To have 'humiliated' my MIL

[ImALurkerNotAFighter]

MIL has an awful tendency to do 'penis portions'. I'd avoided staying with her for a few years, as when breastfeeding she'd served up a tiny inadequate meal, then told me she hadn't done a plate for DS as 'he could just have some of mine' This was on top of sly little digs about my weight.
So MIL wanted us to stay this weekend so she could spend time with the DC. DH usually goes alone but apparently as I'm free this weekend it would be rude for me not to come. They very kindly babysat the asleep DC while we went to the pub. This morning MIL does breakfast for us and SIL and BIL. I get 1 small sausage, 1 half piece of bacon, 1 egg and a small slice of dry toast. MIL and SIL have similar. DH, FIL and BIL get 3 large sausages, 2 bacon, 2 eggs, beans and black pudding. I asked MIL if there was any more, she looked shocked and said no.
I was very cross at this point and walked round the table, took half the sausage, black pudding and beans off a very quiet DH to even it up (we were both left with pretty equal quantities) and sat back down.
MIL feels I have humiliated her, and 'at your size you clearly don't realise that was a proper breakfast '. I'm a size 18, so yes, fat.
I'm fuming and want to leave now. DH wants to stay and take them out for lunch as planned.
I know there are mumsnetters out there who believe the wimminz should subsist on a lettuce leaf and a sniff of meat, but sensible people of mumsnet WIBU? AIBU to pack the DC and leave?

I think I met User the other night, or her equally boring twin. Was in the pub and we (there was a crowd of us) were lectured on the amount of calories in alcohol and how we would all get diabetes etc and that her Fitbit had changed her life.

Certainly changed mine because I had the most rotten hangover yesterday morning as I had hit the bar to escape her.

User14 - are you a first year biology undergraduate by any chance?

Please tell me there's now an x-ray on display in a&e and Anne's fit bit in the "lost and found" arse box

And a new

It is my husbands TDEE is 600 Cals more then me on a rest day, I am a sahm so on his work days his cal difference can be up to 1000cals more then I need.

Fact that Mil and Sil eat that proportion of food usually and are not overweight while OP eats way more that she gets in a huff and steels food from others plates shows MiL knows how to give out correct portions of food and OP doesn't

This thread is a good one for "if this is the answer, what was the question". The OP did not ask "was my portion adequate" or "how can I lose weight".

Flump thank you, I am now going to hell as I properly belly laughed to that! :o

user1494184470 but the mil doesn't give correct portions when you compare the amount given to men versus women. Don't look at one bit in isolation look at the whole picture.

User please will you just FUCK OFF with the fucking weight loss "advice" and fat shaming!

No one gives a fuck about your TEEDEEEEEEEEE or your sodding body/fat/arse ratio.......you like it, its changed your life. That is great, genuinely. But only for YOU. The rest of the world really doesnt care. Why dont you get that?!

Mum2jenny, your activity will be taken into account on you TDEE with the fitbit that is why you eat you calorie need to that. Like I said my TDEE on a low activity day is 1600, so I eat to that, on a day I do a 50km bike ride I eat
near 2100 cal that day to maintain my weight.

If she's feeding you the same as herself and your SIL she isn't singling you out to be rude. If you're going out for lunch the breakfast she gave you was fine, I think you overreacted.

Yeah. It's not like she singled you out. If she had then that would have been mean.
Maybe she's one of those people who believes that men need more calories than men?

General Recommendations

In general, a moderately active 19- to 30-year-old woman needs 2,000 to 2,200 calories a day, whereas a man in the same category needs 2,600 to 2,800. A 31- to 50-year-old woman at the same activity level needs 2,000 calories and a man needs 2,400 to 2,600 calories a day. A woman older than 50 needs 1,800 and a man older than 50 needs 2,200 to 2,400 calories.

Muscle Mass

One factor that affects the number of calories you can consume is your body composition. Muscle requires more calories than fat, so the more muscle you have, the more calories you can consume without gaining weight. In general, men have more muscle mass than women, so they can eat more calories than women. However, body composition can vary within gender and age. Height and weight affect your caloric intake, so it is best to figure out individualized caloric intakes.

At the risk of being very unpopular, men generally DO need more calories than women.
Still, it's not her job to police you. It's up to you how big your portions are.

PyongyangKipperbang

But OP is complaining she is not get mens portions when biologically she doesn't need that and that's why she is 18 Stone, if people are not told information they won't learn and will continue to make mistakes.

User14 - are you a first year biology undergraduate by any chance?

Oi. Don't insult biology students.

user14 i hadn't disclosed mil or sil's weight. Both are overweight. I do remember the evangelical fervour of when a new method of weight loss send to be working. Just remember statistics say you'll put it all back on......

OP how has your DH responded? That's going to matter a lot for the future.

When did i say i was 18 stone.......!

Sorry size 18, I have kept off for a year so far and I measure my TDEE everyday so eat to my needs to I know I won't, it's why I am telling you to get the FITBIT is you measure your calories you will lose weight and you will keep it off.

If the OP had asked "how can I lose weight", all the fitbots and tdees would be extremely welcome. As it is...

😇 sorry lweji

There are a lot of people with fucked up attitudes to food on mumsnet!

Really? By your own admission you're overweight, I'm a size 18, so yes, fat.
No offence, but I don't think it's only others with a fucked up attitude to food.

thedevil
DH is crap at dealing with his parents. He is much better in our normal life. They are both odd, and likely to withdraw from him
if he disagrees with them. They'll come to us. I won't go to them. He apologised for his lack of support.

user1494184470
'Fact that Mil and Sil eat that proportion of food usually and are not overweight while OP eats way more that she gets in a huff and steels food from others plates shows MiL knows how to give out correct portions of food and OP doesn't'

It is steal not steel

Glad lunch was ok!

user14 that is not long term.
ldoi i never said i wasn't one of them.

Exactly MiL was not mean to OP, she realizes due to biology women have a lower calorific need then men so gave correct proportional food amounts.

Not according to MN.
Men and women are exactly the same and need the same amount of calories.