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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

OH has fallen out with me and I feel wretched

220 replies

CabbagePatchKid91 · 08/05/2017 19:46

Full disclosure: I have a 16 day old baby so am feeling super emotional.
My auntie made us some bunting for the baby's room. It's really lovely. She is coming to see us this weekend so I thought it would be nice to put the bunting up. I researched to find the best way to put the bunting up without the paint coming off the wall.
We got some hooks that stick on. OH stuck them up and tied the bunting on. The hook came off and took the paint with it Angry. We don't have any of the nursery paint to cover it. OH is furious. Won't speak to me. Told me that I've spoiled the nursery. I'm going to go get a tester in the morning to cover it up but he's not talking to me now and I feel like howling. I feel awful. He's had such a hard day at work after the baby kept us up all night.
How can I fix this?

OP posts:
ChasedByBees · 08/05/2017 20:02

Wait, he put them up so why are you in the wrong? Also, you feeling like you need to fix this and feeling so bad about it isn't normal.

Thank you. He is a good man but has very high standards and expects our house to be perfect all the time. He doesn't like if things aren't just so. Now I'm sat in the bathroom crying because he's got DD and I want her with me but feel I can't ask to have her because of the situation

This doesn't sound good. She needs her mummy. You can go to her. Things won't be perfect now you have a child, you both need to let some stuff go. How will he react if things aren't just so?

I'm finding this post really sad and worrying.

Theworldisfullofidiots · 08/05/2017 20:02

Is this your first child?
He better get used to the house not being perfect.....
Get the Baby and go to a friend's or your mum's if possible.

notanurse2017 · 08/05/2017 20:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pollydonia · 08/05/2017 20:04

He sounds like a nasty bastard, go and get your baby off him. What the hell is he going to be like with a toddler running round causing chaos ?

SunshineDeLaSoul · 08/05/2017 20:05

What a totalcunt. Go get your baby and tell him to go fuck himself.

LuluJakey1 · 08/05/2017 20:05

He is not a 'good man'. You feel you can't ask to hold your own 16 day old baby 'because of the situation'. What situation - a fall out over a dot of paint? He is a bully.

greenworm · 08/05/2017 20:06

You feel guilty and as if you've done something bad. You haven't done anything. He is the one who has done something ridiculous and bad, hugely overreacting to a bit of paint coming of a wall and refusing to talk to you because of it. You need to try to understand that his overreaction and apalling treatment of you is the problem here, and take back the power. Honestly Id try to laugh at him, because that's what something as stupid as his overreaction deserves, but I know it's not as simple as that. I hope that this all blows over quickly, then you need to think about how you will deal with similar situations arising in the future. Things will never be perfect for long, because that's life.

BertrandRussell · 08/05/2017 20:07

It's no point saying "go and get your baby and tell him he's a dick" to a scared, crying vulnerable person- if she could do that she would.
Cabbage patch- talk to us some more. Are you frightened of him?

Branleuse · 08/05/2017 20:07

You haven't done anything wrong.
Are you always walking on eggshells around him?

category12 · 08/05/2017 20:08

What a prick he is.

BoffinMum · 08/05/2017 20:08

This is not good. Can a relative have a word with him?

LuluJakey1 · 08/05/2017 20:09

I have a 4 week old DD. DH works long hours and mucks in with everything at home. He has been wonderful trying to make life easier for me as I have found a 4 week old and our 28 month old DS exhausting. If he fell out with me over something as trivial as a dab of paint we would never be speaking. YOur DH is controlling and emotionally abusive. You deserve better Flowers Don't put up with it.

Fruitcorner123 · 08/05/2017 20:11

Your second post is worrying op. Firstly he may have had a hard day at work but you have no doubt had a hard day with the baby and maybe he was kept up a bit but I bet you did the night feeds and changes so I have NO sympathy there. Secondly you do not have to ask to hold your own child. Go and get her. Are you scared of him? At first I thought he was just grumpy and tired, now i have the impression that he is controlling and a bully.

Darbs76 · 08/05/2017 20:12

Go get your baby and go to bed out of the miserable sod's way. He's being a dick. Totally over reacting and being horrible to you

Parker231 · 08/05/2017 20:12

I hope he realizes that your house will never be perfect with a baby in the house. Go and get your baby, have a lovely cuddle and tell your DH to grow up!

liquidrevolution · 08/05/2017 20:13

He is in for a huge shock as your DD gets older. Kids ain't lovely clean tidy things.

Go and get your daughter, she needs her mummy.

Mamia15 · 08/05/2017 20:13

This is not normal Confused

JigglyTuff · 08/05/2017 20:13

You sound really scared of him :(

PrettyGoodLife · 08/05/2017 20:14

Congratulations on your new born. So sad that you are dealing with this, it does not sound proportionate or rational. You need to be focusing on LO. Some sound advice on this thread already!

Mamia15 · 08/05/2017 20:14

He sounds controlling and nasty - it's only bloody paint.

KarmaNoMore · 08/05/2017 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HotelEuphoria · 08/05/2017 20:15

I am a decorating freak but seriously, this damaged paint must be what? An inch square? He sounds nuts.

KarmaNoMore · 08/05/2017 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HotelEuphoria · 08/05/2017 20:17

Gang in a minute, HE stuck up the hooks, what a feckin asshole.

Sassenach85 · 08/05/2017 20:17

Hope you are ok OP? Brew