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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Primary school have requested younger siblings don't go to parents evening

366 replies

Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:01

Problem with this obviously is that it means one of us can't go, and I know the other parent will feed back but it's not the same as you can't ask any questions on an as and when basis.

AIBU to think it's a bit unfair?

OP posts:
Sirzy · 03/05/2017 07:04

I think it's fair enough. Not ideal but at the same time the teachers have minimal time to talk to the parents so don't want them being distracted by sorting children.

If necessary surely small groups of parents can work together to provide childcare on a bit of a "tag team" basis to allow everyone to go?

Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:05

I wouldn't imagine so, most will be left with the other parent or grandparents.

OP posts:
Halfbakedpie · 03/05/2017 07:05

Is there no-one in the class in the same situation, you could watch their younger child outside the school for 20 mins while they go in then they watch yours while you both go in.

Sirzy · 03/05/2017 07:05

I meant for people who don't have anyone else.

If other parent or grandparents are there then fantastic makes it nice and simple!

Angelicinnocent · 03/05/2017 07:06

We used to team up with a friend. They went in to see teacher and we kept the younger siblings in the playground with our DC. They then came out and kept our youngest while we saw the teacher. Don't know if you can organise this with another parent

cece · 03/05/2017 07:06

Standard practice I'd say. Usually parents share childcare amongst themselves to allow pairs of parents to attend.

SelkieQualia · 03/05/2017 07:07

Problem is, you won't get to concentrate on what the teacher is saying if you have a toddler in the room anyway.

Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:07

Yes, but it means I won't get to go, which is what I'm upset about :)

OP posts:
OffRoader · 03/05/2017 07:08

It's probably because some parents let their young children run wild around the classroom, wrecking the place and then walking out leaving the teacher to clean up after them.

The minority ruining it for everyone else as per.

Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:09

Yes - you'd think they'd just request children to be kept under control so to speak though!

OP posts:
CassandraAusten · 03/05/2017 07:09

Same rule at our school, I think it's fair enough really.

RainbowPastel · 03/05/2017 07:10

No children allowed at ours at all.

WateryTart · 03/05/2017 07:10

Standard practice in every school where I have taught. Younger children are a distraction for the teachers and the other parents.

Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:10

Don't they find it adversely affects attendance though cassandra?

OP posts:
NormaSmuff · 03/05/2017 07:10

at my dc primary they had a creche set up for younger pupils.
can you suggest that?
it was run by the PTA

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 03/05/2017 07:11

They've requested they can't demand.
What about a single parent with literally no family to help out. There are such people. What's she expected to do. Leave her other child at home with milk and cookies.

Sirzy · 03/05/2017 07:11

And how much of the 5 min time slot do you suggest the teacher sits and waits for them to come under control?

SellFridges · 03/05/2017 07:11

I have no idea how you can concentrate on having a valuable conversation with a teacher if your younger child is also in the room. If I had no alternative then I would go along while DH stayed with the children.

Our school has a policy that no children should attend, with the exception of year 5 and 6. This is perfectly sensible and of course people still ignore it when others have gone to the trouble of adhering.

Butterymuffin · 03/05/2017 07:12

Can you ask for any volunteers to run a crèche with you? So you and whoever else would be with the kids with toys in a nearby room, but each take turns to see the teacher? Ask the head if they'll support that.

Sparklingbrook · 03/05/2017 07:12

I think it's fair enough. We used to take it in turns. Any questions can be dealt with after the PE anyway.

One they got to High School we both wanted to go.

SummerSazz · 03/05/2017 07:12

Our school has parents evening in the hall and a play area set up in the middle with lego and books etc. Works well.

We don't have any local childcare so we'd be in the same situation and I'd be pissed off too.

What is the age of your younger sibling - would they sit quietly in a corner with a book/iPad and headphones? If so I'd take them along and explain your situation to the teacher.

Sparklingbrook · 03/05/2017 07:12

*Once

FlapAttack78 · 03/05/2017 07:13

That's crazy. I am a teacher and that s so unfair. I teach secondary and many parents bring babies.. toddlers etc.. that's life.. I manage to get a message across to 34 kids at one time so a few babies and toddlers is nothing! I have to take my 2 year old to all.my midwife appointments etc as I just don't have anyone to have him... would have to go and miss work if I didn't rather than go on my days off

SaucyJack · 03/05/2017 07:14

"Yes, but it means I won't get to go, which is what I'm upset about"

You're not missing anything anyway. Primary school ones really don't need both parents to go unless there's an actual proper issue to discuss.

meditrina · 03/05/2017 07:14

You could go and leave DC with DH. Or you could hire a babysitter. Or you could become active on the PTA and see if a crèche can be set up.

But what you can't do is parachute an infant into a school event which they have specifically been asked not to attend. Concentrate on your school age child (which is the whole point of the meeting).

It's not unfair.

And there will always be one or two families who -for whatever reason - cannot attend at all (ask for email version of the notes the teacher would have spoken from). It's not unfair on them either, just dreadfully bad luck on timing/logistics. Schools can never make everything fit everybody.