a hard day at work after the baby kept us up all night.
How can I fix this?

Please ignore dontpull

Taking 'your' baby? He was with their baby. He didn't take the baby anywhere. Is he not allowed to spend time with him/her?
Mentioning he's tired. Can he not express that?
Where I do agree with you was that he was completely unreasonable to complain about the paintwork. I would be more concerned if he showed no contrition but he did apologise. They're both getting used to being exhausted parents. Now, the father may be an abusive twat. None of us know him. But from the information we have, and not what has been projected from other posters, I see know evidence.

*no

Well, I bet you didn't expect all that ^ did you OP

Black are you being intentionally obtuse? Are you deliberately not reading anything the op has said or anyone else for that matter?
So a man holding his child is now classed as 'taking' his baby..
a man saying he is tired 16 weeks into being a parent is wrong and not allowed?
The only thing I agree on is his over reaction to the paint, and guess what! Mumsnet is full of women going over the top complaining about pfb things, but because he is a man it's not ok? Get a over yourself and find some grips to get!

taking your baby look at way you've worded that. I'm so fucking shocked I feel sick. It's not her baby it's both of their baby! Seriously fucked off with the man haters on here!

Wow, talk about an over reaction from him! I dread to think what he'd be like if you actually did something bad

His behaviour towards op was unacceptable, he realised that and apologised. I agree, there seems to be a lot of overexaggeration on here. He took the baby, and op took her back. However, there seems to be a tendency for him to be controlling, so that is something to watch out for.

Where does it show him being controlling? Genuinely asking.

If anyone thinks a man who reacted in this way to a bit of paint peeling off is "just holding" his baby then they have been blessed in having no experience of abusive men.

Your partner is being a colossal fucking prick. What sort of bloke stops talking to his wife over a bit of damaged paint? You've just had a baby together and he's throwing tantrums over shit like this?

A bit of peeled paint can easily be covered up. Is he always as stroppy as this over tiny things? When your baby is at the walking and crawling stage, things all over the house will be getting marked, chipped and broken.

My DH did something really horrible when DD was a week or 2 old. He apologised and said he was ashamed. He's been a brilliant father and DH ever since (9 years).

We put it down to extreme tiredness, frustration and being completely unprepared for the intensity of being a new parent.

Op has said in her other posts, that he likes the house to be perfect, tidy, not scruffy, this behaviour from him was part of his control issues, overreaction to a bit of paint falling off. Op probably walking on eggshells in case he looses his rag again.

from op Thank you. He is a good man but has very high standards and expects our house to be perfect all the time. He doesn't like if things aren't just so. Now I'm sat in the bathroom crying because he's got DD and I want her with me but feel I can't ask to have her because of the situation

Op did not put up the hooks and bunting, he did, and took it out on her, when it fell off. Keep and eye on it op.

He'd had a long day at work after a sleepless night, and threw a sulk over something minor. If a female had done this we'd all be sympathetic and telling stories of when we'd done similar, but cos it's a man he must be controlling and abusive?!

I have been in an abusive relationship, in fact I seem to always end up with a twat. I don't see this as abuse sorry.

Women get angry about pfb things, they then also hold their baby. Are they being abusive too?

Tiredness is no excuse for cuntiness. Especially towards your wife, who has given birth just over 2 weeks ago, over fucking bunting.

"Where does it show him being controlling? Genuinely asking."

He likes things in the house to be maintained to a very high standard. When they both did something that caused very minor damage, he lost his temper and blamed her for it. Expeciting very high standards and being dispropotionatly angry when they are not maintained can be a sign of being controlling. Blaming the other person for something that isn't their fault can be a sign of being controlling, particularly if it confusing and unsettling and leaves the other person questioning their version of events. The OP sitting on her own in the bathroom feeling unable to go to their baby could be a sign that she is frightened of her partner. Or if not frightened at least very unsure about his reactions.

If everything's fine then no problem. But sometimes people are not aware that they are in a potential abusive relationship. Looking at the signs and either dismissing them out of hand if they don't ring any bells at all, or storing them away just in case more red flags appear is just sensible.

Wow, he's really over reacting about a bit of chipped paint. No wonder you feel wretched, 2 week old baby or not Does your OH have form for being an over-dramatic sulky asshat?

Agree about cup hooks being better. It's easy enough to fill the holes when you redecorate a few years down the line, too.

I hope things have settled down a bit now. Having a brand new baby is very exhausting and testing so this is probably just a reflection of that.

Things do get better. My DD is 4.5 and tensions aren't running so high now, so when DP used that no more nails stuff to put up a shower curtain and it fell down, leaving a massive gap where the paint used to be, I just laughed. And I am fairly houseproud! He'll learn priorities in time.

Er baby is 16 days old, DontPull. Curious as to how the OP will be nicely rested due to mat leave and her husband will be exhausted due to working, after 16 days?

And all this 'it's his baby too.' At 2 weeks out the womb there is no comparison in the parenting role. Baby shouldn't be removed from mother against her wishes.

I'm sorry but I still don't see that as controlling 😐 if the op knew this in advance which I am sure she did then why stay if it was an issue? If a woman came on here being particular about how things should be then people seem to accept that as ok, they do tell her she should relax more but she doesn't get the abuse thrown at her that this guy is strung.

She has the time to rest while pregnant, you get maternity leave while pregnant don't you? I don't work so I guess I don't really know. He didn't take the baby from her. She wasn't even holding the baby at the time as he was she chose to go into the bathroom and have a cry (I've done it myself) not once did I think my partner holding our child was him 'taking' her away from me and I breastfed.

Not sure why the word strung is there.