Do you feel guilty about being well off?

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Inspired by the thread about big houses. Growing inequality within developed societies is becoming a global issue and was arguably a key factor in Brexit and the election of Trump etc

Many of us have more than we need, much more than others. I say I believe in societal inequality - and I sincerely believe that I do - but apart from reasonable donations to charity and votes for the left of centre candidates (Green, in my case) I'm not really doing anything to disrupt the status quo.

I'm well off, partly because I've worked hard, but mostly (if I'm honest) because I'm lucky and I feel guilty about it.

AIBU? Or is greed just a fundamental part of human nature?

I have a better quality of life than my parents and grand parents

Isnt this what all families hope for ?

Do I feel guilty ? NO !

Fortunate ? YES

I work hard and choose carefully when and where to spend my money

I support family, friends and charities through giving my time, money or donations

I like to travel and I have seen other countries where people are not so fortunate

I think if you have your health and people who love you and that you are happy, this is probably worth more than lots of money (look at all the celebrities that have wealth, but seem so unhappy)

I do, we're average by British standards but compared to most of the rest of the world we are SO lucky.

I know it's an accident of birth and not my 'fault' but I do have some sort of low level guilt every time I stop to think about it.

I don't feel guilty but I do acknowledge our luck. We're well off compared to most we know and rarely have to consider affording things, so we're very fortunate.

Not guilty, though, no. Because it's not something we've achieved through shitting on others or taking anyone for a ride.

Definitely. We're not super rich. But top few %. There's no way that it is fair that we have so much more than most others. We've not inherited anything, it's all earned, but it's basically just down to good fortune that we had the abilities, the opportunities, and everything worked out well.

We give to charity, do some voluntary work, vote Left, but could clearly could afford to do so much more. But we don't because we are fundamentally selfish.

We recently spent about 100k of savings on improving our house. It wasn't essential. It was a perfectly nice house already. We could have given that money to much more worthwhile causes than our house extension and when I think about I feel slightly queasy.

The only thing that makes it acceptable is that other people do the same and worse. But it doesn't make it right and I do feel guilty some of the time. Then I forget about it again like most of us do.

I'm honestly a bit sickened by anyone in a similar position who says they don't feel even a tiny bit guilty. Not for earning the money, but for not giving a significant amount away.

I have been as poor as a church mouse at times watching every penny, other times was ok and had enough to get by on with a small savings pot, now I have more savings but no income to speak of! Not once did I think anyone who had more money than me should feel guilty!

I have worked all my life and sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you have to deal with it, sometimes all your hard work (or your family circumstances) means you have a whole lot more.

Its no skin off my nose if someone is rich or not. Good luck to them, its up to them to do what they want with thier own money.

If I was rich I wouldnt feel guilty at all, I would still give to the same charities I do now, would help out any family members who needed it etc but if I was suddenly rich my first priority would still be to ensure my kids are ok for the future, I am ok for the future and to enjoy the here and now. O wouldnt go overboard spending money like water, thats never been me and that wouldnt change but I wouldnt feel guilty that I had bought myself something nice either.

Of you are rich through hard work in your line of work, enterprise, being in the right place/right time or self made millionaire etc then you deserte what you get why shouldnt you enjoy it?

If you are rich through family money, marraige etc then thats hardly your 'fault' its just life.

If it hasnt turned you into a self serving, arrogant monster and you are a decent human being then you dont owe an explaination to anyone any more than someone who has less money than you. Many rich and super rich do give to charities, help raise funds, support causes etc on the quiet without fuss, its not for me to ask if they are or are not giving their own money away, its their business.

Wondering how much money someone has isnt first in my line of questions when I meet someone new, I really dont care.

I can't see the point in feeling guilty. Be grateful by all means but guilt?
There will always be inequality. I know there are many people much better off than me and I rarely think about it.

I come from a working class background. One of 5 kids from a council house had free School dinners! I worked hard went to Uni, am fiercely proud of my upbringing. I have nice holidays etc etc. my siblings are insanely jealous but they could have achieved the same! It was hard work that got me where I am.

Having read the whole thread now I'm amazed by the number of people who say they don't feel guilty. The more thoughtful people acknowledge that they are extremely fortunate but most say they don't feel guilty, because it is a "pointless emotion" or similar (do you really get to choose your emotions based on how useful they are?).

Like I said, I don't feel guilty for earning a high household income. But I could clearly afford to give away far, far more to people in far worse circumstances than me. I could live in a cheaper house, cut the holidays, the meals out etc. I could give the money to charities that save lives. But I don't.

So those of you who earn good incomes and don't feel bad at all. Do you

1. already give away so much that you are living at a very basic level or
2. think you deserve a better life than other people or 3)think there is no way to give money away that would improve the lives of the less fortunate 3)either not think about it or think it just doesn't matter

Because I can't think of any other options!

I feel just incredibly lucky. I grew up very poor and now earn a six figure salary, my husband is also a high earner. I never viewed us as in any way well off as it evolved over the years if that makes sense?

It was a couple of threads on mumsnet that made me think about it and I asked my daughter if she thought we were wealthy, as she is very socially concious and she responded, "yes, I do mum, some people have nothing, I talk to the big issue seller and she cries because she can't afford to eat" . We are not rich but I can see we could be considered affluent.

I don't feel guilty, but I do feel very lucky as I've lived through poor and I know what it feels like.

We have a comfortable income but have a disabled child who will never work and will always be totally dependent on others. Ultimately he is our priority and we want to provide for him now and his future after we are gone (because no one else will care).

I don't feel guilty at all. I've been "poor" in the past - I used to think I was minted if I had more than a tenner to last the week. I worked hard and I improved my situation so why would I feel guilty?

Now I think I'm "on the bare bones of my arse" if I have less than a grand left each month after all outgoings. However I'm well aware that things could go full circle and I could end up poor again so why feel guilty about what I have now?

I consider my family comfortably off (nice enough house, 2 cars, child in private school etc) not rich but I do often feel a bit guilty about it and very fortunate. Ours is partly luck of having parents that did well and partly hard work in good careers. However I don't feel bad enough to give it all away (although we do give regularly to charity) which I'm guessing is how most people feel!

And this is why people vote Conservative.

I don't understand that comment shortsaint. I won't be.

I do not feel guilty. I work hard have had little time off other than holidays and try and add value to wnhich ever role I am in. Some is being in the right place at the right time and luck other is sheer determination and drive. I earn a very good salary and I pay my taxes so I am contributing to society.
I am not saying those who earn less do not work hard or any less harder but I can only talk about what I do.
I come from an ordinary family, lived in a council house to start but my parents worked hard to buy their own. Mum and dad worked in jobs that did not particularly pay that well. I was bright but left school at 18 with olevels and some aolevels but no degree.
So to be honest I get fed when people go on about inequality and the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer. You need to allow people to reach their potential and go up the social and career ladder and be rewarded for that. A strong economical climate is beneficial for everyone. I pay a reasonable amount of tax for a year (last year about £34k) and between me and the company we pay a fair bit of NI.
So do I feel guilty, absolutely not but do I have empathy for those that struggle.

I was reading the start of this thread, and whilst not all posters are saying this, there is a lot of 'I'm all right Jack, I've worked hard, I don't feel guilty, I'm happy with my lot and I will continue to ensure that I continue like this.'

I am relatively ok, have a home, a car, holidays. Not guilty, but do feel a responsibility to try to enable a fairer, more equitable society. Hence why I don't vote Conservative.

irregularegular

In answer to your question I don't feel I deserve a better life, I have the life I worked for. For me our family unit comes first. I don't really look outside that.

I have fallen on hard times in the past and I know what it's like. It also taught me no one cared about my personal situation and it was up to me alone to improve my situation.

I don't feel guilty as both me and my partner have come from modest backgrounds and have worked hard for our money.
I think it helps that we are both in jobs that benefit other people (education and medicine)

Shortsaint I'm sure the people worse off that you would prefer you to give them your money than a patronizing 'I dont vote for the bad guys, although I hugely benefit from the systems in place'. If you car, do something, if not admit you are part of the problem. Then accept that or do something.

No, I don't feel guilty. There are much richer people than me in the UK. If I'd made my money by skinning orphans or mugging old ladies, then I might feel guilty, but as I made it by taking risks and seizing opportunities, I don't.

Nope although I do have to watch what I say as we recently moved to an area where low incomes are very much the norm from an area where high incomes were very much the norm. I don't feel guilty that I have more than some, I just don't think it's appropriate to be flashing it around in front of those who have less.

I don't feel guilt - we didn't get wealthy by screwing anyone over.

I do give my time to charity twice a week, and financially contribute substantial amounts - because I am grateful for my good fortune and am aware that others are not so lucky....

No I don't. It is the very rich who are getting very richer.

I don't feel at all guilty in the UK (we have base level social security and social mobility) - we're well off but we made it ourselves and we've definitely been pretty poor in our earlier married life. I remember when we literally had a can of beans and 42p for the day. My husband pays a huge amount of tax and works incredibly hard.

But..... I do feel awful/helpless when I see real poverty (particularly of lone mothers with children) in some parts of the world. It slays me and I wish I could genuinely reach out to someone like that and help them directly. My kids often say we aren't 'rich' because we don't have a home abroad like many of their friends or fly first class. But I always remind them that the people around us and them are ALL rich by the standards of the world.

Round of applause for Scarlett and irregularregular. About the only two posts on here that didn't make me want to vomit.