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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have 'humiliated' my MIL

999 replies

ImALurkerNotAFighter · 07/05/2017 11:22

MIL has an awful tendency to do 'penis portions'. I'd avoided staying with her for a few years, as when breastfeeding she'd served up a tiny inadequate meal, then told me she hadn't done a plate for DS as 'he could just have some of mine' Angry This was on top of sly little digs about my weight.
So MIL wanted us to stay this weekend so she could spend time with the DC. DH usually goes alone but apparently as I'm free this weekend it would be rude for me not to come. They very kindly babysat the asleep DC while we went to the pub. This morning MIL does breakfast for us and SIL and BIL. I get 1 small sausage, 1 half piece of bacon, 1 egg and a small slice of dry toast. MIL and SIL have similar. DH, FIL and BIL get 3 large sausages, 2 bacon, 2 eggs, beans and black pudding. I asked MIL if there was any more, she looked shocked and said no.
I was very cross at this point and walked round the table, took half the sausage, black pudding and beans off a very quiet DH to even it up (we were both left with pretty equal quantities) and sat back down.
MIL feels I have humiliated her, and 'at your size you clearly don't realise that was a proper breakfast '. I'm a size 18, so yes, fat.
I'm fuming and want to leave now. DH wants to stay and take them out for lunch as planned.
I know there are mumsnetters out there who believe the wimminz should subsist on a lettuce leaf and a sniff of meat, but sensible people of mumsnet WIBU? AIBU to pack the DC and leave?

OP posts:
C8H10N4O2 · 07/05/2017 22:07

OP Did you have any parking problems? Please say you did, this could last for weeks if so :-)

Original poster
ImALurkerNotAFighter · 07/05/2017 22:12

C8 Now that you mention it there does seem to be someone parked on my drive. I'll just pop out to slash their tyres....

OP posts:
user1494184470 · 07/05/2017 22:12

OP, get a Fitbit and work out your TDEE, I did two years ago and lost 3 stone. It will be hard at first but stick with it and you can get to a healthy weight and stay alive longer to be with your kids. You might be thinking MiL is mean for trying to get you to a healthy weight be she just wants you to be healthy so you don't die early.

Gileswithachainsaw · 07/05/2017 22:14

Anyone else have an urge to invite you lot round make a tin of tomato soup, the crusts of bread and three fondant fancies go round a dozen of you then watch the thread on MN unfold with the competative non eating and gratefulness....

Squishedstrawberry4 · 07/05/2017 22:14

If motherinlaw come to yours please serve her even minuscule portions. One fried mushroom with a third of a sausage and three beans.

Original poster
ImALurkerNotAFighter · 07/05/2017 22:15

WTF is a TDEE?

OP posts:
paxillin · 07/05/2017 22:15

Fried breakfast is the worst meal to plate up, penis portions or otherwise. Many people have 3 favourites out of the 10 or so standard items. Dishing it up means nobody really gets what they want.

Good plan to have them over at yours, I'd do that, too. Remove her ability to "discipline" you using food.

Chippednailvarnishing · 07/05/2017 22:16

OP by your Mil a Fitbit and then she can obsess over her weird weight control issues / food disorders 24/7 and leave you the fuck alone!

AgitatedGuava · 07/05/2017 22:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paxillin · 07/05/2017 22:17

WTF is a TDEE?

total daily energy expenditure an attempt to lecture you on how to lose weight

Mum2jenny · 07/05/2017 22:17

user etc etc you are getting really boring with your Fitbit n TDEE ( wtf is it anyway?). Who cares!!!!

Chippednailvarnishing · 07/05/2017 22:17

Totally Disordered Ejit Eating

BaronessEllaSaturday · 07/05/2017 22:18

user1494184470 this has fuck all to do with the ops weight or the mil would have given herself and the SIL bigger portions. It is out and out misogony that men deserve so much bigger portions.

Mum2jenny · 07/05/2017 22:18

Love it chipped Smile

user1494184470 · 07/05/2017 22:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
ImALurkerNotAFighter · 07/05/2017 22:22

Agree with chipped
I will not be doing that. I do need to lose some weight. However I'm aware 95% of weight loss efforts are ultimately unsuccessful. I'm doing a lot of research before i commit to a way of eating.

OP posts:
ToastDemon · 07/05/2017 22:23

user well done on the wide eyed faux naive demeanour.

flumpybear · 07/05/2017 22:24

There was a story in the Daily Fail about s woman who was the perfect weight, perfect height, watched her diet and kept track of her TDEE regularly - she was hit by a McDonald's delivery lorry WHILST CHECKING her TDEE .... I shit you not!!! WinkHmm

user1494184470 · 07/05/2017 22:25

That's why a fitbit is great you work out your TDEE and then eat 200 Calories less then needed it gets your gets you a slow but healthy weight loss and the amount is not to great that it causes you to get hungry and give up. First week or two is hard cause you are used to overeating maybe by even 1000 calories by what you have posted so far.

BaronessEllaSaturday · 07/05/2017 22:26

user1494184470

I think you have missed just how out of sync the portions were. The men were given more than twice as much, if anything 3 times as much. That is not proportional in anyones book.

Original poster
ImALurkerNotAFighter · 07/05/2017 22:26

user14 bollocks. My calorie requirements are not 1/3 that of my husband.

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnishing · 07/05/2017 22:26

UserBlah has it OP. Dress as a bloke next time you visit. You'll get fed double portions then!
Problem solved.

Gileswithachainsaw · 07/05/2017 22:26

Grin flump

user1487941567 · 07/05/2017 22:27

Knowing what you know about her behaviour, I would have packed snacks.

"Is there anymore food MIL?"
"NO"
"Now see I thought you'd say that so I bought my own" whacks open a family bag of cheese and onion walkers

Mum2jenny · 07/05/2017 22:28

If I were served a meal with less food than my dh, I'd be seriously pissed off and I would create a scene, even if I wasn't hungry.

It is just not acceptable in any way in my experience.

I eat way more food than my dh, and my bmi is much less than his, but I am wY more active than him.

But I eat when I'm hungry and only then! Most days I eat 1 or 2 meals a day as I never eat early in the day.