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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Primary school have requested younger siblings don't go to parents evening

366 replies

Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:01

Problem with this obviously is that it means one of us can't go, and I know the other parent will feed back but it's not the same as you can't ask any questions on an as and when basis.

AIBU to think it's a bit unfair?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 03/05/2017 07:31

From memory First school parents' evenings were half an hour wait followed by a 5 minute appointment.
Lots of parents would overun their time putting the whole evening behind.

Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:32

Yes ... I understand parents evenings are not always ideal but I would like to chat to his teacher on this occasion to be honest.

OP posts:
Notso · 03/05/2017 07:32

I wouldn't take siblings we don't even take the child who's teacher/s we are speaking to.
At DC4's parents meeting we were disrupted by several toddlers running in and out of the classroom and screeching. They all had two parents with them, one had both parents and a set of grandparents Hmm

Oriunda · 03/05/2017 07:32

Our school give you 10mins. People with younger siblings usually arrange that the 'next' person in the queue arrive a bit early and look after the sibling whilst they're in there. Just see who is going in after you and ask if they'd look after the sibling - and offer to do the same for them if they need it.

GloriaGilbert · 03/05/2017 07:33

Seems reasonable to me. Organise a creche via the parents' association if you like.

Sirzy · 03/05/2017 07:34

As others have said if you have proper issues to discuss With the teacher then parents evening isn't really the place for that anyway - make a separate appointment for that

sleeplessinderbyshire · 03/05/2017 07:34

We get a babysitter for parents evening or put kids in after school club if an early slot (club shuts at 6). Would never occur to me to take kids with me in primary - need to be able to discuss them honestly and openly and you cannot possibly do that with a child in tow.

If we get a sitter we would then make the most of it and go out for dinner or go for a walk after parents evening appointment to make most of child free time.

Sparklingbrook · 03/05/2017 07:35

I would like to chat to his teacher on this occasion to be honest.

You don't have to wait for PE to do this especially if it's going to be a long chat.

Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:35

I don't think there would be much call for that, gloria

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 03/05/2017 07:36

bollard what do you mean it's a request that isn't enforceable? All the teacher has to do to enforce the rule is refuse to see parents who have brought siblings along. Easy.

I agree with the school and it's pretty common not to get both parents at a parents evening. I always assumed they talked to each other.

Op if you really want to go buy your husband is insisting, that's where you should be fighting your battles.

Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:37

I know sparkling, but I would still have a banished toddler with me! Really I would like to go because otherwise no one will if DH isn't at work, and generally speaking I want to go to see if we do need a longer chat. If what you are saying is parents evenings are a waste of time - well I partly agree - but I would still like to attend. Plus the principle of it does grate: they inform us that it is so very important we come and then make it impossible for me to come!

OP posts:
MrsKCastle · 03/05/2017 07:37

I'm going to go against the grain and say that the school should be more accommodating. Yes, younger siblings can be a pain but many parents will find it difficult to get a babysitter and it's not always possible to leave them with another parent. Schools should be doing whatever they can to build strong working relationships with the parents. Better to have a slightly disturbed appointment rather than no contact at all and the reputation of being unhelpful.

BollardDodger · 03/05/2017 07:37

They aren't giving up their evening, it's directed time smile
Exactly. Teachers would never cope with a real world, shift-based having to work during school holidays and bank holidays type job. For an employer that doesn't recognise unions.

NormaSmuff · 03/05/2017 07:38

have you got a relative to childmind? your DM or MIL?

Sparklingbrook · 03/05/2017 07:40

I assume the toddler is only 'banished' (dramatic!) from PE not from an appointment after school you had previously arranged with the teacher who will know you are bringing them. Confused

PE in First school aren't a waste of time but very often aren't particularly surprising or enlightening.
You need to wait til High School for those.

NormaSmuff · 03/05/2017 07:40

or just take the younger sibling op - even if they have requested it, if you are insistent on both going and have no baby sitter. you have no choice. dont worry about it. you may well not be the only one, and in the meantime suggest that the pta set up a creche.

BollardDodger · 03/05/2017 07:40

Organise a creche via the parents' association if you like.
Who's going to organise all the DBS checks?

Sparklingbrook · 03/05/2017 07:41

Ah now the teacher bashing has started I see.

Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:42

Oh for goodness sake sparkling it was a joke, hence why I added the exclamation mark. What is first school - do you mean primary? No, no relatives at all norma

OP posts:
NormaSmuff · 03/05/2017 07:42

presumably the dbs are considered wth parent helpers, there is probably a loop hole, and doubtless if pta are involved then they should have dbs.
dbs doesnt mean a thing tbh

BlackeyedSusan · 03/05/2017 07:44

some people just do not ave the relatives to step in.

when oldest dc was young, I would not have been able to attend due to having a younger child with a disa bility who did not have a baby sitter who could manage him.

Sparklingbrook · 03/05/2017 07:44

Three tier here. First School/Middle School/High School.

NormaSmuff · 03/05/2017 07:45

why dont you speak to the teacher at pick up time and explain your predicament op

Original poster
Soyamilkisniceintea · 03/05/2017 07:45

Right, well I don't know what ages they are but as I've said I would like to go :)

OP posts:
TeenAndTween · 03/05/2017 07:46

Soya I don't see where you have addressed the usual sensible suggestion. Ask another parent who is waiting to mind your children whilst you see the teacher. It was standard practice at my DDs primary. if you don't like asking for help well tough, at times you have to. They don't have to have extra children with them too.

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